Scientists analysing huge, ancient bones, found on a Brit beach, have discovered something quite amazing! It seems the DNA in the bones, that belonged to a huge Jurassic sea monster, has the same DNA as the present UK foreign minister, BOJO!
"There is no doubt," scientists are saying, "that this monster, a Ichthyosaur, swam the oceans 250 million years ago, and through evolution, crawled up on a UK beach, developed legs and turned into a blond monster-like species that was thought to be extinct until the bones were compared to BOJO's!" Confirming the fact that he is a direct descendant of this ancient, all devouring, ocean monster!
BOJO, refuses to accept the scientific facts and blames the Russians for dumping the bones on UK shores, injected with BOJO's DNA, taken secretly whilst pissed out of his brains on a 'diplomatic' trip to Moscow in a last ditch effort to prove Russia are to blame for their present volatile relationship! However, the vodka changed his mind, so he now blames Merkel instead.
"After all, if they can poison double agents here in the UK, they certainly could have nicked my DNA whilst I was stoned out of my brains in that Moscow 6 star luxury hotel!" He claimed.
Putin refutes any connection with the Jurassic bones found in the UK, but has confirmed that Russian scientists also found bones hidden in Siberian ice similar to those washed up on that Brit beach.
So Brit and Russian scientists have matched the DNA and found there is no doubt BOJO belongs to this species of sea monster that once swam in oceans devouring EU fish stocks! Hence, proving that BOJO's Brexit has historical, fundamental roots and washed up Jurassic monsters are now running the country!
History has a strange way of repeating itself!