Oklahoma Man Dies While Attempting to Kill Time

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Tuesday, 10 April 2018

image for Oklahoma Man Dies While Attempting to Kill Time
Brent (left) was famous for calling unnecessary meetings in order to kill time - until the day that time killed him.

Brent Hargrave of Tulsa, Oklahoma, was attempting to kill time at his boring office job when time rallied and, in a valiant show of self-defense, slayed the project manager.

“I don't think he even saw it coming,” said Hargrave's former co-worker, Alyssa Ray. “Brent was pretty cocky about his ability to kill time since he did it all the time. But apparently time wasn't completely dead.”

Another former co-worker, Mike Williams, concurred. “Brent was a slacker. He could kill time doing just about anything – he was very versatile. Whether it was through social media, setting up unnecessary meetings, or just shooting the breeze with random staff people in the building, he managed to kill hours at time on a regular basis. I would agree that he probably grew complacent."

Brent's former boss, Amelia Cantwell, while expressing her sympathies to Brent's family, acknowledged that since his death, time has been flying at work. “It's like it has nothing to fear anymore," she stated.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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