Written by Dave Henry

Tuesday, 24 April 2018

image for Deep Blue Something Ex Hates Breakfast at Tiffany’s

The ex-girlfriend of the Deep Blue Something lead singer revealed this week that she actually hates the film Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

She only said she liked it because he was being so pathetic trying to hold on to something from their relationship that had long since been over.

Breakfast at Tiffany’s was a huge hit in the summer of 1995. It was about a guy and a girl who had broken up, trying to remember the good times by recalling that they both “kinda liked” the 1961 film starring Skinny Magoo and the guy from the A-Team.

“It was just the worst relationship I had ever been in in my life,” she said. “We had literally nothing in common, I don’t even know how we got together in the first place.”

They eventually broke up when the world had come between them, their lives had come between them, and they fell apart, she recalls.

“But then, up to a year after we broke up he kept calling me, naming all these things we did together, trying to find some ‘common ground to start from’ to salvage in his mind our awful relationship,” said the Ex.

“’Did you like that book Less Than Zero by Brett Easton Ellis?’ he asked me,” she recalled.

“No. You know how I feel about people with three names.”

“What about that show 227 with Marla Gibbs? Remember we used to watch the reruns sometimes late at night?”

“No. We watched it once, and I distinctly remember saying I refused to ever watch Marla Gibbs play any role other than Florence on the Jeffersons. She played Dre’s mom on Black-ish the other night and I had to change the channel.”

“How about Cruel Summer by Bananarama. Come on, we loved that song.”

“No, you loved that song. I hated them because the singer stole away my childhood crush, Andrew Ridgely of Wham!”

This went on for months as he called her asking about her favorite type of paper clip (binder clips or traditional?), whether she favored the old wheat back penny or the Lincoln Memorial back penny, and her favorite color.

“His favorite color was deep blue. Gag. I hate blue, especially deep blue.”

Finally, after nearly a year, he asked her about the film Breakfast and Tiffany’s, which they were once forced to watch on an airplane.

“Fine. Yes, I kinda liked it. It was fine. It was only somewhat boring,” the ex responded.

“Yay!” shouted the singer. “We finally have something we can share fond memories of!”

But now, almost 25 years, she revealed that she only said that to shut him up and she actually despised the movie. “She was annoying and he was like a piece of wood – no chemistry. Just like us,” the ex said, comparing the actors in the movie to her situation with the Deep Blue Something guy.

The Ex went on to marry the Plain White Tees guy, but then they broke up when she moved 1,000 miles away to New York City.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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