Man Has Opened New Pack Of Chocolate Biscuits

Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 28 December 2018

image for Man Has Opened New Pack Of Chocolate Biscuits

News has just reached The Spoof that a man who believes that chocolate biscuits are the best thing since sliced bread - possibly even before that - has opened a brand new 300gram pack of McVitie's Plain Chocolate Digestive biscuits "in the last few days".

Myke Woodson, 55, of Tapon commune in Battambang, returned to England to see his mother in August, and, before going back to Cambodia, he nipped into Tesco to purchase the biscuits as a 'special treat' for once he got home.

Since then, the biscuits had been sitting at the back of his fridge, causing his mouth to water every time he opened the fridge door and saw them staring back at him.

Earlier this week, however, their time finally came, and the biscuits were ripped open with glee by Woodson, only for the whole episode to end in disappointment. Myke:

"I thought that, by putting them in the checked baggage in the hold of the aircraft, the biscuits would have been kept cool, but at some stage, they must have been exposed to a very great heat, and melted. When I opened the pack, there was one solid 300g chocolate biscuit. So much for my special Christmas treat!"

Nobody at McVitie's was available for comment.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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