There were 224 spoof news stories published in December 2018. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Johnny Carson “Carnak The Magnificent” One Liners
BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. Some of his one liners: "A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou." Reading the contents of the envelope: "Name three things that have yeast." A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G. Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H? A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo. Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be? A: Zippo Marx. Q: What do you...
Read full storyTrump Threatens to "Totally Destroy" Ankara if Turks Attack Kurds
The White House. President Donald Trump today tweeted a threat to Turkey's President Recep Erdogan in the event of a Turkish attack on Kurds in Syria. "I love Recep, but if he unwisely moves militarily against our Kurdish allies, the U.S. will res...
Read full storySanta's In Trouble; Caught Singing "Baby, It's Cold Outside"
It's cold INSIDE, too, in many quarters for poor Santa, since some MeToo-ers have declared the song suggestive and deserving of being banned from the airwaves. Many of those who sing it are being relegated to the doghouse. But Santa is defiant, st...
Read full storyTurner Prize 2018 Dominated By Smartphone Videos
The Turner Prize 2018 has gone to Charlotte Prodger, a 44-year-old Scottish lesbian who filmed herself 'coming out' on her iPhone, but the second and third-placed entries were also videos recorded on phones. Second place went to the Hull-born soci...
Read full storyStruggling Comic Strikes Gold with Trump
NYC -- 36 year-old Benjamin Kowalski of Newark, New Jersey, has struggled for more than 15 years to find success telling jokes on-stage. Born into a family of strict orthodox Jews, it was always assumed he was headed for medical or law school. But...
Read full storyChristmas Sales To Start On Christmas Day
Christmas bargain hunters will not have quite as long to wait for their 'Christmas bargains' this year, after businesses voted overwhelmingly to throw open their doors to customers at 6am on 25 December. The move comes as high-street traders try t...
Read full storyUpskirty Stick To Be Removed From Stores
A company that makes smartphone accessories has announced that its 'Upskirty Stick', the newly-designed successor to the 'Selfie Stick', has been pulled from shelves after the government banned the product. O'Sodomy Accessories say the 'Upskirty S...
Read full storyMan Sucked Inside Hadron Collider
There's been a disaster at the site of the Large Hadron Collider facility near Geneva, Switzerland, after a man who was on duty there fell asleep, and was sucked inside the machine. The LHC went live in 2008 to try to accelerate particles in order...
Read full storyMate Tea Bag Thrown At President Trump At G20 Summit
There was controversy in Buenos Aires this evening, when delegates leaving the G20 Summit were surprised by a protestor who threw a mate tea bag at US President, Donald Trump, hitting him on the forehead. Police moved in, and a woman was led away...
Read full storyList of Future Top Jobs For the Next Generation Includes Many New Ones Not on List Before
The Naldrett Future Studies Institute of Anchor Bay released their latest report on future jobs. This gives Millennials the chance to plan ahead before spending all their future earnings on college courses. The Institute said that the most jobs w...
Read full storyTrump Denies Rumors that He Is the Antichrist
"Nonsense," scoffed President Donald Trump in response to widely-circulating rumors that he may be the Antichrist. “Granted, I may be a little abrasive, but I’m not the Antichrist.” “Or Satan,” he clarified. The rumors that Trump could in fact...
Read full storyTrump Breaks Dow With Premature Chinese Tariff Promise
Wall Street, Manhattan President Donald Trump has done it again, as he set a new record for negative tweeting. Because he broadcast a tariff deal as 'done' when it WASN'T done, the fine folks on Wall Street went into panic mode, and the Dow plunged 8...
Read full storyFrench Rioters Try To Pull Down Eiffel Tower
The Eiffel Tower, the symbol of Paris, of France, and of Paris, France, has been the object of an ugly incident during the ongoing riotous actions of a few despicable thugs in the capital today. A crowd of about a thousand Yellow Vest protestors a...
Read full story2019 - The First Time For 100 Years That The Four Digits Have Added Up To 12
The new year of 2019 is almost upon us, and a group of mathematics boffins are celebrating that it is the first time for a century that the individual digits of the year have added up to 12! This year - 2018 - the four digits added up to 11, and t...
Read full storyAmazon To Lay Off Staff As Pre-Christmas 'Rush' Doesn't Happen
Amazon, the online shopping retailer, has said that it is facing being forced to make staff at its distribution centers redundant, as online sales for Christmas have fallen way below expected targets. Sales of goods are 28% down on those in the fi...
Read full storyGod convinces Einstein to repent his sins!
Einstein, a dedicated atheist, now in heaven, has been forced to review his doubts about The Holy One. In fact, God has demanded that Einstein repent his sins, kiss His feet, and swear that there is a God, otherwise he will be sent 'downstairs'! A...
Read full storyThe Osmonds Christmas Single Out Next Week
The Osmonds, the flamboyant family pop group from the 1970s, who had scores of hits such as 'Crazy Horses' in 1972, are to release their new Christmas single next week, albeit it a little later than traditional festive releases. The band, which is...
Read full storyBrad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Settle Custardy Battle
Movie stars Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, whose marriage ended in a split in 2016, have ended their custardy battle in agreement, reports the Spoof. Pitt and Jolie - commonly referred to by fans as 'Brangelina' - have six children aged between 10...
Read full storyPogues Christmas Hit 'Fairytale Of New York' Comes Onto LGBT Radar
Christmas, the time of year when families get together and celebrate, and love and happiness is shared throughout the community, is almost upon us once again, and, to mark this festive season, the LGBT community is demanding that The Pogues song, 'Fa...
Read full storyMel Gibson and O.J. Simpson Visit Bill Cosby in Prison
SCI Phoenix, Pennsylvania Mel Gibson and O.J. Simpson have both visited convicted rapist and one-time comedian Bill Cosby. Spoke Gibson, "I have to admit, I never really liked Bill until all this secret drink stuff came up. And then, when I found...
Read full storyKanye West, Kid Rock, Ted Nugent and Sarah Palin To Throw Benefit Concert for Trump
White Settlement, TX President Trump's strongest supporters in the entertainment world have announced that they will have a benefit concert in support of the president. They will donate 2% of the profits to the Trump Defense Fund they know will be fo...
Read full storyG20 Summit Hears That Global Warming Is Good News For Marine Animals
Delegates at the G20 summit in Buenos Aires watched and listened in a hypnotized silence this afternoon, as they were informed by a mystery speaker that, contrary to popular opinion, Global Warming is actually a good thing - for all the creatures tha...
Read full storyNASA Explains InSight Probe And All Other Space Exploration
NASA officials have defended the space agency's InSight probe to discover the interior structure of Mars, after facing pointed criticism, earlier in the week, that the project was an "astronomical waste of money". The landing on the surface of Ma...
Read full storySanta May Just Kill Us All
Paris -- During the latest Paris Climate Accord convention, few countries escaped the scathing criticism of environmentalists seeking to quell the effect fossil fuels are having on Earth's climate, but one continent in particular -- the North Pole --...
Read full storyBoy Sniffed Bicycle Seat
Several people in the Hull area have made verbal statements to the effect that, back in 1976, they witnessed a schoolboy sniffing a bicycle seat. The incident happened at Sydney Smith High School, Anlaby, near Hull, and was seen by numerous 'frien...
Read full storyHuawei exec Meng Wangzhou flees to Ecuador embassy in Vancouver
Reports indicate President Moreno of Ecuador, sitting at his desk, snapped his pencil on hearing of a new asylum seeker at an Ecuador embassy. He is rumored to have said: "At least she’s rich.” This time it’s Meng Wanzhou, 46, CFO of Chinese te...
Read full storyListening Repeatedly To Dominique A, Made Man Speak English With French Accent
An Englishman who listened incessantly to the music of French artist, Dominique A, started to speak English as if he, himself were French - complete with a French accent! Travelling on a Finnair flight back to Manchester in 2012, Moys Kenwood scan...
Read full storyTwo White Guys, a Black Guy, and a White Girl Debuts Monday Night
The NBS network is getting ready to roll out a new sitcom Monday night called "Two White Guys, a Black Guy, and a White Girl." "Two White Guys, a Black Guy, and a White Girl" is about four friends living in the Big City trying to navigate through...
Read full storyHuawei CFO Meng Wanzhou Is A Bit Tasty!
And, before we set off on the wrong foot, this is not some humorous reference to 'authentic Chinese food', just so you know. Meng Wanzhou, the Chief Financial Officer at Chinese communications giant, Huawei, who is 46 years old, was detained by th...
Read full storyMedical Association Declares Eggs are Bad, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays
The Association of Super Intelligent Doctors and Scientists has revealed the findings of a 3 billion-dollar, 20-year study. The research concluded that eating eggs on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays is bad for the health. The chief of cardiolog...
Read full storyMan Buys Black-And-White TV Set
A man who craves the return of 'the good old days', took a step down that path at the weekend, when he bought a black-and-white television set from an old woman who wanted rid of it, for £10. Moys Kenwood, 55, of Hull, is easily old enough to be a...
Read full storyO2 Network Collapse Causes Chaos
Millions of customers were unable to access their mobile data today when the O2 network suddenly stopped working due to "technical problems". The company did not specify what the problems were, but suffice to say that they were technically technic...
Read full storyMan Watched 'Das Boot', And Felt As If He Were Suffocating
A man who watched a movie about a World War II submarine and its crew, has revealed how he started to feel claustraphobic, and had trouble breathing, at certain points in the film. Moys Kenwood, 55, purchased a 2-DVD copy of Wolfgang Petersen's cl...
Read full storyNashville Man Resolves to Find True Resolve in 2019
After a lifetime of hemming, hawing, and beating around all kinds of bushes, Christian Caldwell of Nashville, Tennessee, has resolved to find true resolve by - or at least during - the New Year. “No two ways about it," said Christian, his resolve...
Read full storyBuzzcocks' Pete Shelley And The Fall's Mark E. Smith To Have A Pint And Form Supergroup
Pete Shelley, the Buzzcocks frontman, is to form a supergroup with Mark E. Smith of The Fall, who died in January. Shelley - real name Peter Campbell McNeish - was 63, and died of a suspected heart attack at his home in Estonia on Thursday. He and...
Read full storyA celebrity with a heart as big as his bank account (well, almost)
Actor Tom Banks, whose net worth is estimated at $350 million, give or take a million, played Santa Claus at an N-n-Out Boogers in Fontana, Californicate, treating his fans to a free lunch. “Order anything you want,” he told his devotees. “Money i...
Read full storyRussia Is Behind Gatwick Drones
The police investigation into the unauthorised drone activity at Gatwick Airport went 'two steps back' today, when a man and a woman arrested on Saturday were released without charge. Russia has emerged as the new suspect. The drone, which was...
Read full storyParty Time as Makers of Viagra, Chapstick and Sensodyne Toothpaste Combine
"It's a no-brainer. Who wouldn't want to sell all the ingredients for the after-party? Viagra for that long lasting erection, along with Sensodyne for oral health, and Chapstick to moisten those dry, cracked lips. We also do Panadol for the hangover,...
Read full storyRedskins subvert local laws by becoming a federally recognized Native American tribe
The NFL is finding it increasingly difficult to purge itself of domestic abuse perpetrators after the Redskins became a federally recognized Native American tribe under the U.S. Bureau of Indian affairs. The current land designated to the Redskins i...
Read full storyNASA creates a time machine for exploration
LOGIC NEWS: NASA has released the first images of data collected from the Spectra 1 and Spectra 2 time rovers sent into the future 3.2 million years from now. Spectra 1 was sent to Mars while Spectra 2 was sent to Earth. The time rovers successfu...
Read full storyJamal Khashoggi Officially Forgotten About
Jamal Khashoggi, the murdered dissident journalist who was so savagely slain in the Saudi Arabian consulate in Istanbul on 2 October, has been officially forgotten about, it can be revealed. Khashoggi, who had only gone to the consulate to get som...
Read full storyGlobus militaris interruptus wreaks tsunami-like havoc in Washington
President Trump’s decision to withdraw from Syria and drawdown in Afghanistan, has the nation’s capitol in a near state of paralysis. Even FOX News has turned on the President with accusations he is “refounding ISIS.” A hullabaloo of protest ha...
Read full storyPolice Arrest Gatwick Drone Operator
Police at Gatwick Airport have made an arrest in connection with the drone that have grounded 765 flights and caused a shutdown of the facility over the last three days. Timmy Smith, aged 9, was taken to a police station early this morning after...
Read full storyRetirement-eligible committee of mainly old geezers fondly remembering their glory days yield lower-than-expected College Football Playoff® T.V. ratings
(The Unassociated Press) - The interested T.V. audience for the College Football Playoff ®™ dropped significantly from last season, due to a systemic failure by executives to recognize good entertainment value. Data analysis suggests that the win...
Read full storyMan Has Opened New Pack Of Chocolate Biscuits
News has just reached The Spoof that a man who believes that chocolate biscuits are the best thing since sliced bread - possibly even before that - has opened a brand new 300gram pack of McVitie's Plain Chocolate Digestive biscuits "in the last few d...
Read full storyGod Has Had Enough! It's The End Of The World!
After further volcanic eruptions at Krakatoa, and Monday's 'unrest' at Mount Etna in Sicily, it's been confirmed that God has had just about as much as he can stand, as has decided to put a stop to it all, with the End of the World. Last week's un...
Read full storyBill Cosby Is Santa Claus As Christmas Pantomime Season Gets Going
Former US comedian, Bill Cosby, now incarcerated for between 3 and 10 years for rape, has been getting into the Christmas spirit behind bars, and earlier today visited fellow inmates in their cells, dressed as Santa Claus. As the pantomime season...
Read full storyPresident Trump Christmas Album Out Thursday
US President Donald Trump has, this morning, revealed in a tweet that he is to break into the music industry "with a purpose" by releasing a Christmas album that is available from Thursday. The album features various Trump speeches recorded over t...
Read full storyDark Matter "Needs to Lighten Up" Says Head of CERN
"C'est un travail de merde" said normally mild mannered Monsieur Jacques Trounoir, Head of Operations for the Large Hadron Collider at CERN in conversation with The Spoof's European Editor, Plagny Toxique. "We at CERN proved the existence of Higgs bo...
Read full storyNazis Sponsoring Nordic Walking Exercise Equipment?
A TV advertisement for a 'Nordic Walking' exercise machine involving several supremely fit-looking individuals whose healthy, energetic and confident demeanor resembled that of some sort of 'Master Race', has attracted the attention of a man in Tapon...
Read full story"Baby Jesus Would Adore Globalist Authoritarians"
VATICAN, ROME - Pope Francis provided a "casual response" to journalists after being asked about "Migrants" and the Border Policy of the United States. Democrats in the US Congress embarked on an "All-Christmas-Long" Media Blitz on how the "Religion...
Read full storySanta Claus Hates Mince Pies
On the eve of the most widely-celebrated Christian festival of the year, the main focal point of the event, Santa Claus, has spoken out about one of the things he hates most about it - mince pies. Parents of young children everywhere have, down th...
Read full storyMan Read Alexander Solzhenitsyn's 'Cancer Ward', And Began To Feel 'Ropey'
A man who read a copy of the Alexander Solzhenitsyn classic, 'Cancer Ward', has revealed how, whilst reading the book, he started to feel distinctly unwell. The book, a classic amongst Russian literature, was written in 1966, and was censored by t...
Read full storyMan Begrudgingly Went To Xmas Party, But Ended Up Being The Life And Soul Of It
An office clerk in New York who was not in the right frame of mind to enjoy himself at the firm's annual Christmas party, eventually gave in to the overwhelming pressure of his friends and went along. Ed Reeperbahn, 26, an accountant at Stronk and...
Read full storyApes Will Speak English, Say Scientists
Apes will soon be able to develop sufficiently to converse with humans, say expert animo-lingusitic experts, and will almost certainly speak English. Members of the ape family have long been known to resemble humans in many other areas, and their...
Read full storyCurious Entity Defies Any Kind Of Classification
An entity that used to be a human male has spoken out about its choice to 'self-alienate', and to escape any kind of classification or categorisation aside from 'it'. The entity, or 'it', has shed its name, thrown away its birth certificate, and d...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus And Liam Hemsworth Split
Showbiz couple, Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth, who were only married on Sunday, have already split, and are to divorce early in the New Year, it has been rumored by me, just now. Cyrus, who is a pop star, and Hemsworth, who is an Australian, repo...
Read full storyDora The Explorer Accused Of Poor Personal Hygiene
Children's TV star, Dora the Explorer, is at the center of a huge row this morning, after being criticised by parents about never changing her clothes. Dora, who shot to stardom in 2000, has always worn a pink T-shirt, orange shorts, yellow ankle...
Read full storyActor Had His Face Chewed Off By Tiger Before The 9pm TV Watershed
An actor in a TV drama involving a man who sometimes changes into a white tiger, had his face gnawed off last night, despite the fact that, in many countries, this would have been before the 9 o'clock watershed. Thing is, in Cambodia, there are ma...
Read full storyGalapagos Twitchers In A Flap At FBI Grand Jury Subpoena
Galápagos Islands, Ecuador - (Agencies, Associated Mess): There are reports this weekend that FBI Special Counsel Robert Mueller has subpoenaed a dozen indigenous Ecuadorian ‘bird watchers’ in the ongoing Rump Golden Showers Witch *unt probe. Pap...
Read full storyMan's Nose Wouldn't Stop Running
An unexpected change in the weather conditions caught one man unawares this week, and the cold he got caused his nose to run all day long, and at the most inconvenient of times. Moys Kenwood, 55, of Tapon, woke on Friday morning with a runny nose...
Read full storyNashville Musician Wonders if He Might Be a Little Self-Centered
Nashville musician Corndog Kramer, front man for the classification-resistant indie band Existential Insomnia, recently wondered if the adulation and praise lavished upon him by the discerning music aficionados who truly get his stuff, together with...
Read full storyFDA Urges Americans to Keep Health Goals Aspirational
With the New Year and its associated array of resolutions fast approaching, the Food and Drug Administration has urged Americans contemplating losing weight and getting in shape to keep their health and fitness goals aspirational. “People have the...
Read full storyO.J. Simpson, Mike Tyson, Denny McClain, and Pete Rose Start Prisoner Reform Group
Calling a press conference at the Las Vegas Hilton, four sports stars who spent time in the slammer made an historic announcement--they were going to work to help others like them walk the straight and narrow. "We, we, uh, we just wanta help those...
Read full storySandi Toksvig Is Paid Only 40% Of What Stephen Fry Got For QI, But Is This Too Much?
Sandi Toksvig, the presenter of intellectual TV game show, QI, after taking over from former host, Stephen Fry, has spoken out to an audience, moaning that she is "only paid 40% of what Stephen was getting." The audience, it must be noted, was at...
Read full storyNew "MiB" Film Set to Break Box-office With Cutting-Edge Tech
Columbia Pictures and Amblin Entertainment are banking on a new, controversial technology for their latest film release, Men in Black: International. The much-anticipated fourth installment in the blockbuster franchise features a fresh A-list cast,...
Read full storyUpdated Version of Electronic Ouija Board Fails to Produce Terrifying Ghostly or Demonic Activity
Platteville, WI. KRIMCO's newly released electronic Ouija Board failed to impress a local resident who purchased the device with the sincerest hope that using it would cause frightening spiritual events to occur. With everything he had learned...
Read full storyCatholic Priest Was "Only Joking" About Boy's Suicide
A Catholic priest who shot his big, fat, stupid mouth off at a boy's funeral, about how suicide will anger God and prevent a dead person's soul from entering heaven, has said he was only joking. Father Don LaQuesta (not real name, but nearly) was...
Read full storyMelania Trump Faces Indictment on Witchcraft
WASHINGTON DC - Representatives for the FBI have announced that First Lady Melania Trump may be implicated on capital crimes related to Witchcraft and Russian Collusion in the 2016 US Presidential Election. Although a large number of law enforcem...
Read full story2019 To Be Much The Same As 2018
The New Year, 2019, is likely to be very much the same as its direct predecessor, 2018, it's been claimed by analysts who have been studying 'the signs'. Contrary to popular belief, goes the claim, one period of time is no more likely to be any be...
Read full storyLakers' LeBron James will Return to Cavaliers
Staples Center, Los Angeles. Magic Johnson, head of basketball operations for the Los Angeles Lakers, has reportedly reached a secret deal with the Cleveland Cavaliers sending NBA superstar LeBron James back to Cleveland before the end of the current...
Read full storyProsecutors look the other way in Seagull case
La La Land—Prosecutors in La La Land (aka Los Angeles) announced that martial arts expert and occasional “actor” Steven Seagull will not be prosecuted for a 2002 sexual assault he (allegedly) committed against a former model. According to the mode...
Read full storyFootball: Big Match Preview
With the League title looking like it will be the most open it has been for a long, long time, two of the top contenders meet up this weekend in what is sure to be a crunching battle between fierce rivals who still have several scores to settle. B...
Read full storyBritish publications high on their own intestinal gases blur the news
It is a known but largely secret fact that many people enjoy sampling their own intestinal gases when in convenient circumstances. Not surprising, this aspect of humanity has led to academic studies. Professor Federico Schmellini, Harvard Unive...
Read full storyTrump bromance with Putin hits the skids
In Argentina for the annual G-20 conference, Mr. Trump is reported avoiding Mr. Putin after cancelling any official meeting between them. Analysts probing this response remind that in the 2016 campaign Mr. Trump had been enthusiastic about Mr. Put...
Read full storyLast Night's TV: Make Me a Dealer
Popular daytime telly favourite, Make Me a Dealer, returns to our screens this week. The show, hosted by amiable host Mart Paulin, pits two aspiring drug dealers against each other. The two contestants, Dwayne Trutter a former football hooligan and D...
Read full storyGame Of Thrones Leaks Will Infuriate Producers
Fans of HBO drama, Game Of Thrones, have been frantically sweeping the pages of satirical news website, TheSpoof.com, this morning, after it was revealed that details of the final GOT series, which will be shown on Sky Atlantic in April 2019, had bee...
Read full storyPresident Trump - Homeland Security Has Uncovered Mexican Invasion Plan
US Homeland Security has uncovered what it says is a plot to invade US territory by its neighbor, Mexico, and is taking "appropriate action" to thwart this. The 'evidence' has been provided from two sources: the first, from a captured Mexican sold...
Read full storyUniversity students keeping the world safe from comedy
Students at Columbia University pulled the plug on SNL comedian Nimesh Patel in the middle of his set, after organizers deemed his jokes racist and homophobic. The comedian reportedly joked about a gay, black man he knew, saying that being gay canno...
Read full storyCIA Advises Bombing of Saudis Over Khashoggi Death
WASHINGTON DC - Members of the US Congress are receiving a large number of reports from the CIA with information related to the death of Jamal Khashoggi. Senators with special access to these briefings say the evidence is very compelling. Nearly ever...
Read full storyPope Francis To Guest On Jay Z Album
It has been revealed that Pope Francis is to make an appearance on hip hop maestro Jay Z’s new album. Whilst the rapper is known for his willingness to experiment musically, teaming up with the Pontiff would come as a major shock to his millions of f...
Read full storyRaiders May Move to Hawaii, Play in Volcano
With a nod to his late father, Al Davis, son Mark, owner of the Oakland Raiders, is negotiating a deal with Honolulu business and sports interests, that involves moving the Raiders from Oakland to Hawaii next season. That would leave Las Vegas, where...
Read full storyBombshell: Trump Is Done. He's Finished. It's Over.
In a bombshell report first issued just days after the 2016 election and re-emerging today, it looks like Donald J. Trump's presidency is coming to an end. "I've been saying it for two years straight," said several news pundits who have been predi...
Read full storyWorld leaders going incognito with disguise and voice modification in foreign countries
Nervous over developments in the past few days regarding Mr. Trump’s sanctions, world leaders are taking unusual steps to avoid arrest when traveling abroad. Leading the way, Prime Minister Trudeau of Canada has recently traveled to Hong Kong, whe...
Read full storyNew Huggable "Vlad The Impaler" Doll To Be Sold In Stores Soon
Are you lonely? Do you need something to hug at night in order to make you feel safe, warm, and cozy? Are teddy bears just not cutting it anymore? IMPALED recently announced that it will soon be releasing a new huggable "Vlad the Impaler" doll.
Read full storyAre Coincidences Just a Coincidence, Déjà Vu or Imaginary?
You've had the experience. You're on a train en route to a meeting at your office in Liverpool and you're attempting The Observer Everyman crossword but one clue is giving you a problem. You work through it again and just one thing fits - "Port Sunli...
Read full storyRodeo Folk Do The Right Thing
Succumbing to pressure from a community which has grown tired of the exploitation and abuse of animals, the Russian River Rodeo Association has voted 315 to 3 to replace their traditional affair this year with a "Virtual Rodeo." Using mechanical...
Read full storySerial Killer Solves Cold Case
Chester, PA. (WTFM) -- Early this morning, while digging a shallow grave intended to be the final resting place for his latest victim, serial killer Derek Flatt uncovered a shallow grave containing a victim of serial killer, Justin Crabwell. Crabwe...
Read full storyNew York Man Credits Antidepressants with Saving His Life (or at Least Possibly Helping a Little)
Rich Jones of New York City credits anti-depressant medications with saving his life, or at least, possibly helping a little. "Instead of total despair, i now just feel generally blah," reported Rich. "For that, I have these drugs to thank.” R...
Read full storyFootball Gossip: Hibs, Arsenal "Hippy Crack", Tevez, Mourinho?
Hibernian defender Ryan Porteous has denied that head coach Neil Lennon has lost the dressing-room after a run of seven games without a win. Said Porteous "I can categorically confirm that it was still there after morning training". Arsenal player...
Read full storyUsed Condom Found In Christmas Cracker
There was a less-than-festive surprise in store for one man and his girlfriend on Christmas Day, when they pulled a cracker, and out popped a condom - that had already been used! Mick Warble and his fiancé, Donna Jackson, had opened their presents...
Read full storyGambling in Las Vegas or on our knees in the transept. Nuns just wanna have fun!
Two naughty nuns have been spotted gambling in Las Vegas on slot machines and Blackjack tables with money they slipped into their wimples. When asked by their boss, a Papal rep, where in "heaven's name" (get it?) did they get the money from and wh...
Read full storyFootball Gossip: Brendan Rodgers "I was halfway home", Larne FC "Champions League", Mourinho Team Building
Constantly bitching Manchester United coach Jose Mourinho says his team is "far" from being built in his own image as he prepares to face Liverpool at Anfield on Sunday. The United supremo told The Spoof "My team does not sulk, they are not negative,...
Read full storyGiftmas: Making the Holidays Great Again!
Christmas is only a few short days away. People are scrambling around buying those last-second gifts for any loved one they worry might feel scorned if the pile of presents underneath the tree doesn’t feature a tag with their name on it hanging from...
Read full storyModern-Day Scrooge: "Enjoy Your Last Christmas, Suckers!"
BOSTON, MA, CHRISTMAS DAY -- Archibald C. Reilly III, born to a wealthy North Carolina family of tobacco barons in 1932, has spent his eighty-six years on this Earth with the single-minded purpose of accruing a vast amount of wealth. Through a long s...
Read full storyGeorge H W Bush - Best CIA Asset in White House
WASHINGTON DC - With the passing of George H W Bush on November 30th, thousands took time to remember the man he was, and to be thankful for many of the things which he had done. In fact, his accomplishments were so profound that many of the most pow...
Read full storyDrone Stole Boy's Homework
Police are investigating an incident in which a student from a local school alleged that, whilst he was busy doing his homework on Monday night, a drone came through his open bedroom window, and stole the book from under his nose! The incident hap...
Read full storyHillary Clinton and Barack Obama kick off 2020 campaign with Shakespeare on Broadway
Now starring in major roles for Shakespeare’s Anthony and Cleopatra, Ms. Clinton and Mr. Obama have already started in with the 2020 presidential election. The performance is bringing widespread global attention, especially due to several "steamy...
Read full storyQueen's Christmas Speech To Have Subtitles For The First Time
The Queen's Christmas message to her subjects, traditionally broadcast on Christmas Day, will this year benefit from subtitles, in order to provide clarity for more of Britain's ethnic population. The subtitles will be in Urdu, Bengali, Gujarati a...
Read full storyPresident Trump Given Grilling During Kids' Xmas Phone-in
US President Donald Trump got more than he bargained for this morning, when a Christmas Day phone-in with young children didn't exactly go according to plan. Trump and his wife, Melania, were sat in easy chairs in the State Dining Room at the Whit...
Read full storyA Professor Suffers Collapse— Submission Rejection Delirium
Two ER physicians at Gabbert General Hospital in Gabbert, Arizona, huddled over the patient still strapped to a gurney. The white male, approximately Medicare age, had been brought in by ambulance just a few minutes earlier. He was unkempt and clearly in a distressed state. There were no signs of injury or trauma, and his vital signs were good, except for somewhat elevated BP. He had no ID, but he...
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