Dissatisfied Coffee Shop Customer Decides to Take His Business Elsewhere

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Tuesday, 17 April 2018

image for Dissatisfied Coffee Shop Customer Decides to Take His Business Elsewhere
Dan Foley feels great about his decision to decided to take his java businessto a more attentive proprietor.

Dissatisfied with the wait-time for a cup of coffee to go at his (formerly) regular neighborhood coffee shop, Bean Stop, New York City resident Dan Foley recently decided to take his business elsewhere.

“There were three people in line ahead of me, and I waited over nine minutes for a cup of coffee,” explained Foley. “You can do the math.”

“It's not the first time that's happened,” he added.

Foley, a daily weekday Bean Stop customer for nearly two years, said that the decision to take his business to another coffee shop didn't come easily to him.

“I enjoy the feeling of being a regular somewhere – that sense of camaraderie you get when the barista looks at you when you walk in and says hey, how you doing,” said Foley. “But at the same time, I can't in good conscience continue to patronize a business that's not doing me – and presumably their other customers – justice.”

While Foley isn't publicizing his Bean Stop boycott, he expects that the family-owned business will take notice that a long-time daily customer is no longer buying his coffee there. And another local coffee shop, right down the street from Bean Stop, just may notice a (slight) boost in profits in upcoming months.

“Roasta Roost is going to be getting some business from Dan Foley from now on,” stated Foley. “I think they'll do me right.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more