The world is reeling from the revelation that the Trump White House administration is, in reality, the newest version of Big Brother!
The global phenomenon which is broadcast in over 54 franchise countries and regions was bound to reach the American White House sooner or later, and now the truth can be revealed.
Namely that Donald Trump, a.k.a. Norwegian actor Frobisher J. Dinklepooper, was never elected, but rather hired as the lead in the most elaborate Big Brother television season ever. Even his Big Brother wife, Melania, isn't his real wife, but rather a former Zsa Zsa Gabor impersonator from Pittsburgh named Ethel Bletch. Dinklepooper has played the roll of 'Donald Trump' for decades, and was shocked to be elected the leader of the Free World.
As for the multiple firings of phony White House personnel like Rex Tillerson, Steve Bannon, Reince Preibus, James Comey, Michael Flynn, and Anothony Scaramucci, they were all simply people that were evicted from the Big Brother White House.
"I kept leaving hints, and nobody picked up on them!" Trump/Dinklepooper said, incredulous. "I mean, come on! Omarosa in the White House?! Well duuhhh! Maybe I should have hired Snooki and The Situation from 'Jersey Shore'!"
Another hint he kept dropping was calling the news media 'fake news'. As it turns out, it was all fake, since they were reporting the events of a scripted television show, as if it were real. Basically, it was like CNN and Fox News reporting the events of 'The Brady Bunch' as if they were real people in the real world.
And his nutty plans, like the wall to keep the Mexicans out of the U.S.?
"Only partly true," the fake President revealed. "They had caught on to that my administration was just an elaborate Big Brother show, and they wanted in to spoil the surprise! They really are the most intelligent people on Earth! Instead, I've pulled the plug myself. I'm done. I'm outta here."
And the reason why Trump/Dinklepooper is quitting? He couldn't handle all of the hate mail he was receiving.
"I'm a nice guy! Very, very sensitive, and the insults and late night jokes took their toll. I had to quit." He added, "And I just couldn't get past the fact that the American people hired an orange-skinned, racist, intolerant buffoon as their president! I mean, come on, people! It wasn't supposed to get this far!"
Once elected, the actor decided to push the envelope and become a loveable, boisterous racist, "Like Archie Bunker or Barney Rubble, but then people actually began to believe what I was spouting! And it was all just a TV show, man! It's just a TV show!"
And Trump/Dinklepooper's future plans?
"Gonna take a break from acting and serve about the S.S. Funaki." Asked what type of Japanese warship that was, the fake world leader clarified, "Oh. no, it's not a warship. It's a cute little garbage scow sailing out of Osaka every Wednesday morning. I'm gonna be the First Mate!"
The White House later revealed that President Sean Spicer would take over as the real President next Monday.