Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 8 December 2018

image for Man Buys Black-And-White TV Set
It's not the same with color

A man who craves the return of 'the good old days', took a step down that path at the weekend, when he bought a black-and-white television set from an old woman who wanted rid of it, for £10.

Moys Kenwood, 55, of Hull, is easily old enough to be able to remember watching 'Watch With Mother' with his mother just after dinnertime back in the late-1960s, and can fondly recall the two-tone productions of 'Andy Pandy' and the 'Flower Pot Men', starring Bill and Ben.

He also has a mass of black-and-white family photographs which he often peruses, and swears blind that he prefers them to the color photos of more-modern times.

Now, however, he's taken his love of the two 'non-colors' to new lengths, after purchasing the ancient black-and-white TV, although it does make watching football a bit trickier.

Said Kenwood:

"I'm fed up of seeing everything in glorious technicolor, and 'high-definition'. I know what happens when someone gets shot, or what a patient's wound looks like in 'Holby City' - I don't need to see seas of red. I'm not going to miss color. I like all the old black-and-white films, plus 'Rumble Fish', so lack of color won't be a problem."

The TV has a lot of big buttons to press, and dials to turn, and comes with a circular aerial that fits into the back of the set, and can be bent around in order to attempt to better receive a signal. The distorted sound reverberates through the plastic casing, and gives the set an authentic '1970s feel'. It is gray.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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