BILLINGSGATE POST: With his baby-blues peering into the camera like two piss holes in a snow bank, and him furtively squeezing off popcorn farts that had George Staphylococcus' eyes watering, James Comey attempted to answer the questions posed by the dutiful reporter in a five hour interview that left both liberals and conservatives furious.
Casually dressed in order to convey his softer side, the former Director of the FBI fielded softball questions teed up by Little George to accommodate the towering Lyin' Comey.
George: "What did you think of his necktie?"
Slimeball: "Way too long for my taste."
George: "You investigated Anthony Weiner's laptop. Was he wearing underwear at the time?
Slime Ball: "I wouldn't touch that with a ten foot pole."
George: "What did you think of the size of Trump's hands?"
Slime Ball "They were not as small as I thought. About the same size as Anthony's Weiner"
George: "What about his hair?"
Slime Ball "Looked like an albino raccoon had found a home on his head. Those peering black eyes staring back at me made me feel nauseous. It is very possible that the raccoon was wired."
George "He called you a slime ball. Did that hurt your feelings?"
Slime Ball" No. That's what you might expect from a Mob Boss."
George "A Mob Boss? Do you think he might try to intimidate you by dropping a horse's head on your bed one night like in The Godfather?"
Slime Ball "I hope not. My wife is scared of horses."
George "In the Michael Steele dossier, it was mentioned that Trump was with a couple of Russian hookers who allegedly peed on his bed. Do you think there is any truth to that?"
Slime Ball: "It's possible that it could have happened.”
George: "You are not sure? But didn't you base the FISA warrant on the information in the dossier?"
Slime Ball: "If you can't trust two Russian hookers, who can you trust? Besides, McCabe signed off on that deal."
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