There were 192 spoof news stories published in May 2018. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

A #MeToo Story by a Mermaid

Funny story: A #MeToo Story by a Mermaid

Being the chair of the local Mermaid Public Relations Committee isn't all it's cracked up to be. Like today, for example, I'd like to be out swimming around in the ocean with the other mermaids. Instead I'm tasked with reading the entries of my fellow mermaids to a short story contest by a local magazine and choosing the ones that will proceed to the next round of the competition. The magazine edi...

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"Sex 5 times a day, is not enough!" Claim's 85 year-old Russian nymphomaniac!

Funny story: "Sex 5 times a day, is not enough!" Claim's 85 year-old Russian nymphomaniac!

Too much sex on a daily basis is a disease claim WHO scientists, and have declared the disease to be in the same category as being totally 'bonkers!' Jaggedone, who knows several nympho's, decided to send his star CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army)...

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Bird Shit On Man's Head

Funny story: Bird Shit On Man's Head

A man taking a relaxing stroll along a public footpath at a local golf course in Hull on Saturday evening, received the shock of his adult life when, from a height of approximately 10 metres, a bird shit on his bonce. The man, Moys Kenwood, was wa...

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NASA Says Alien Invasion 'Imminent'

Funny story: NASA Says Alien Invasion 'Imminent'

Representatives of all the world's leading governments have been summoned to an unprecedented emergency summit in Helsinki on Wednesday afternoon, after NASA released a statement which affirms that an alien invasion from space is "imminent". The n...

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Calculator Stopped Working At Critical Time

Funny story: Calculator Stopped Working At Critical Time

A calculator which was being used to 'tot up' a list of figures, stopped working at a critical point yesterday, just as the person using it was about to press the '=' sign. Moys Kenwood, 54, received the 'electronic calculating apparatus' as a Chr...

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Man Furious Over Burnt Corn Flakes

Funny story: Man Furious Over Burnt Corn Flakes

A man eating his breakfast cereal was up in arms this morning after finding two burnt Corn Flakes in his bowl for the second day in succession. Moys Kenwood, 54, revealed how he opened a brand new box of Kellogg's Corn Flakes yesterday morning, a...

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Bitcoin Volatility Won't Put Me Off, Says Moron

Funny story: Bitcoin Volatility Won't Put Me Off, Says Moron

The spectacular crash of the Bitcoin cryptocurrency early this week shook the financial world to its roots, but not all 'investors' were crying in their beer. Arnold Blimp, an 'amateur speculator', first became interested in Bitcoin when it was fi...

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Man Experiences Strange Phenomenon On His Way Home

Funny story: Man Experiences Strange Phenomenon On His Way Home

A man travelling back to his home in Battambang on a motorcycle being ridden by his wife, experienced a strange phenomenon this afternoon, when he noticed that, although one side of the road was wet and had puddles, the opposite side was bone dry!...

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German scientists grow brains to replace ones in politicians heads!

Funny story: German scientists grow brains to replace ones in politicians heads!

Donald Trump's brain is about to be replaced by a version grown in a German lab. The US president doesn't know about the planned operation, but the US senate have approved the move hoping at last some common sense will exit his vile mouth! German...

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HARDCORE! Small Sector of Americans Remain Committed to Extreme Sports like Jogging and Power-Walking

Funny story: HARDCORE! Small Sector of Americans Remain Committed to Extreme Sports like Jogging and Power-Walking

Shrugging off warnings about heat exhaustion, dehydration, and running being hard on the joints, a small but committed sector of the American population continue to cling to their obsession with extreme sports, like jogging and power-walking. “It'...

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President Trump Waxes Philosophical Regarding Gun “Control” and Other Matters

Funny story: President Trump Waxes Philosophical Regarding Gun “Control” and Other Matters

In a rare moment of philosophical reflection, United States President Donald Trump shared with a small circle of parents and teachers pushing for stricter gun control laws his deeply considered views on the matter. “What is 'control,' anyway?” que...

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EVA Air Fork Missing

Funny story: EVA Air Fork Missing

There was 'tension around the table' in one Battambang household on Monday evening, when it was revealed that an airline fork, part of a cherished collection of airline cutlery, had gone missing. The fork - stolen from an EVA Air flight from Bang...

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UK Estate Agents post porno pictures on walls of their 'For Sale' houses!

Funny story: UK Estate Agents post porno pictures on walls of their 'For Sale' houses!

The housing market in the UK is generally regarded as 'totally BONKERS,' and now Estate Agents are 'bonking' up the hype even further by allowing porno pictures hanging on the walls of their houses to be part of the sales pitch! The idea came from...

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Buddhism Rates Plummet as Result of Warning that Sitting Is the New Smoking

Funny story: Buddhism Rates Plummet as Result of Warning that Sitting Is the New Smoking

The number of practicing Buddhists in the United States has plummeted following issuance of the health alarm first sounded by the Mayo Clinic's Dr. James Levine that "sitting is the new smoking." Buddhism encourages a daily practice of meditation or...

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"Pull the Plug!" Taxpayer Group wants Comatose State Pensioner Euthanized

Sacramento, CA. A group of conservative California taxpayers asked a state court to remove all medical support that now keeps a 101-year-old retired state worker alive in a permanent comatose condition. Their request has sparked renewed debate over t...

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Chuck to Star in "Happy Days" Reboot

Funny story: Chuck to Star in "Happy Days" Reboot

Hollywood, CA - The iconic '70s television series Happy Days is back, and jumping the shark once again. The reboot, following the success of several other TV reboots, stars Dublin born Gavan O'Herlihy as Chuck Cunningham. None of the remaining orig...

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Supermarket Mergers, Pacts And Other Such Shit

Funny story: Supermarket Mergers, Pacts And Other Such Shit

There was a swift reaction to the news earlier this week that supermarket giants Asda and Sainsbury were to merge, when several other major players also announced their own intentions to join forces. First to react was Tesco, who revealed that the...

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Louisiana Crawfish Catches on Fast Regarding Festival Supposedly in His Honor

Funny story: Louisiana Crawfish Catches on Fast Regarding Festival Supposedly in His Honor

When first invited to attend the Cajun Crawfish Fest in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, crawfish Caleb Mattingly was extremely gratified to learn that his fellow Louisianans so appreciated his contribution to the eco-diversity of the bayou regions that they'...

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Man Knows Nothing About US Politics

Funny story: Man Knows Nothing About US Politics

A writer on the satirical news website TheSpoof.com has revealed how he 'aches' to write a story on US politics, but is prevented from doing so by his complete lack of knowledge on the subject. Moys Kenwood, 54, says he knows who Donald Trump is,...

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Ivanka Receives North Korean Trademark For "McMuttleys" Dog Burger Franchise

Funny story: Ivanka Receives North Korean Trademark For "McMuttleys" Dog Burger Franchise

BILLINGSGATE POST: The Wall Street Journal reported today that Trump would not answer questions pertaining to a North Korean trademark awarded for the exclusive franchise rights to the new dog burger franchise named "McMuttleys." After taking co...

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"Stumpy legged men aint sexy," claim Cambridge University!

Funny story: "Stumpy legged men aint sexy," claim Cambridge University!

University student fees are horrendously expensive in the UK and, many students find themselves, after leaving university, in impoverished situations because they can't get a decent job. Well is it a wonder after reading the latest nonsensical stu...

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Area Man Doesn’t Know What Bitcoin or Meek Mill is

Funny story: Area Man Doesn’t Know What Bitcoin or Meek Mill is

In a wide-ranging interview at his son’s lacrosse practice, an area man discussed things he has no idea about, like bitcoin. “I have no idea what bitcoin is or why people talk about it,” he said. “I’m a 50- year old man and it’s just something I d...

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Flat Earth Society plan mission to Mars

Funny story: Flat Earth Society plan mission to Mars

The Flat Earth Society has grown in popularity in recent years, as the chronic underfunding of education starts to bite, and civilisation begins its inevitable decline back to the Stone Age. Prominent Flat Earthers include Kanye West, Jacob Rees-Mogg...

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William Shakespeare Monkey Experiment Latest

Funny story: William Shakespeare Monkey Experiment Latest

A experiment to investigate whether an infinite number of monkeys sat at an infinite number of typewriters would, if left alone, eventually come up with the complete works of William Shakespeare may be in its final stages. The experiment, set up 4...

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Did General Kelly Just Diss Melania Trump?

Funny story: Did General Kelly Just Diss Melania Trump?

Ouch! Did General Kelly just diss Melania Trump because she isn’t fluent in English? Will he next accuse Barron of being her anchor child? Kelly’s insults appear to shoot out of his mouth like a cocked gun that’s loaded and fired. Bang, bang! An empt...

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Japanese Commuters Riot As Train Leaves Early Again

Funny story: Japanese Commuters Riot As Train Leaves Early Again

There were troubled scenes in Japan this morning after a commuter train left a station early for the second time in six months. Last November, management on the Tsukuba Express line between Tokyo and the city of Tsukuba sincerely apologised when t...

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Man Nearly Struck By Lightning Whilst Having His Tea

Funny story: Man Nearly Struck By Lightning Whilst Having His Tea

Early reports coming out of the Cambodian city of Battambang indicate that a storm of 'biblical proportions' has passed through the area, nearly killing one man who was having his tea. Moys Kenwood, 54, was enjoying his evening meal when a power c...

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PANTS DOWN! Big Food Was Behind Invention of Stretch Denim

Funny story: PANTS DOWN! Big Food Was Behind Invention of Stretch Denim

If you're a blue-jeans-wearing kind of gal (or guy), then you're aware of the fashion revolution that is stretch denim – but what you may not know is that the research and development of stretch denim was funded by Big Food (namely, Nestle, McDonald'...

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Trump Threatens News Credentials

Funny story: Trump Threatens News Credentials

Even though The Spoof news reporters are not allowed within ten miles of the White House, Mar-a-Lago or any of his golf courses, Donald Trump is threatening to cancel and remove all news credentials of journalists including those of The Spoof reporte...

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Mother of Two Wants to Recall Her Eggs

Funny story: Mother of Two Wants to Recall Her Eggs

Seattle, Wa - A mother of two was so disappointed with her children that she wanted to recall her eggs. “They just didn’t turn out the way I had hoped,” she confided, after neither child called her for Mothers Day. “All I got was a text from my...

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24-Hour Barbie Channel Is Starting To Get On Man's Nerves

Funny story: 24-Hour Barbie Channel Is Starting To Get On Man's Nerves

There was a distinct feeling of déjà vu for one man in the Battambang commune of Tapon last night, after his daughter and stepdaughters demanded, once again, to watch the 'Barbie channel'. Moys Kenwood, 54, had his home wired-up for cable TV last...

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Woman Rescued After Getting Stuck In Revolving Door

Funny story: Woman Rescued After Getting Stuck In Revolving Door

A woman on a shopping trip to the big city had to be rescued after she became stuck in a revolving door. Betty Smith was in New York for the very first time in her life, after living 74 years on a farm in Iowa. On a once-in-a-lifetime trip, the ol...

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Nashville Man Comes Up with Solid Life Plan

Funny story: Nashville Man Comes Up with Solid Life Plan

After decades of career confusion, soul-searching, and personal reflection, Nashville man Bart Biggs came up with a solid plan for his future, on which he's determined to follow through. “Most people's trouble,” explained Bart, “is that they go th...

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Putin's Revenge: How He Wired Trump's Albino Raccoon Hairpiece

Funny story: Putin's Revenge: How He Wired Trump's Albino Raccoon Hairpiece

BILLINGSGATE POST: If albino raccoons could talk, this might be a story that would raise eyebrows in Washington: Ever since Davy Crockett skinned a raccoon and placed its fur on top his head, this animal has provided men of the frontier with war...

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The Onion To Change To Become More Like The Spoof

Funny story: The Onion To Change To Become More Like The Spoof

The Onion, the satirical news website par excellence, whose writers are the undisputed high-watermark of satirical literary output, is to make changes to become more like one of its rivals, TheSpoof.com. The Onion has been producing highly-crafted...

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German Teens Condemn 'unfair' English Exam in Petition

Funny story: German Teens Condemn 'unfair' English Exam in Petition

Grappling with Brexit in one English exam proved too much for more than 30,000 German school students, who are protesting in an online petition. About 31,000 students sat the English exam in the south-west German state of Baden-Württemberg but the pe...

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Worthless Piece of Crap Has Another Terrible Game

Funny story: Worthless Piece of Crap Has Another Terrible Game

Jalen McGee of the Cleveland Cavaliers had another terrible game Friday night in the NBA Eastern Conference playoffs. "Jalen brought suck to a new level Friday night," said McGee's teammate LeBron James. "If you look up worthless piece of crap in...

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Girl Had Face Full Of Zits

Funny story: Girl Had Face Full Of Zits

A man has told of a frightening incident in the Battambang commune of Tapon, in which he came face-to-face with a girl who had a face "full of zits". Moys Kenwood, 54, originally from Hull in East Yorkshire, was at home eating his tea at around 7p...

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Local Hospital Opens Another Shitty Food Court

Funny story: Local Hospital Opens Another Shitty Food Court

Local Hospital, Last Resort Methodist, has opened its second food court in an effort to get more patients into the hospital. “The first food court didn’t have enough disease in their food. This time, with options like McFryBird and Lard Cow, we’r...

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Bright Side Tired of Being Looked at All the Time

Funny story: Bright Side Tired of Being Looked at All the Time

In this age of visualization and positive thinking, the bright side of things has gotten more attention than ever – and, in its own words, is getting a little tired of being looked at all the time. "Honestly, sometimes the constant focus on me get...

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80s Band Anticipates How Anticipated Their Anticipated Return is Anticipated to Be

Funny story: 80s Band Anticipates How Anticipated Their Anticipated Return is Anticipated to Be

One of the most longest named bands of the 1980s, Billy Stringbean and the Pufferfish, are making a comeback with their new album, Songs About Rocking. The highly-anticipated album is being accompanied by a tour, which kicked off last week in Cinc...

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Dog Was Barking Up The Wrong Tree

Funny story: Dog Was Barking Up The Wrong Tree

A dog which had chased a cat over an area of wasteland and into a wooded area where it stood barking for more than ten minutes at a place it thought the cat was hiding, was barking up the wrong tree. The cat, a scrawny ginger-colored beast, had al...

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More Alzheimer's Cure Worries

Funny story: More Alzheimer's Cure Worries

Following the success of my classic story Alzheimer's Cure Worries I have, in all modesty, decided to return to this delicate subject. Top Alzheimer's researcher, Dr Brain, is working at the forefront of helping evermore people remember things the...

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Fred Wilpon Addresses Media

Funny story: Fred Wilpon Addresses Media

New York Mets Majority Owner Fred Wilpon talked to the media following another Mets loss, the most recent being an 8-7 loss to the Milwaukee Brewers. "Just because our talent is lacking due to injuries doesn't mean that it's time to panic," a de...

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Lorry Sheds Its Load Of Sheds

Funny story: Lorry Sheds Its Load Of Sheds

There was a 30-yard tailback on a road in Battambang this morning, after a lorry shed its load of sheds. The lorry - which in the US would be described as 'the truck' - was being driven along the road from Baset in the direction of the city, by a...

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Man Changed His Mind

Funny story: Man Changed His Mind

Indecision was rampant in the Battambang commune of Tapon this morning, when a man who had initially made a 'concrete decision' about something, subsequently changed his mind. The man, Moys Kenwood, 54, a teacher at a school in the city, had thoug...

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Rep. Matt Gaetz exposes deep state black site

Representative Matt Gaetz is not a man to be taken lightly. Monday night on Fox News the shallow state warrior intimated that Attorney General Jeff Sessions is a captive of the deep state and that he’s developed Stockholm Syndrome brought on by grow...

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Phil Collins says that "Incels" like him should just have a big wank

Funny story: Phil Collins says that "Incels" like him should just have a big wank

Phil Collins is a 67 year old bald man best known for playing drums and sometimes yelping along. He is also an "Incel" or involuntarily celibate person, and he has a message for other Incels like him. "I never lost me virginity nor nuffing until I...

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"Ptomaine Romaine" Scare Threatens Lettuce Growers Everywhere

With the E. coli outbreak that infected one variety of Arizona's lettuce crop now seemingly at an end, the Farm Bureau has urged all concerned to romaine calm. However, the fallout from the crisis has had a devastating financial impact on the entire...

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Can You Stand the Heat??? Hot Pretzel Yoga Not for the Faint of Heart!

Funny story: Can You Stand the Heat??? Hot Pretzel Yoga Not for the Faint of Heart!

Combining the key principles of hot yoga with the technology of wood-fired brick ovens, the latest fitness craze known as hot pretzel yoga offers participants the opportunity to twist themselves into a pretzel and be baked at 425 degrees for 45 minut...

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Woman Marries Herself

Funny story: Woman Marries Herself

A woman in New Jersey who fell out with every boyfriend she ever had, has married herself. Tina Snodge, 37, who lives in Trenton, never had any problems finding partners: she was pretty, brunette, shapely, athletic, and also had a few dollars in t...

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"Me Too" Bags Another; Disgraced School Chief Quits

In the wake of New York attorney general Eric Schneiderman's resignation, another top government official elsewhere has succumbed after similar startling revelations of unwanted sexual assaults on women. Following a painful and sometimes tearful c...

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Man Delayed Flight By Taking A Dump

Funny story: Man Delayed Flight By Taking A Dump

Airline passengers at Manchester's Ringway airport were in uproar yesterday evening, after a flight was delayed when another one of the passengers was forced to visit the lavatory at the Gate before boarding. The flight, from Manchester to Bangkok...

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Cycling 'With No Hands' Gets Nod

Funny story: Cycling 'With No Hands' Gets Nod

Cyclists who ride their bicycles with 'no hands' have been celebrating this morning after it was announced that the practice has been recognised as an individual discipline, and is to be considered for possible inclusion in the next-but-one Olympic G...

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Nashville Man Blows a Gasket

Funny story: Nashville Man Blows a Gasket

28-year-old Justin Drake of Nashville, Tennessee, recently blew a gasket when his girlfriend, Cara Shiley, yet again expected him to foot the bill – this time for her fancy coffee drink. “I lost my shit," acknowledged Justin, “It wasn't pretty.”...

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Reflection on The Lucky Guy From Pompeii

Funny story: Reflection on The Lucky Guy From Pompeii

In 79 A.D. Mount Vesuvius erupted and destroyed the Roman city of Pompeii killing 2,000 souls as it went. A thick carpet of volcanic ash and dust poured across the city and don't forget the heat. This day would be the last for many. One man, whom archaeologists claim suffered an infection of the tibia, was found in the ruins with a stone door jamb on his head. What a way to go! First of al...

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The Cavs and the Warriors are in the NBA playoffs again, so when will this talented train end?

Funny story: The Cavs and the Warriors are in the NBA playoffs again, so when will this talented train end?

After all has been said and done, the Golden State Warriors will be playing the Cleveland Cavaliers in the NBA Finals for a fourth consecutive year. The opening game will start at 9 p.m., Eastern Standard Time, on ABC on Thursday, May 31, and it w...

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Trump-Kim Summit to Include Farting Contest

Funny story: Trump-Kim Summit to Include Farting Contest

The summit meeting between Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un is apparently back on, after Dear Leader Kim acceded to one of President Trump's key demands. "I am only too happy to accept President Trump's challenge," announced the Dear Leader in a press...

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US "Super Pooper" claims he was only dunging the school playing fields!

Funny story: US "Super Pooper" claims he was only dunging the school playing fields!

US dung beetles are having a field day in New Jersey after a mystery human "Super Pooper" left a trail of smelly, smoking crap around the sport fields of a school in Monmouth County. School authorities could not even blame local dogs pooing on the...

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Man Attacked By Ducklings

Funny story: Man Attacked By Ducklings

Residents in the Battambang commune of Tapon are on high-alert this evening after a local man claimed he was attacked by ducklings. The incident is alleged to have taken place just before teatime in the back garden of Moys Kenwood, who told neighb...

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Roseanne Barr Described As 'Big' And 'Large'

Funny story: Roseanne Barr Described As 'Big' And 'Large'

Roseanne Barr, the comedienne whose 'Roseanne' show made a stunning comeback recently, has been labelled 'big' and 'large', by Valerie Jarrett, a Senior Advisor to former president Barack Obama. The roly-poly funnywoman, 65, whose new version of t...

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ELO Blamed for Movie Tanking

Funny story: ELO Blamed for Movie Tanking

The director of a depressing movie blames the ELO song in the trailer for the movie tanking at the box office. "When you hear an ELO song in the trailer, it means that the movie is quirky, funny, and hip," said director, Sam Rutger. "Why they chos...

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Tea Bag Crisis Looms

Funny story: Tea Bag Crisis Looms

There were worried looks and a lot of 'pacing up-and-down' in one Battambang household last night, after a man realised he was down to his last few tea bags. Moys Kenwood, 54, made himself a 'proper brew' as usual, but noticed that there were only...

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Latest craze in the UK! Big bums and bouncy boobs are in, unedited, untouched, non-plastic!

Funny story: Latest craze in the UK! Big bums and bouncy boobs are in, unedited, untouched, non-plastic!

A super-sized model from the UK has blown away all the myths surrounding the female body by presenting her latest swimsuit collection herself, including cellulite, bumps, and lumps, that normally are 'touched up' by magazine artists! Women with si...

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Top Ten Reasons Why Kim Jong Un Desperately Wants to Make a Deal with the U. S.

Funny story: Top Ten Reasons Why Kim Jong Un Desperately Wants to Make a Deal with the U. S.

He needs a decent shampoo, rinse, and cut from Vidal Sassoon. He wants Stormy Daniels’ phone number. He wants to be let loose carte blanche in the M&M anchor store in New York City, ending in a candy bath of M&M Reds. He wants his scientists to examine Nancy Pelosi –it’s an ancient Korean cultural practice dealing with living mummification. He’s out of nuclear warheads anyway, cuz Godz...

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Trump meets Kim on his yacht in the East Sea surrounded by aircraft carriers

Funny story: Trump meets Kim on his yacht in the East Sea surrounded by aircraft carriers

Breaking: Following the recent triumphant meeting of Moon Jae-in and Kim Jong Un, leaders of South and North Korea, Mr. Trump has flown to Mr. Kim’s yacht in the East Sea for further negotiations. Mr. Trump is aboard Mr. Kim’s yacht, The Kim Il-Su...

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Portland Woman Finds Pumpkin Seeds a Beneficial Addition to Her Diet

Funny story: Portland Woman Finds Pumpkin Seeds a Beneficial Addition to Her Diet

Interested in improving her health, Loretta Vincent of Portland, Oregon, recently incorporated pumpkin seeds into her diet - and she couldn't be more pleased with the results. With a wide variety of nutrients ranging from magnesium and manganese t...

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Four Awful Mother’s Day Gifts to Show How Little You Care

Funny story: Four Awful Mother’s Day Gifts to Show How Little You Care

It’s common knowledge that most people secretly dislike their parents, blaming them for their problems in life and resenting how they raised them. This, of course, creates challenges every May when Mother’s Day rolls around. You don’t want the woman...

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White House confirms Bolton dropped into North Korea and returned by fishing trawler to USS Carl Vinson

Funny story: White House confirms Bolton dropped into North Korea and returned by fishing trawler to USS Carl Vinson

Wrapped in a shawl in disguise as a halmoni (Korean grandmother), Mr. Bolton has recently completed a tour of the Punggyerae test site. White House Chief of Staff General Kelly has confirmed Mr. Bolton was parachuted in the dead of night with dead...

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Tapeworm World Record Smashed!

Funny story: Tapeworm World Record Smashed!

There were celebrations across the Korean peninsula last night when news broke that a new world record for the length of a tapeworm had been set. The old record which had stood for 140 years - the previous best of 89 metres was set in 1878 - was s...

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Tennessee Man Meets Jesus With Whiskey on His Breath

Funny story: Tennessee Man Meets Jesus With Whiskey on His Breath

Tennessee man Joshua Hendricks recently met his Maker – albeit for only about ninety seconds – with whiskey on his breath. “It wasn't exactly how I wanted it to happen,” admitted Hendricks, who fell into a coma as a result of alcohol poisoning but...

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Trudeau to the World's Wretches: No Vacancy!

Beaver Pelt, Canada — Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, who recently tried to upstage the Statue of Liberty's invitation to the “teeming masses” of the world's “wretched refuse,” announced, to the world (but particularly to South Americans) that any and...

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“Perfect” Online Couple Question Their True Compatibility

Funny story: “Perfect” Online Couple Question Their True Compatibility

It was love at first sight – and first site – for Mitch Hennessy and Kacey Craig when they encountered each other on the dating website Bumble, a first experience for both of them with the world of online dating. “I could tell she was the one,” sa...

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Melania Trump Defends Cyberbullying

Funny story: Melania Trump Defends Cyberbullying

Melania Trump, the wife of US President, Donald J. Trump, has spoken out on her ruminations on social media, and its effects on those using it. In a speech about her latest initiative, 'Be Best', she said: "As we all know, social media can both...

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Critics: "Solo" is no go

Funny story: Critics: "Solo" is no go

HOLLYWEIRD, CALIFORNICATE — Although “Solo Sex: A Star Whores Story” is, by some accounts, “the worst movie ever made,” the news media feel obliged to cover the gooey mess, since Diznee Studios spends a lot of money advertising such fare in newspape...

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You Ain’t Nothin’ But a Horndog

Funny story: You Ain’t Nothin’ But a Horndog

You ain't nothin' but a horndog Whinin’ all the time You ain't nothin' but a horndog Whinin’ all the time Well, you ain't never told the truth and you ain't no friend of mine Well they said you was high-classed Well, that was just a lie Yeah they said you was high-classed Well, that was just a lie You ain't never said a classy thing and you ain't no friend of mine You ain't nothin'...

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Chocolate Ice Cream Made Mess Of Girl's Face

Funny story: Chocolate Ice Cream Made Mess Of Girl's Face

What should have been a pleasant Sunday afternoon outing in Battambang with her friends, turned into the 'nightmare of her dreams' for one pretty girl today, as the ice cream she was eating, melted far more quickly than she'd anticipated it might, le...

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Loony Israeli Rabbi claims Trump is the returning 'Messiah!'

Funny story: Loony Israeli Rabbi claims Trump is the returning 'Messiah!'

Now President Trump has been called many things in his short career, but a head-banging, loony, Israeli Rabbi has topped all of the descriptions of Trump's schizo characteristics, by claiming, "Trump is the return of the Messiah!" Jesus Christ, (...

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Trump declares May 5th: Sinko-de-Putto Day!

"Can it get any worse?" stated the New York Times in its lead editorial this morning referring to President Donald Trump and his declaration that May 5th is..."Sinko-de-Putto Day" How much more can this president insult the government of Mexico and...

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Children's Storytime: Sergei And The Drone

Funny story: Children's Storytime: Sergei And The Drone

Hello, children! It's time for a story! Are you ready? If you are, let's start! Once upon a time, there was a man whose name was Sergei Skripal. He lived in a country far away, called Russia. He was a spy. Spies like to find out things. They like to find out about other people's secrets. They like to find out about secrets like what other people are doing, or what the other people are trying...

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Driver Went Through Red Light

Funny story: Driver Went Through Red Light

A motorist in the Thai capital of Bangkok was labelled with being 'irresponsible' this afternoon, after he deliberately drove through traffic lights which were clearly on 'red', which means 'stop'. The driver, who was in a jet-black 2016 Landcruis...

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The Son of a Preacher Man (For Donald Trump)

Donald Trump was a preacher’s son And when his wife was givin’ birth And her family gathered round for support That’s when Donald Trump would start to cheatin’ That’s when Donald Trump would start to hittin’ On any porn star he’d see walkin’ Then he’d look into the camera’s eyes Lord, to all our surprise, He’d deny it all. The only one who could reach Evangelicals Was a porn star hornd...

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President Trump visits the Kremlin

'Mr Trump? President Putin will see you now.' 'Great, great! This is gonna be beautiful, so beautiful! But hey, guys - you checked this place for those little tiny cameras, hidden mikes, Polonium 210, crazy stuff like that?' 'Yessir, Mr President!' 'Fabulous, just fabulous. Told you we could trust Putin didn't I? Didn't I?' 'Yessir, you did, just before TapeGate.' 'Hey, hey Pompeo -...

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Bolton to pilot B-52 squadron over North Korea will parachute down to establish first American base north of the 38th parallel

Funny story: Bolton to pilot B-52 squadron over North Korea will parachute down to establish first American base north of the 38th parallel

National Security Advisor John Bolton has had his way over North Korea’s objections to the current “Maximum Thunder” joint exercises with South Korea. Mr. Bolton insists that scheduling the current exercises despite the North-South Koreas’ recent...

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Royal Ascot to become new UK cage-fighting center!

Funny story: Royal Ascot to become new UK cage-fighting center!

Royal Ascot, home of equestrian royalty, the final bastion of expensive designer female hats, Saville Row suits, royal processions, mega buckets of expensive champers, Rolls Royces, and High Society in general, has finally succumbed to the modern wa...

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Day tres and what a great dia it was; noche, lo siento!

WAN-KIN-DIK's latest creation, haute cuisine 5 star, Shepard Dogs Pie (veggie/vegan version), went down like a tin of Chappi and the diners went barking mad. However the highlights of the evening were: Illegal immigrant US presidents attempting to crash the Nutters Beach Club party, luckily, we had a Trump card (very punny), Ex-shot putting GDR Olympic, gold medal winning athlete, our doorma...

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Special Counsel Mueller caught in undercover work with Stormy Daniels denies prurient interest

Funny story: Special Counsel Mueller caught in undercover work with Stormy Daniels denies prurient interest

Interviewed by Sean Hannity of FOX News, Mr. Mueller insisted his session with Ms. Daniels was “entirely business, as part of the investigation.” Nevertheless, Mr. Hannity pursued the question of why Mr. Mueller had gone about his visit in this wa...

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Trump re-assigns Giuliana to---"A Place for Mom!"

In a White House press briefing this morning, press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders announced that President Trump has re-assigned Rudy Giuliani to a franchise outlet for---A Place for Mom. Reporters gasped and looked at each other in amazement.

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Malaysian Prime Minister Has A Cold

Funny story: Malaysian Prime Minister Has A Cold

There was panic in the Malaysian capital of Kuala Lumpur last night when it was revealed that the country's newly-elected leader, the 92-year-old Dr. Mahathir Mohamad, had a cold. Dr. Mohamad is the oldest Prime Minister in the world, after his p...

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Odors from Ecuador’s Embassy in London draw some concern

Funny story: Odors from Ecuador’s Embassy in London draw some concern

Surrounded by protesters and police keeping a close watch for any disturbance, Ecuador’s London embassy is subject to new investigations. That is, observers have noticed a certain odor that appears to be coming from this noble edifice, although fr...

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Barçelona's Lionel Messi Leaves Fan In Tears

Funny story: Barçelona's Lionel Messi Leaves Fan In Tears

Lionel Messi, the Barçelona and Argentina footballer, has been severely criticised this morning after leaving a fan in tears. The Argentine was in South Africa as part of the Barçelona squad who were there to play a match to commemorate 100 years...

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EXCLUSIVE! Top Five Things Barack Obama Misses about Being President

Funny story: EXCLUSIVE! Top Five Things Barack Obama Misses about Being President

These days, the world's eyes are on United States President Donald Trump, whose social media antics and shameless shenanigans have captured the hearts and minds of weirdos the world over. But in this exclusive interview, we sat down with former presi...

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Rosie and Dim - On the Roseanne Barr Fallout

TV creature Rosanne Barr has blamed a series of racist Tweets on a sedative she had been taking. As we wait for the judge to come back from recess in our trial (completely trumped up charges of multi million pound embezzlement, we can’t even spell embezzlement without auto correct) we had a look at what other celebrities blamed shit behaviour on. Tommy Robinson: Recently incarcerated racist pat...

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Elderly man sues weight loss program after losing fifteen pounds and three inches!

An elderly man from Louisburg, North Carolina has sued a well known weight loss program after losing fifteen pounds and three inches using their program. His suit is for reckless endangerment, false advertising and public humiliation. He appeared a...

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LOL??? New Study Reports that People Are Funny

Funny story: LOL??? New Study Reports that People Are Funny

A new study released today by the American Psychological Association reports that people are funny - not funny in the "ha-ha sense," clarified APA President Evan Cartwright, but funny as in "weird, strange, bizarre. F-ed up, if you will.” Cartwrig...

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Nashville Woman Wonders When Her Bachelorette Party Will Finally Come

Funny story: Nashville Woman Wonders When Her Bachelorette Party Will Finally Come

Every time 34-year-old Kendra Burke of Nashville, Tennessee, sees a crew of drunken girls in cutoff short-shorts, cowboy boots, and matching T-shirts go by on a foot-powered Pedal Tavern Bus, she wonders when the day will finally come for her bachelo...

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US 'Super Pooper' Mounts Defence

Funny story: US 'Super Pooper' Mounts Defence

The man at the centre of the 'Super Pooper' scandal has said he has every confidence in his legal team, and expects an apology from his school and the police. The pooping super has been charged with "lewdness, littering and defecating in public",...

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The Secret England Footballer: Russia 2018 Call Up

Funny story: The Secret England Footballer: Russia 2018 Call Up

I know...I know what you’re thinking. How is it that after two years in the wilderness Gormless Gareth has seen the light and called me back into the squad? I’ll tell you how. Even GG knows class when he sees it and it’s when the going gets tough...

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Attorney General gets the Hammer and Sickle

Funny story: Attorney General gets the Hammer and Sickle

President Trump has appointed Vladimir Putin as Attorney General after Jeff Sessions' resignation. Sessions admitted that his loyalty toward Trump has diminished after Trump defiled him in the public sphere, even though rumblings in the Capitol s...

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Teacher's Armpits Were Rank

Funny story: Teacher's Armpits Were Rank

There were frowns all around the staffroom of a school in Battambang this morning, when a substitute teacher who had turned up to do a day's teaching took off her cardigan to reveal unsightly circles of perspiration in her armpits. In fairness, th...

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