In honor of Earth Day, Pentagon officials decided to tell the American people the truth for once.
In a special report that was temporarily declassified for only 24 hours, the Supreme
Commander of the Armed Forces admitted that most of money supposedly spent on bombing the Middle East was actually going into the personal spending accounts of top ranking military officers.
Five star general Wallace Dumbford was quoted as saying, "If we say we dropped a hundred bombs, at $5 million dollars a piece, in the middle of a secluded desert, who is going to question it? And how could anyone prove that we didn't?" He then laughed, slit the throat of an illegal immigrant baby, and drank its blood.
Of the 79 trillion dollars diverted to personal use, an estimated 80 percent went to recreational drugs, with the remaining amount going to hookers, and online porn sites.
