Written by Jaggedone

Wednesday, 4 April 2018

image for A "Flock of Seagulls" trash hotel room after "Heavy Metal Band" left the building!
Who needs a Heavy Metal Band to trash a hotel room when you've got a "Flock of Seagulls" to do it instead!

After doing several gigs in Canada, a renowned US Heavy Metal Band decided to park up at a seaside resort, luxury hotel, for a few days of R & R, but were warned by the owners; "Do not trash our rooms because Led Zeppelin and The Who stayed here once and we are still recovering from the trauma!"

The Band (not a Flock of Seagulls with poofy hairstyles) promised to be good boys, and anyway, they were knackered after shagging too many groupies and needed some real rest!

Everything went OK until one of the band members decided to hang some fish out to dry over the balcony. He needed the pickled fish to cure his deadly hangover after downing several bottles of Jim Beam.

Now, as any sensible hotel tourist knows,especially at seaside resorts, the smell of fish attracts not only cats, and the Dutch, but also a 'A Flock of seagulls' (without poofy hairstyles).

The band were suddenly called away because they were invited to play at Glastonbury, instead of Engelbert Humperdinck, so they rushed out the room and forgot to eat the stinking fish!

A 'Blitzkrieg' ensued with seagulls attacking from all angles desperate to get their beaks into the prey and, whilst dive bombing, and fighting for scraps, they crashed through the windows and trashed the room!

The hotel, unaware of the 'Battle of British Columbia' happening in the room, obviously thought the band caused the chaos because cleaning ladies cleared up seagulls crap before an investigation began!

The Heavy Metal Band received a hefty bill, which they refused to pay, and when a 'Flock of Seagulls' (with poofy hairstyles) attempted to book the hotel, they were told to 'Fuck Off'

As for the seagulls, without the hairstyles, rumors have it, they were last heard squawking a hearty sea-shanty version of "Nothing else matters!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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