Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 3 December 2018

image for President Trump Christmas Album Out Thursday
Trump belting out a high note

US President Donald Trump has, this morning, revealed in a tweet that he is to break into the music industry "with a purpose" by releasing a Christmas album that is available from Thursday.

The album features various Trump speeches recorded over traditional festive favorites, in a 'talkover style' that is sure to go down a storm with his supporters. There are also several 'Trumpversions', demonstrating Trump's special ability to stamp his own personal interpretation on something.

Security is tight, but tracks on the album are known to include:

- 'Unto Us A Boy Is Born', (in Trump's version, 'Unto Us A King Is Born'), with Trump, rap-like, booming repeatedly that he's going to "make America great again"

- 'Silent Night', with tender Trump soothing last line "Sleep in heavenly peace", for all the enemies of the US

- 'Let's Hear It For The Boy!', a song to celebrate Brett Kavanaugh's victory

- 'Would I Lie To You?', a cover version of the Eurythmics hit, in a duet with Brett Kavanaugh

- 'Caravan of Love', another cover, this time of the Housemartins accapella chart-topping blockbuster. Dedicated to Hondurans

- 'Please, Mr Postman', the old Carpenters classic, included here as a tribute to Cesar Sayoc

- 'What's The Difference?', the Dr Dre classic in a duet with Kanye West

- 'Rogue Operator', Trumpversion of the Sade hit, dedicated to MbS

- 'Don't Wait For Me Argentina', (G20 mix)

- the album's coup de grace, a stirring rendition of the Pink Floyd classic 'Another Brick In The Wall', with Trump substituting the word 'brick' with another word that sounds like 'brick', which is a coarse term for 'a Spaniard'

The album will retail at $19.99, and all proceeds will go towards making Trump even richer and megalomaniacal than he is at the moment.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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