Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 24 December 2018

image for Bill Cosby Is Santa Claus As Christmas Pantomime Season Gets Going
They're behind you!

Former US comedian, Bill Cosby, now incarcerated for between 3 and 10 years for rape, has been getting into the Christmas spirit behind bars, and earlier today visited fellow inmates in their cells, dressed as Santa Claus.

As the pantomime season kicked-off in earnest, Cosby, 81, donned his Santa suit and a white beard, and posed for photos with criminals, one of whom sat on his knee, as Cosby asked him:

"What would you like for Christmas, little boy?"

The lag whispered into Cosby's ear, then a giggle passed between them, as the former Dr. Huxtable rummaged around with his sack.

The old-timer delighted the jail as he visited inmates in their cells, passed out gifts, and had a few cheery festive anecdotes to share. He strove to make everyone's dreams come true, and left a sea of beaming faces and a trail of laughter behind him, and God saw that it was good.

Said Cosby:

"Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas, zipadee-boo-wop-wop-wop!"

Cosby also performed favorite Christmas Carols, but instead of singing, he hummed them, along with that jazzy boo-ba-beep-beep-ba-bee-boo-boo bullshit, and a selection of his 'funny faces', which had both inmates and guards howling with laughter.

Only once was there any sign of trouble, when, visiting a notorious homosexual inmate, he was bundled inside the cell, and guards were prevented from entering by the man's 'friends'. Cosby emerged ten minutes later with his trousers around his ankles and beard askew, but claimed he was unhurt, despite walking a bit funny for the rest of the day.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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