Written by Ben Macnair

Sunday, 15 April 2018

image for Xenomorph rejected from another job, again
Well, Kevin, I don't think you have the skills we are looking for, do you?

Diane Smith, a Xenomorph, best known for a fleeting appearance in the Alien: Resolution film has spoken about being rejected for another job.

The eight foot tall alien, who bleeds acid, and has an unfortunate habit of incubating her offspring within the bodies of co-workers told us: 'I seemed perfect for this job. I had the skills they were looking for, Pitman shorthand, a typing speed of eighty words a minute, and the ability to work on my own initiative, and working well within a team'.

She added 'I thought it was a surefire thing. No, it never is, though is it. They take one look at me with my face, my size, my tail, and the unfortunate history in my career, and I am told no, again and again and again. Sometimes, I just think it would be for the best if I just spent a lot of time in a dark corner in outer-space'.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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