Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 8 April 2018

image for Man Falls After Chasing Cow
This was the ringleader!

There was controversy in Cambodia this afternoon, when a man who was chasing some cows out of his garden slipped and fell on a road, grazing the skin at the back of the top of his leg just underneath his bottom.

The cows pass the Battambang home of Moys Kenwood every single day - amazingly, to graze - and had encroached onto his garden, in order that they might nibble on some of his wife's flowers. Kenwood takes up the story:

"The bastards do this every day! I grabbed my 9-foot aluminum pole that I keep for this very purpose, and ran at them. They bolted and went behind the house, and around the other side. Then they turned towards the road, with me in hot pursuit. One of them tried to 'double-back', and slid and fell like an idiot I performed a similar manoeuvre, and there we were, sprawled in the road facing each other. He got to his feet quicker than I did, and made off at top speed."

The Englishman then returned to his home to survey the damage to his poorly leg. Kenwood again:

"On lowering my jeans, I saw that the grazing covered an area about six inches in diameter, in the area under my left arse cheek. It was smarting like fuck. I rubbed some Savlon on the wound, because I'm a bit of a baby, and I was worried about possible infection, and potential amputation of the limb."

Police are not investigating.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: life, Cows




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