Delegates at the G20 summit in Buenos Aires watched and listened in a hypnotized silence this afternoon, as they were informed by a mystery speaker that, contrary to popular opinion, Global Warming is actually a good thing - for all the creatures that live in the oceans, that is!
Ron Flipper, a dolphin in a suit, stood erect on his tail as he addressed delegates from the podium in a 20-minute speech, and told them that:
"Far from being the environmental disasters they have been made out to be, global warming, climate change, the depletion of the ozone layer, melting ice and rising sea levels are, in fact, extremely welcome to the marine population! Please continue to emit carbon at, or above, current levels, and know that the kingdoms of the sea thank you from the very bottom of their ocean hearts!"
Then he sat down, a bit awkwardly, and there was applause.
US President, Donald Trump, looking smug, led the applause, and thundered above it:
"I told you all, but nobody listens to Trump!"