Life Continues to Get “Bettor and Bettor” for Gambling Addict

Written by Chrissy Benson

Sunday, 1 April 2018

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His funds may be dwindling, but gambling addict Cal's life is getting "bettor and bettor" - in fact, he's betting on it!

Calvin Jones, a self-identified gambling addict, says that his life continues to get “bettor and bettor” as he continues to discover new and exciting things on which to wager.

As a former semipro baseball player, Cal explained that he initially gravitated toward traditional sports betting, beginning with professional baseball, football, and basketball, and then branching out into college sports and even the Olympics. To his amazement and delight, Cal came to see that no matter how diverse as his gambling ventures became, there were more betting-appropriate sports than he'd ever realized.

“Boxing, for one. Horse-racing, dog-racing, MMA, NASCAR, even politics,” he marveled. “There's a whole world out there, just waiting for me to lay some money down.”

In addition, also to his great delight, Cal's had increasingly good luck in finding people willing to engage in a friendly wager with him. Noting that many people casually toss around the phrase, “Yeah, I bet,” Cal takes them at their word.

“I look at them and say, 'How much?'” he reported with a smile.

Unfortunately, Cal's gambling habit hasn't paid off just yet – at least for him. While life may be getting “bettor and bettor,” his bank account is rapidly dwindling. In fact, concerned family and friends say that odds are he'll be bankrupt within the year.

Nevertheless, Cal remains sanguine about his prospects. “I”ll take those odds!” he declared. “I'm betting on life.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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