There were 181 spoof news stories published in April 2018. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
The Saga of Mark Zuckerberg and the Booster Cushion
During his Congressional testimony, Zuckerberg was perched on a booster cushion to, well, give him a boost. In the long hours of testimony he became very attached to the booster cushion, so much so that when his testimony was over, he refused to s...
Read full storyShocker: Hollywood Couple Marries BEFORE Having Kids
UN-BEE-LIEV-ABLE! One perplexed teen proclaimed. "I don't understand this at all," he continued. "Uh, why get married FIRST? That's the question," he said. I mean, if you want kids, shouldn't you have your girlfriend pop out one or two before you...
Read full storyMen can exchange their 'dicks' after successful penis transplantation in US!
Men paranoid with the size of their favorite 'tool', either too big or too small (size doesn't matter at all; thanks Rammstein for that), can now ask for a new one because in the US a successful transplantation has opened the floodgates.. Indian/A...
Read full storyMan Woken Up By Own Fart
A man was stirred from his slumbers in Cambodia last night after hearing a noise which he subsequently realised was his own anus speaking to him through the medium of a fart. Moys Kenwood, an Englishman, was fast asleep when, from the depths of hi...
Read full storyDACA Dogs Sniff Out Illegal Aliens at JFK
Queens, NY - JFK Airport is the first major airport to sniff out illegal aliens. As travelers entering the United States wait to retrieve their luggage, ICE enforcement agents use canines to determine which travelers are illegal immigrants. The pro...
Read full storyMusician Moves to Music City Only to Be Played Like a Song
Lured by promises of a lucrative publishing deal with a major country music label, singer-songwriter Billy Bonner moved to Nashville, Tennessee - a.k.a. Music City - only to find that company executives were less interested in getting his songs playe...
Read full storyNashville Man Makes Yet Another Bad Decision
After a lifetime spent piling up wrongdoings and regrets, 32-year-old Bart Biggs of Nashville, Tennessee, made yet another bad decision. “On the spur of the moment, I did a bunch of coke at a party and blew off a job interview at Vanderbilt the ne...
Read full storyMan Spotted 'Creature' With Two Heads
A man out for an early morning stroll in the remote area of Tapon near Battambang, today told of a sight that he will never be able to 'unsee' - a creature with two heads! The creature was spotted by animal expert, Moys Kenwood, who lives in the a...
Read full storyCan't pay? - We'll take it away! High Court Enforcers demand £1.8 trillion at HM Treasury
High Court Sheriff enforcers have been hired to seize goods to the value of £1,765,287,432,177.59 after creditors lost faith in the UK's ability to service the national debt. Officials have just 24 hours to pay at least £800 billion by chip-and-pi...
Read full storyPainkillers turn hetero men into gay men
Warning. Hot, hunky, hetero studs, who break their arms or legs or feet, are turning 'gay' after swallowing heavy doses of a painkiller called, Lyrica. A Brit ex-hetero, after breaking his foot, who was so hot after the ladies that even his steady...
Read full storyA "Flock of Seagulls" trash hotel room after "Heavy Metal Band" left the building!
After doing several gigs in Canada, a renowned US Heavy Metal Band decided to park up at a seaside resort, luxury hotel, for a few days of R & R, but were warned by the owners; "Do not trash our rooms because Led Zeppelin and The Who stayed here...
Read full storyDeep Blue Something Ex Hates Breakfast at Tiffany’s
The ex-girlfriend of the Deep Blue Something lead singer revealed this week that she actually hates the film Breakfast at Tiffany’s. She only said she liked it because he was being so pathetic trying to hold on to something from their relationshi...
Read full storyCambridge Analytica Behind Satan’s Election to CEO of Heaven
HEAVEN—Cambridge Analytica has some big wins under its belt—Brexit, the election of Uhuru Kenyatta in Kenya, and Donald Trump in the Confederate States of America, but the company pulled off one of its biggest sells just last week, when it rigged an...
Read full storyDaily Mail Fury as new sterling contract goes to Poland when Queen abdicates
A secret cabinet office memorandum has been obtained by political editor Paxton Quigley, which admits that under European Union procurement rules the contract for printing new sterling banknotes will be awarded to the Polish national bank. Paxton...
Read full storyA Day in the life - Tom from Myspace
Hello, You may remember me. You know you do? Tom? Tom from Myspace? I was your friend. I was everyone's friend on Myspace? Myspace? You must remember Myspace? Before Facebook? Before Selfies? Before Trump? Before Brexit? Before the Kardashians? What is wrong with you? Are you some type of Millenial? No, I was important to Generation X'rs. You don't know what a Generation Xr is? No, well a...
Read full storyPutin Demands Trump Fire Mueller
Using the “back channel” line that bypassed US intelligence agencies and was suggested by son-in-law Jared Kushner, Vladimir Putin telephoned his friend at the White House from a Kremlin basement. “Ducky, you have to fire Mueller today. Mueller i...
Read full storyOklahoma Man Dies While Attempting to Kill Time
Brent Hargrave of Tulsa, Oklahoma, was attempting to kill time at his boring office job when time rallied and, in a valiant show of self-defense, slayed the project manager. “I don't think he even saw it coming,” said Hargrave's former co-worker,...
Read full storyPlayer Charged with Illegally Using The Force
A football player claims the opposing quarterback illegally used The Force to alter the outcome of last night’s game. “There’s no question in my mind that The Force made us lose,” said James Tebucky, cornerback for the local football team. Tebuc...
Read full storyBipolar Baby Baffles Psychiatrists
Alarmed by his dramatic mood swings, Nicholas Parker's parents took him to see a child psychiatrist, only to learn that their eleven-week-old baby suffers from bipolar disorder. “It came as a real blow,” admitted Nicky's mother, Shelly. “But at th...
Read full storyNashville Man Awakens to Find Shoe on the Other Foot
Bart Miller of Nashville, Tennessee, recently awakened from a drunken stupor and fumbled for his shoe, only to find it on the other foot. "I'd heard about people getting wasted and doing stupid shit," said Miller, "but it had never happened to me.
Read full storyZuckerberg Explains Facebook to Old Guys
U.S. lawmakers peppered Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg with questions about the social media platform when he testified before the Senate Subcommittee on Grandstanding and Pontificating this week. “Mr. Zuckerberg, there’s something I find very troub...
Read full storyMan Went To Bed Early
There were raised eyebrows in at least one household in the Battambang area last night, when an Englishman living in the locality declared he was "retiring early", and trudged off up the stairs to bed. Moys Kenwood, 54, usually settles down for th...
Read full storyGod sends Chinese junk space lab to planet earth as his Easter message!
A defunct Chinese space lab hurtling back towards the planet is proof there is a god after all! It will arrive on Easter Monday crashing through the outer-atmosphere with a message from our heavenly father attached (A Chinese version) proving tha...
Read full storyHuman sperm sent out by NASA into space is highly toxic and will cause alien destruction!
Aliens living, travelling, and existing without human destructive traits are about to be infiltrated by human sperm sent out into space by NASA! Special, crew-less space vehicles, loaded with the stuff, will be launched in the hope that passing UF...
Read full storyDr Dre 'Struck Off' For Using Excessive Bad Language
American rap star, record producer and medic Dr Dre has incurred the wrath of the US medical community and has been 'struck off' after senior members lost patience with his incessant and excessive bad language. Dre, real name Dr. Andre Young, was,...
Read full storyMan orders 'black' coffee and is arrested for being a racist
Hoping for a quick caffeine boost before heading off to work, a US/Italian man in Philadelphia, ordered a 'black' coffee at a well known, downtown coffee bar and was promptly arrested! Actually, it was not him whom the cops came to arrest. Unfortu...
Read full storySurvey Says Dolphins Well Prepared for Retirement
A new study by the American Banking Association finds that dolphins are better prepared for retirement than most Americans. “Dolphins are incredibly savvy when it comes to saving for retirement,” said Harry Schmedlap, director of sea mammal invest...
Read full storyPolish neighborhood council meets to determine how many people it will take to screw in new LED lightbulbs
The city council of Mosty Poland, a small hamlet outside of Szczecin (most likely pronounced "Shin") set a meeting to discuss the advancements in lightbulb technology. The meeting is expected to focus on the increasingly popular LED bulb. Counc...
Read full storyHorny elephants run riot on Spanish motorway chasing Nelly!
A hoard of horny (not literally, they have tusks) elephants that broke out of a circus caused havoc on a Spanish motorway in Spain. Coincidentally, on the same weekend when raging Spanish bulls chase human morons dressed in red! Although, the male el...
Read full storyHydrogren and Oxygen really only sticking together for the kids
Mike Hydrogen and Kate Oxygen, known throughout the world as the important duo Water, have admitted that they are really only sticking together for the kids. Hydrogren said: 'I always felt I was doing all of the work. There I was, putting in twice...
Read full storyRestaurant Was 'Uncontaminated By Food'
A potential diner was left disappointed and hungry last night, when the Bangkok restaurant, at which he intended to take his répast, told him they were 'out of food', leaving him speechless and dinnerless. Moys Kenwood, 51, had gone to the Big C F...
Read full storyWetherspoon Chairman Denies Quitting Social Media and Shuts Pubs Instead
Today, in a prompt volte-face, JD Wetherspoon’s weirdo chairman Tim Martin, the last living proponent of the mullet, hair style of the gods, informed the stock exchange that, rather than quitting social media as widely reported, his pub chain was to...
Read full storyStormy says three-legged donkey involved
Stormy Daniels has revealed Donald Trump brought a donkey to her Las Vegas hotel room 10 years ago for a fun threesome. "Man that was one ugly ass, and the critter didn't look too good neither 'coz he was missing one leg ya'll". Daniels continued, "Y...
Read full storyMan Astonished By Amount Of Dust That Came Off His Mat
An Englishman living in the Thai capital of Bangkok, has revealed the incredulousness he felt at the amount of dust present on his doormat when he shook it out yesterday. Originally from Hull in East Yorkshire, Moys Kenwood told of his 'shock and...
Read full storyCharleston Woman Finds Success with Intermittent Fasting Between Meals
After years of yo-yo dieting and struggling with her weight, 28-year-old Kendra Burke of Charleston, South Carolina, says that she's found success with intermittent fasting between meals. Intermittent fasting, currently one of the world's most pop...
Read full storyMan Falls After Chasing Cow
There was controversy in Cambodia this afternoon, when a man who was chasing some cows out of his garden slipped and fell on a road, grazing the skin at the back of the top of his leg just underneath his bottom. The cows pass the Battambang home o...
Read full storyElmo feeling sad, says Elmo
Lovable red Muppet, Elmo is sad because Elmo has been told to stop talking in the third person. Elmo doesn't understand this, as Elmo is only a young Muppet, although he has been on the show for years, and knows things about life that even Happy M...
Read full storyThe NFL is set to approve players from space
Due to the waning popularity of the NFL, as well as scandals, the backlash from political correctness, and the loss of general entertainment value, NFL officials are set to allow players from other planets to play. Not everyone is welcoming the mo...
Read full storyElevator Out Of Action For Four Weeks Now
Residents at a condominium in western Bangkok have complained that an elevator that 'had a leak' four weeks ago, has not yet been repaired, meaning that some of them have had to walk upstairs to their rooms, or wait 'forever' for the other lift. D...
Read full storyRocky the Flying Squirrel hammers away at Dr. Jackass and Mr. Hide unmercifully
The progressive and liberal news game has become almost as bad as reality show TV. Yes, it is one long tirade after another and the worst thing about this moshpit are the sock puppet trolls who lambaste everyone who takes the day off a real job to wr...
Read full storyMouse Became Stuck On Glue Trap
There was a shock in store for a Cambodian mouse last night, as it became stuck on a 'glue trap' that had been left for it, and was unable to escape. The mouse - and possibly others like it - had been scurrying about the roofspaces of a house in...
Read full storyMasturbation Study Results Published
The results of a year-long study on the ancient art of masturbation have been published in this month's completely fictitious science magazine 'Quirky Science Monthly'. Science students at Manchester University recorded data produced by 1,100 part...
Read full storyBus Driver Was Nutter
A bus driver in the Thai capital of Bangkok has been described as "a nutter" after he drove his decrepit vehicle "'wildly" and "without aforethought" through the streets of the city in a manner unbefitting of a responsible professional public servant...
Read full storyEarth Day celebrated around the world
It's Earth Day again, and people are trying to find novel and exciting uses for that boring grey substance that surrounds us - earth, which is also called soil. At Chaffinch St Cock, a gigantic Earth Parade was held to celebrate earth through the...
Read full story"Flocks of Belgian seagulls" given birth control pills!
Belgians, normally regarded as quite level-headed, sensible Europeans, have broken that myth by feeding their seagulls contraceptive pills! Seagulls, quite renowned for their productive, and multiplication qualities, have been recently over-doing...
Read full storyWinnie Mandela Obituary
Winnie Mandela, the manager of the Mandela United Football Club, has died. Madikizela-Mandela (to give her her full name), 81, the fraudulent, corrupt, kidnapping instigator of murder, who was also the former wife of anti-apartheid activist and ca...
Read full storyLife Continues to Get “Bettor and Bettor” for Gambling Addict
Calvin Jones, a self-identified gambling addict, says that his life continues to get “bettor and bettor” as he continues to discover new and exciting things on which to wager. As a former semipro baseball player, Cal explained that he initially gr...
Read full story86 ft sea monster found on Brit beach has same DNA as Boris Johnson!
Scientists analysing huge, ancient bones, found on a Brit beach, have discovered something quite amazing! It seems the DNA in the bones, that belonged to a huge Jurassic sea monster, has the same DNA as the present UK foreign minister, BOJO! "Ther...
Read full storyMan Felt Cheated Over Dating Site Promise
A man who clicked on a link to a dating site in order to meet a girl he had seen in an advert, claimed today that he felt 'cheated' when he didn't get to meet the girl, even though a caption told him: "meet her now''. The man - whose identity has...
Read full storyNashville Man Accidentally Puts Jacket on Backwards
When Brian Johnson's wife called to him on his way out of the house and mentioned that it was cooler outside than it looked, Johnson grabbed a jacket, only to accidentally put it on backwards. “I felt like such a retard,” stated Johnson. Johnso...
Read full storyMark Zuckerberg Testifies to Congress that He Has No Real Friends Other than Facebook Friends
In an uncomfortable and often highly contentious session with Congress this past week, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg finally admitted that he has no real friends, other than his “friends” on the social media site that he founded. “Honestly, it's wh...
Read full storyAirports relabeling “Animal Relief Areas”
UN, New York, NY - Samir Braseer Alahumpidad, chairman of UNFART (United Nations Flying Animal Relief Travelers), held a press conference behind the UN building today at noon, holding the leash of his companion support dog as it relieved itself on th...
Read full storyDissatisfied Coffee Shop Customer Decides to Take His Business Elsewhere
Dissatisfied with the wait-time for a cup of coffee to go at his (formerly) regular neighborhood coffee shop, Bean Stop, New York City resident Dan Foley recently decided to take his business elsewhere. “There were three people in line ahead of me...
Read full storyFans’ Favourite Joey Barton Appointed as Fleetwood Town Head Coach
English football was over the moon yesterday as it was announced that former bad boy, Joey Barton will become the new manager of League One side Fleetwood Town this summer - one day after his ban for match betting ends on 1st June. Fleetwood chairman...
Read full storySwimming BANNED at the Jersey Shore in 2018
Governor Murphy announced he will be signing the Bill passed last week by the Democratic lawmakers in New Jersey to ban swimming at all beaches on the Jersey Shore this year. House Bill 1916 was passed through both Houses last Thursday. Spe...
Read full storySurprisingly, study by scientists finds that muscular men make the worst boyfriends
A study by scientists has found that the type of men that used to bully them in school make the worst type of boyfriend. 'Yes' said Leonard Oxygen 'it may look like sour grapes, but we have found, scientifically, and factually, that science and fa...
Read full storySuper Bowl Sunday May Now Be Called "Rat Meat Sunday"
Super Bowl LIII will be played in Atlanta, Ga., at Mercedes-Benz Stadium. It's a brand-new stadium, which means it should be a good one. Let's hope so, anyhow. Meantime: Let's go out to the ball game, let's go out with the crowd. Buy me some p...
Read full storyTrump Awarded Honorary Degree by University of Phoenix
Last week, the widely-reputed online educational institution the University of Phoenix awarded President Donald Trump an honorary Bachelor of Arts degree in Sociology. “I'm thrilled,” stated President Trump. “Private online education is the wave o...
Read full storyInvisible Russian spies attack the UK with 'Baked Beans!'
After the shocking poison attack in Salisbury by Russian agents, who nobody has found, seen, or even proof that they did it, Putin has ordered his invisible agents to attack Brits with their favorite food, Baked Beans! The first attack was on a ca...
Read full storyComey Wakes Up To Find Horse's Head In His Bed.
BILLINGSGATE POST: The scene opens with James Comey’s wife waking up and poking him on the shoulder, “James, I think we have company in our bed.” “Go back to sleep honey. You must be dreaming.” “James, there’s a f**king horse’s head nex...
Read full storyMan Dropped Litter Under Policeman's Nose
A man walking with friends along the main Suksawat Road near to soi 17, in the Thai capital of Bangkok last night, was seen to drop litter - a crisp packet - onto the footpath 'without a second thought', it has emerged. The incident happened in f...
Read full story"Woody Woodpecker" Goes Straight to DVD, Shockingly
Recently, film buffs were taken with surprise to see DVD ads for the 2017 film Woody Woodpecker. It is quite clear from the preview that we are dealing with a cinematic masterpiece. The film delivers a powerful environmental message as the titular bi...
Read full storyYorkshire farmer decides to breed seals instead of sheep claiming he's not a 'sheepshagger!'
Ramblers strolling the rolling hills of the Yorkshire Dales expecting to experience the legacies of the Bronte Sisters, Heathcliffe, James Herriot, and the Yorkshire Ripper,(Yes there are tourists who love a bit of bloody Yorkshire horror too with th...
Read full storySpurs' Harry Kane In Hot Water With Girlfriend
Harry Kane, the Tottenham and England footballer, was in hot water with his girlfriend after he swore on his daughter's life that he scored his side's second goal during their 2-1 victory over Stoke City on Saturday. The Premier League goals accre...
Read full storyMichael Cohen publishing book: The Art of the Squeal!
OMG Publishing of Omaha, Nebraska, announced today that it is the publisher of a new book by embattled Trump attorney Michael Cohen. The book, The Art of the Squeal! In a press conference this morning a spokesman for OMG said he was speaking in th...
Read full storyCarnivorous Weightlifter Finds a "Vegan" Diet that Works for Him
Eight months ago, 380-pound competitive powerlifter Craig Ramey, in a quest to pack on more muscle, adopted an entirely carnivorous diet, consisting solely of meat and eggs, occasionally coupled with cheese. That, together with a rigorous steroid reg...
Read full storyEinstürzende Neubauten Booked To Perform Before FA Cup Final
German industrial band Einstürzende Neubauten, famous for their inventive use of scrap metal and building tools to make 'music', have been booked to perform at Wembley Stadium before this year's FA Cup final between Manchester United and Chelsea.
Read full storyNew York Woman Successfully Plays It Cool During Unexpected Encounter with Long-Time Hero
New York woman Kim Perry successfully played it cool when, during a stop into a favorite neighborhood coffee shop, she ended up in line behind a famous and incredibly handsome actor whom she's greatly admired for years. Perry said that even though...
Read full storyValerie Thighborg allowed to visit Julian Assange using sign language only
The embassy where Mr. Assange has been sheltered since 2012 has been jamming his communications and has not allowed visitors. Until Ms. Thighborg’s arrival, that is. Ms. Thighborg first met Mr. Assange as an investigator with the Swedish prose...
Read full storyCommonwealth Games Shock as England Tiddlywinks Player Is Sent Home
In a hastily convened press conference at the Commonwealth Gold Coast games today, the Me Too Movement, assisted by Femen activists, told how they had been investigating a catalogue of abuse by English number one tiddlywinker and Balham’s former “art...
Read full storyCouncil meets to discuss the possibility of a meeting to discuss the number of meetings they have
Councillors in Chutney on the Fritz have met, at tax-payers expense to discuss the possibility of organising another meeting about the number of meetings they have. Councillor Money-Tree told us, ‘Yes, it is true. Whilst most normal people would h...
Read full storyTrump Club Proves Bonding Experience for Diversely Bigoted Florida Family
Attending meetings of the St. John's County chapter of the national pro-president group known as The Trump Club has proven a true family bonding experience, say the diversely bigoted members of the Jenks family of St. Augustine, Florida. The Jenk...
Read full storySlime Ball Comey Compares Trump's Hands To Anthony's Weiner
BILLINGSGATE POST: With his baby-blues peering into the camera like two piss holes in a snow bank, and him furtively squeezing off popcorn farts that had George Staphylococcus' eyes watering, James Comey attempted to answer the questions posed by th...
Read full storyCommonwealth Games Roundup: Australian Women Come Top
The 2018 Commonwealth Games in Australia’s Gold Coast certainly lived up to their unofficial title of the “over-friendly games” in the athletes’ village with the home team’s women proving their strength in sprints, long distance and team events. It w...
Read full storyPutin denies Soccer World Cup to be played in Russia
In breaking news, the Kremlin has denied reports that the soccer World Cup will be staged in Russia in June this year. Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Laughitoff, speaking from the Kremlin Nerve Agent Denial Directorate, commented "We reject this...
Read full storyXenomorph rejected from another job, again
Diane Smith, a Xenomorph, best known for a fleeting appearance in the Alien: Resolution film has spoken about being rejected for another job. The eight foot tall alien, who bleeds acid, and has an unfortunate habit of incubating her offspring with...
Read full storyPentagon Admits Spending 79 Trillion Dollars On Hookers And Blow
In honor of Earth Day, Pentagon officials decided to tell the American people the truth for once. In a special report that was temporarily declassified for only 24 hours, the Supreme Commander of the Armed Forces admitted that most of money supp...
Read full story12 Hilarious Things Everybody Does
Over here at Back and to the Left news we are very, very busy people so bust in fact we can’t always come up with our own ideas for articles. So we take ideas from others. It’s not stealing as such more a re-appropriation of concepts from less talented writers and giving said ideas access to a larger global audience. With this in mind we went through MSN news and found the article “40 Hilarious...
Read full storyMan Finds Cockroach In Strawberry Yoghurt
A man in the Thai capital of Bangkok has related how he found something he hadn't expected in his morning pot of strawberry yoghurt. Moys Kenwood, 48, originally from Hull in East Yorkshire, bought the 'healthy-bacterial' treat from the Tang Hua S...
Read full storyCharleston Nurse Decides to Become Aspiring Author
Kendra Burke, a full-time nurse in Charleston, South Carolina, recently decided to become an aspiring author - which, she explained, has more to do with personal potential and possibility than with external accomplishment or even action. "I'm not...
Read full storyBiggest 'wasters' of UK time revealed in survey and BOJO tops the list!
A survey revealing what Brits hate the most about 'time wasters' has come up with some strange, quirky dislikes appearing! So, Jaggedone has analysed the survey and here is the real top 10 of UK 'Wasters of time': 1) King of UK wasters is BOJO,...
Read full storyDavid Hogg: 5 Fast Facts You Need to Know
1. David Hogg Aspires To Be a Professional Anarchist and is mentoring under Al Chomsky. 2. He Appeared in a California Video that Went Viral because he was wearing a Unicorn Onsie and dancing in a LGBT stage show 3. Hogg Frequently Posted Videos and Updates about Himself pretending to be Hillary Rodham Clinton After She was Supposed to be President. 4. His Father, Boss Hogg, Is a Retired...
Read full storyMan Makes Excellent Point on Neighborhood Listserv
During a not-so-neighborly discussion on their neighborhood Listserv, Ken Campbell of Red River, Tennessee, made an excellent point in response to people's complaints about certain residents' hyper-political Listserv posts. “Why do you read them i...
Read full storyRobert Mueller's Hollywood Access Moment
Robert Mueller, overheard talking to Billy Bush while exiting a Hollywood Access bus: “I’m moving on him, and I’m succeeding. I will try to fuck him. He’s married, you know—three times. But I’m moving on him very heavily. In fact, I took hi...
Read full storyNew Study Reports that People Aren't Eating Nearly Enough Seaweed
A new study recently published by the Joint Center for Nutrition and Oceanics recently reported that people aren't eating nearly enough seaweed. “It's alarming,” stated JCNO Director John Griebel. “We'd assumed that most Americans were consuming s...
Read full storyUS Border Police Concerned As Last Of Mexicans Crosses Border Into US
There was concern at the US-Mexico border this morning after it was revealed that the last of Mexico's 165 million-plus inhabitants had just crossed the frontline into the US, leaving the Central American country empty. An internal search of Mexic...
Read full storyRoyal Baby Is A Lizard
The newborn son of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge is a lizard. That's the amazing claim that's been made by one-time Hereford United goalkeeper and BBC TV presenter David Icke, who went mad in the 1990s. Icke made his comment after the Duke...
Read full storyJuli Briskman To Sue Over Donald Trump 'Insult Mistake'
US President Donald Trump and his government are to face legal action from the woman who gave him 'the finger', Juli Briskman, in a landmark case. Briskman, who lost her job as a result of Trump having her sacked, was out riding her bicycle in Nor...
Read full storyExposed! Trump Administration Actually Latest Version Of Big Brother!
The world is reeling from the revelation that the Trump White House administration is, in reality, the newest version of Big Brother! The global phenomenon which is broadcast in over 54 franchise countries and regions was bound to reach the Americ...
Read full storyNikki Haley to be offered up as one of Mr. Trump’s options on the table
Following the triumph of his recent missile launch on Syria, President Trump has offered a new, magnanimous gesture to the world in his “pursuit of world peace.” Accompanied by a bevy of early morning tweets, Mr. Trump indicates that from his many...
Read full storyThe Metaphysical Misappropriation of Love
“God is love,” I heard more than once on a fairly intelligent discussion of religion in people’s lives on NPR. The claim, echoed by several guests on the show, was made by one speaker, in particular, to distinguish the God of the New Testament f...
Read full storyTrump breaks free of his Russian programming. Issues brief statement.
The question of whether President Trump is some kind of Manchurian Candidate subject to Russian mind control has long been a subject of speculation among some Americans. Well Thursday night the whole country got their answer. Under hypnosis Preside...
Read full storyAdministration effort to replace cabinet with Trumpbots suffers setback
Frustrated with their unreliability, disloyalty and inability to fully buy in and implement his agenda, President Trump is pushing his advisors and cabinet officials aside. But even the tireless chief executive Trump knows he can’t go it alone. The...
Read full storyThe Great Tee Shirt Outrage
Okay, this is one of those things that make me an elitist snob. Even so, perhaps you’ll understand my befuddlement and slight consternation. So there was a young lady who seemed nice enough, a little peculiar maybe. But I was cheered to see she was wearing a Bob Marley tee shirt, since I am always glad to see a young person whose taste in music goes back further than Iggy Azalea and Justin Bie...
Read full storyHeathen Teens Struggle to Find Appropriate Expressions of Shock and Dismay
Heathen teens, like seventeen-year-old Portia Johnson of Nashville, Tennessee, are increasingly struggling to find appropriate expressions of shock and dismay since the standard go-tos, like “Oh my God!” and even “Holy shit!” just don't align with th...
Read full storyVice President Pence Announces NASA Mission to Find Heaven
Vice President Mike Pence recently announced the next life-changing NASA mission: determining the precise whereabouts of heaven. Pence, a convert to evangelical Christianity from Roman Catholicism, told faith-based supporters, “To me, the final f...
Read full storyYouTube Gunwoman Was Pretty Angry About Something
The Northern California head office of YouTube was itself in the news yesterday, after being stormed by a gunwoman who wounded at least three people when she fired several shots out of a gun she was carrying. The gunwoman later gunned herself to d...
Read full storyCommonwealth Games Anger as Scotland Men are Disqualified from Hopscotch Event
In an exclusive interview with our sports editor, Paxton Quigley, Scotland’s Team Manager, Jock MacSporran claimed full responsibility for the dismal failure and eventual disqualification of his men’s team from the hopscotch event at the Gold Coast’s...
Read full storyOpinion: Trump V Syria
US windbag and all round walking political piss take, Donald Trump, has defended his “mission accomplished” tweet after it was ridiculed by actual media outlets. The same outlets Donald keeps claiming are fake. It always seems odd to us that a man with no political qualifications sits in a political job and calls qualified individuals “fake”. Anyway we digress.... Of course Donald authorised ai...
Read full storyGood Poet turns up for Poetry open mike night
There was consternation in Chutney on the Fritz when a fairly decent writer, who doesn't bang on about his poetry on social media turned up for the Words Matter poetry night in the King's Bottom on Wednesday night. Deirdre Rhyming Couplet from the...
Read full storyMan Rejects Mark Zuckerberg Facebook 'Friend Request'
There was further drama in the Facebook - Cambridge Analytica - Mark Zuckerberg controversy this evening, when a writer on satirical news website TheSpoof.com received a 'Friend Request' from the aforementioned Zuckerberg - and rejected it. The wr...
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