Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 23 December 2018

image for Russia Is Behind Gatwick Drones
Guilt written all over his face

The police investigation into the unauthorised drone activity at Gatwick Airport went 'two steps back' today, when a man and a woman arrested on Saturday were released without charge.

Russia has emerged as the new suspect.

The drone, which was spotted several times during last week, was eventually responsible for a total shutdown of the airport until the situation had been resolved. Even the airport toilets wouldn't flush.

The police swooped into action quickly to apprehend a 47-year-old local man and a 55-year-old local woman, who, it's now known, were both as completely innocent as the baby Jesus was in his manger.

To illustrate how desperate and clueless the police are, they have now offered a £50,000 Crimestoppers reward for information leading to the capture of the people responsible. They've also given many of their officers some much-needed time off during this festive season to recuperate.

All through this week, however, the Russians have said nothing. They have merely watched from behind their Iron Curtain, staring silently, steely-eyed, showing no emotion whatsoever, all in charcoal suits and ties.

It doesn't take a great detective to work this one out.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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