"It's a no-brainer. Who wouldn't want to sell all the ingredients for the after-party? Viagra for that long lasting erection, along with Sensodyne for oral health, and Chapstick to moisten those dry, cracked lips. We also do Panadol for the hangover," said GlaxoSmithKline boss, Felicity Fellatio, as she announced its blockbuster tie-up with rival Pfizer, to create a £10 billion consumer health leviathan.
The venture will bring together brands including Panadol and Sensodyne with US giant Pfizer’s Viagra and Chapstick, leaving GSK with a standalone pharmaceuticals business which Ms Fellatio is keen to expand further. The UK-based over-the-counter goods firm will be spun off and listed separately on the London stock market within three years.
Ms Fellatio told The Spoof that next on its product list is the introduction of a mouthwash for those unexpected and unpleasant moments.