Nikki Haley to be offered up as one of Mr. Trump’s options on the table

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Tuesday, 24 April 2018

image for Nikki Haley to be offered up as one of Mr. Trump’s options on the table
Ms. Haley was overheard to remark, "True, I've been practicing for when I'm the president."

Following the triumph of his recent missile launch on Syria, President Trump has offered a new, magnanimous gesture to the world in his “pursuit of world peace.”

Accompanied by a bevy of early morning tweets, Mr. Trump indicates that from his many “options on the table” he is now willing to add in UN Ambassador Ms. Haley.

True, the President indicated, Ms. Haley’s “proper diplomatic response,” as with relations with Russia, would be “sorely missed.”

Ms. Haley has held Russia accountable for numerous sins alleged by the mainstream press, including the as yet undemonstrated meddling with the recent election.

She has stated Russia can “never be our friend” as well as how that country, specifically Mr. Putin, needs to be “slapped.”

Ms. Haley has indicated full cooperation with Mr. Trump’s magnificent gesture.

Yesterday she mounted a table at the UN Security Council and, twirling on it twice, indicated she is happily on the table as one more option the President might use in the nation’s defense.

“Ms. Haley will get down off that table,” Mr. Trump stated, “and be retired from the position she has so honorably served.”

As a result, other world nations could experience two possible changes from a new American ambassador:

*milder, sweeter rhetoric

*positions accompanied by “we are still waiting for the evidence”

Mr. Trump added: “I know it’s a little surprising, folks, but I could also consider adding Mr. Pompeo and Mr. Bolton as options on the table.”

As both these gentlemen are known as warhawks, this last gesture from Mr. Trump is felt particularly significant.

When reporters pointed out to Mr. Trump that these gentlemen have only just been appointed, he was dismissive.

“My style is revolving door. I think you know that. People come and go according to how I’m feeling in the morning.”

Ms. Haley indicates she would fill the time until the 2020 presidential election by working on her memoirs and a study of “the one indispensable nation’s obligation to shape the globe.”

This forthcoming book would then help her compete for the nomination with Mr. Trump.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more