Vice President Mike Pence recently announced the next life-changing NASA mission: determining the precise whereabouts of heaven.
Pence, a convert to evangelical Christianity from Roman Catholicism, told faith-based supporters, “To me, the final frontier is the eternal frontier. I am blessed to sponsor this new NASA initiative. Heaven is out there, my friends – and it's time we find it.”
Pence further stated that he, not Trump, will be accompanying NASA astronauts on this mission to heaven. "President Trump wasn't really interested," said Pence. "He has other priorities.
Pence went on, his remarks getting quite personal in nature. "Jerry Lee Lewis has a song about vacationing to heaven, which has always inspired me to push celestial limits. To paraphrase Jerry's words, I'm a big fan of Jesus – and I can only hope that Jesus is a big fan of me.”
The mission will be relatively low-budget, Pence reassured his fiscally conservative supporters, because the astronauts will not need to utilize ultra-modern high-tech equipment. “God will guide us,” he explained.
Pence stated that in honor of the resurrection, the heaven-finding mission will launch shortly after Easter. “I can't wait to show God that I'm willing to take my faith to the next stratosphere,” gushed Pence. “It's going to be something.”