Musician Moves to Music City Only to Be Played Like a Song

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Tuesday, 24 April 2018

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After being played like a song by a heartless record label, songwriter Billy Bonner is finding his groove again.

Lured by promises of a lucrative publishing deal with a major country music label, singer-songwriter Billy Bonner moved to Nashville, Tennessee - a.k.a. Music City - only to find that company executives were less interested in getting his songs played on the radio than in playing him.

“They wrung me out like a wet rag and hung me out to dry,” said Billy. “They played me like a song.”

Unfortunately, being spun like vinyl on a turntable by a heartless record company turned out to be just the start of Billy's woes. It wasn't long before he also ended up played by a sweet-talking woman with a heart-shaped face named Melissa.

After spending hours gazing soulfully into each others' eyes, or out the window, dreaming of better things for the two of them, Billy and Melissa fell deeply in love. Knowing that Melissa didn't lack for suitors, Billy asked her whether she was dating around. When she told him that she was not, he took it to mean that she was his girl.

Eight weeks later, though, he realized he'd asked the wrong question.

“I should have asked her if she was sleeping around,” Billy learned. “That, she was.”

Melissa played Billy like a tired country tune, till finally the playing played itself out. Billy describes it as a slow fade. “She wore the groove off my vinyl," he summarized.

These days, though, Billy's finally starting to find his groove again. He's got a number-one single (“Life as a Lego”) on the children's charts. And he's got a new girlfriend, Cassie, who doesn't play him like a fiddle – although the two of them do enjoy their share of frisky shenanigans.

“I don't mind being her boy-toy,” says Billy.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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