Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 1 December 2018

image for Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Settle Custardy Battle
Mmmm...

Movie stars Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, whose marriage ended in a split in 2016, have ended their custardy battle in agreement, reports the Spoof.

Pitt and Jolie - commonly referred to by fans as 'Brangelina' - have six children aged between 10 and 17. Three are their biological offspring, and three are unbiological.

All of them like custard.

According to lawyers for the strange twosome, the central problem in their torrid relationship was that Jolie never much cared for custard, preferring fresh cream. If, for example, the family were sitting down to a desert of chocolate sponge cake, Jolie would always lament the fact that there was never any fresh cream, and that she was forced to slop custard on whatever was for dessert.

This situation went on for months, before the whole marriage became unbearable in April of 2016, when strawberries were served after dinner, and Pitt prepared a gallon of custard, rather than the more traditional fresh cream. Jolie left the table in disgust, and called her attorney. She filed for divorce, citing "irreconcilable differences".

Now, however, it seems the couple have settled their dispute, and, despite calling time on their relationship, they will attempt to be more understanding of each other's dietary preferences in the future.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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