Christmas Sales To Start On Christmas Day

Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 9 December 2018

image for Christmas Sales To Start On Christmas Day
Christmas Sales shoppers already starting to gather outside Harrods in London

Christmas bargain hunters will not have quite as long to wait for their 'Christmas bargains' this year, after businesses voted overwhelmingly to throw open their doors to customers at 6am on 25 December.

The move comes as high-street traders try to head-off the attack from growing internet sales, which have already accounted for the permanent closure of thousands of shops in town centres throughout the UK.

The sales - which used to be called 'New Year Sales' - have started on Boxing Day for around a decade, and have resulted in shoppers turning up to look for bargains with turkey still stuck between their teeth.

Many of the business owners responsible for making the decision to open on Christmas Day have also discussed opening hours, with some proposing that shops be allowed to open 24 hours per day throughout the year.

The news has been welcomed by freaky shopaholics, but nobody else.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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