There were 280 spoof news stories published in May 2019. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Harry and Meghan post adorable photo of Archie's first POO
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex have posted an adorable new photograph of baby Archie Harrison's first POOP today - as Meghan, 37, celebrates her first Mother's Day with her son. The adorable single image shows the newborn's SOILED DIAPER or N...
Read full storyBlack People Fed Up with Middle Class White Boys Singing in Faux Jamaican Accents
Tom Walker was born in Glasgow, but when he was three years old his family moved to the Cheshire town of Knutsford. He described his upbringing in a 'Glaswegian house' as his parents spoke in impenetrable accents. George Ezra Barnett was born in H...
Read full storyOutrage at Facebook IQ and Extremism Test
In a bid to resurrect its faltering reputation, and in the face of a possible US$3billion fine, Facebook Nerd-in-Chief, Mark Zuckerberg, has decided to clean up his corrupt organisation. Not before time, you might say. In a surprise and hastily-c...
Read full storyNoel Gallagher And Elton John To Record Live Wembley Album Before FA Cup Final
Two Titans of the music world, Sir Elton Hercules John and Mr. Noel Gallagher, have agreed to come together to record a live album in front of the 100,000 crowd at Wembley Stadium, before this season's FA Cup final between their respective favourite...
Read full storySimple brain zapper gives older adults the cognitive skills of a 20 year old
A Birmingham man has invented an electrical device which he claims dramatically improves the working memory of older adults. The ‘Cerebrummie’ is the brainchild of retired BT engineer Arthur Monke and goes on sale next week for only £4.99 in selec...
Read full storyTrump To Meet Ice Cube Over Future Of Hip-Hop
President Donald Trump took a break from his day-to-day presidential duties of upsetting the leaders of other nations, insulting his political rivals, and edging the US and the rest of the world nearer to Armageddon, by announcing that he is to meet...
Read full storyIceland launches new low cost cryonics service
Frozen food retailer Iceland took the lucrative cryonics industry by surprise today with the launch of a low cost service for those wishing to freeze their body, or parts of it, for the future. Marketed under the brand name 'Super-Chill', the serv...
Read full storySong celebrates streets of San Francisco
UPDATE: You can hear the midi files without Pythonista Here Sidewalk, San Francisco, CA - The top music award for experimental music was captured at the annual Gastrointestinal Melodies Awards earlier today here in San Francisco. The song, a…
Read full storyNew Study Shows Tuesdays Suck Even Worse than Mondays
A new study released by the Center for Disease Control revealed that while Mondays are notorious for giving people the blues, in fact, Tuesdays suck even worse. "Mondays at least have novelty gong for them," said CDC researcher Cameron Reese. "The...
Read full storyStockholm International Airport's Anti-Terrorism Toilets Raise Eyebrows
Those liberal-minded Scandinavians are at it again, and this time it's the Swedes, who have unveiled some rather impersonal toilet facilities to try to prevent terrorist activity at Stockholm airport. The male toilets, which can be seen above, are...
Read full storyMuslim Prostitute Arrested In West Yorkshire Town
Police in West Yorkshire who arrested a Muslim woman on charges of prostitution after she was seen loitering on a street corner dressed in seductive Muslim-style garb, had to call for specialist lifting equipment when the woman steadfastly refused to...
Read full storyKeith Flint's Ghost Visits Pub Looking Slightly Less Scary Than Keith Flint Did
There were a few raised eyebrows but no shrieking at an Essex public house at the weekend, when the ghost of former landlord, Keith Flint, paid an unexpected visit to the pub, and, as he was used to doing, started the fire in the bar. Flint, 49, d...
Read full storyTrump Attacked By Bunch Of Clowns: Goes For Juggler
BILLINGSGATE POST: “Head for the roundhouse, Nellie. They can’t corner you there.” You would have to believe that President Trump heeded that advice from his confidante, Slim Everdingle. For sure, Trump hasn’t had a break from smears and attacks...
Read full storyNashville Man Becomes a Stoic
In the grand tradition of Roman emperor/philosopher Marcus Aurelius, Ben Foley of Nashville, Tennessee, decided to become a Stoic. "I dig it," said Foley of his new way of life. "It's chill. Steady, as my man Marcus liked to say." Foley explain...
Read full storyBarcelona Misery Total After Team Bus Was 'Up On Bricks'
"It never rains but it pours", is the way the old saying goes, and it was never more true than on Tuesday night at Anfield, when the Barcelona football team, humiliated and dumped out of the Champions League by Liverpool, emerged from the stadium for...
Read full storyWoman's Overweight Friends Worry that She Might Be Getting a Little Too Fat
Concerned friends of Nanette Harper of Nashville, Tennessee, started to worry that Nanette had exceeded the extra 30 to 40 pounds that they all comfortably carry, and might be getting a little too fat. "It's a delicate subject, and you don't want...
Read full storySolskjaer Stance On Parking Spaces Hints At Concrete Future For United
It seems that retiring a player's shirt is no longer enough. Now you have to retire their car parking space too. That is the world created by Ole Gunnar Solskjaer in what will probably be his most telling contribution as Manchester United manager.
Read full storyBishop's dead pig orgy "not illegal"
A scandal has erupted in the usually genteel world of the Church of England. The Bishop of Chaffinch St Cock, Geoff "The Defiler" Futtock, has been captured on video in a horrific act featuring dozens of dead swine. In the video, Bishop Futtock ca...
Read full storyCONSTITUTIONAL CRISIS: Trump’s Albino Raccoon Hairpiece Subpoenaed By Congress
BILLINGSGATE POST: Those beady eyes that peered back at President Trump from the mirror when he adjusted his albino raccoon hairpiece missed nothing. The gift from Vladimir Putin to Trump was a stealth bomb. Somehow, the Secret Service failed to fin...
Read full storySubbuteo Football Player Sustains Career-Threatening Injury
FLASHBACK ON THIS DAY 45 YEARS AGO A talented footballer's career is hanging in the balance this evening, after a horror injury that will rule him out for at least the rest of the season, and possibly the rest of his life. Number 9 was playi...
Read full storyAbacus still works after 66 years in loft
When Cambridge astrophysicist Dr Aaron Phelps recently sorted out his loft he was thrilled to discover the abacus his parents gave him on his first birthday, back in 1953. "I had no idea it was up there," Dr Phelps told us. "I thought it had been...
Read full storyUber Purchases Ailing 737 Max 8s For New Venture
Bangkok, Thailand - Uber Thailand is taking on a new look! No longer are Uber drivers limited to driving their own vehicles - they can now own and drive a wingless Boeing 737 Max 8. CEO Dara Khosrowshahi is "piloting" the program in Bangkok, Thai...
Read full storyMarks & Spencer Store Closure Will Leave Man's Mother 'Nowhere' To Buy Her Knickers
The permanent closure today of one of the most popular clothes shopping stores in one city's history, has presented a local woman with a huge problem in her underwear department. The store in Hull's Whitefriargate has traded in the city since befo...
Read full storyJamie Oliver Has Come A Cropper With His Restaurant Chain
When a large restaurant chain starts losing money, and eventually goes into administration, there would usually have been some signs along the way for the owners that would have helped them take action to protect the business and its hardworking staf...
Read full storyTrump Sparks Diplomatic Incident After Sumo Challenge
President Donald Trump's visit to Japan got off to a controversial start in Tokyo today, when he sparked a diplomatic incident after a Sumo wrestler challenged the president to get into the ring with him, and 'have a grapple'. 'Have a grapple' is...
Read full storyElton John Carried Offstage In Copenhagen After Watford FA Cup Annihilation
Sir Elton John had to be helped off the stage during a concert in Copenhagen last night, as updates he was receiving about the scoreline from the FA Cup final match at Wembley Stadium between Watford and Manchester City were making him more and more...
Read full storyTV guide - 22nd May
6:00. The Future Now. Today featuring a robot that can make a perfect cup of tea. 6:30. Britain’s Poorest Neighbourhoods. Exploitative documentary. 7:00. Michael McIntyre’s Favourite Loud Noises. The comedian listens to trumpets and dogs barkin...
Read full storyDelia Smith Is Going To Bake A Special Cake To Celebrate Norwich City Being Promoted
TV celebrity cook, Delia Smith, is to bake a special celebration cake for the players and staff of Norwich City after the Championship team secured promotion to the Premier League. Norwich is in Norfolk. Smith, 77, who has been a supporter of t...
Read full storyMan's Telephone Has Lost Its Color Function, And Is Now Black-And-White Only, Like 'Rumble Fish' (1983)
A telephone that has lost its color function, so that everything that appears on its screen is in black-and-white only, reminded its owner of one of his all-time favorite films, the Francis Ford Coppola-produced 'Rumble Fish' (1983). The telephone...
Read full storyMary Had an Abortion Before Jesus, Biblical Archeologists Claim
Wheaton, IL—Biblical archeologists from Wheaton College have discovered, among a pile of scrolls in a ruin in Nazareth, a letter from the Virgin Mary to her cousin Elizabeth explaining why she had to abort her first child. In the scroll, the Virgin...
Read full storyOffending People Online - Your Guide
Offending people, something folk once went out of their way to avoid doing, so unpalatable were the consequences, is no longer taboo, and is now a fashionable, not to say 'pleasurable', thing to do. People nowadays become offended at anything.
Read full storyMad Trump Disease and the Nationalist Voter
Mad Trump disease, or Nationalist spongiform fast food encephalopathy (NSFFE), is a transmissible, slowly progressive, degenerative and fatal disease affecting the brain of adult idiots. The USDA estimates that at least 40% of nationalist voters suff...
Read full storyBuddhist Chanting Got On Man's Wick
Prolonged Buddhist chanting over a 3-day period because of a funeral, got on the nerves of one man so much, he considered going to the nearby temple and burning it down. The man, whose identity must be guarded to avoid any repercussions, awoke on...
Read full storyJimmy White Accused Of 'Interfering With Boy's Cue'
Snooker legend Jimmy White is in hot water after a friendly piece of advice he offered to a young lad in a pub was misconstrued, and a photo was posted on social media platforms with the comment: 'Jimmy White interfering with young boy's cue'.
Read full storyGame Of Thrones: Furious Fans Want Ned Stark Brought Back
Fans of the HBO fantasy drama series, 'Game Of Thrones', are said to be "up in arms" over what is being called 'a major disappointment' at events in the eighth and final series of the show, with some calling for a radical rewrite of the scripts. '...
Read full storyKentucky Derby: Russian Interference Alleged
There is controversy today in the aftermath of the Kentucky Derby debacle, when winning horse, Maximum Security, was disqualified for 'impeding other horses', and relegated to last place. A new scandal has emerged, of potential Russian involvemen...
Read full storyFollowing Latest Dire Climate Report, Trump Places Himself on Endangered Species List
Following issuance of a dire United Nations climate report stating that, unless drastic measures are taken, up to 1 million plant and animal species are at risk of extinction within our lifetime, United States President Donald Trump, while continuing...
Read full storyOil Discovered In Man's Back Garden
The discovery of oil, the commodity that the whole world would like to get its greasy hands on, is always momentous, and it was no different last Sunday afternoon in the Battambang commune of Tapon, when a resident doing some garden maintenance had t...
Read full storyLiving by Anti-Zen Principles
In the ongoing culture war, authoritarian nationalists continue to lose ground every second of the day. Diverse, well-adjusted human beings are living their lives as true to themselves as they can, all the while pursuing interests which are geared to...
Read full storyJimmy White And 'Rocket' Ronnie O'Sullivan Get EastEnders Call-up
The big news in British entertainment circles this week is that snooker legends Jimmy White and Ronnie O'Sullivan have landed major starring roles in the miserable BBC soap drama, EastEnders. Jimmy and Ronnie will enter the show in the autumn, as...
Read full storyStudent Had "Wholly Inappropriate" Tattoo
A student at a school in Bangkok was seen to have had what has been described as an "inappropriate tattoo", it has been reported. The 13-year-old boy was seen sporting the temporary tattoo sometime back in 2011 or 2012, but I've only just remember...
Read full storyMan Deliberated For Too Long
A man who was in two minds as to whether or not he should buy a pair of Adidas trainers he had seen in the window of a charity shop, decided to "have a think" about it, and was, subsequently left disappointed when he returned to the shop later to fin...
Read full storyTelemarketers Condemned to Fate Worse than Hell at Anti-Robocall Convention
Washington, D. C. The First International Anti-Robocall/Anti-Telemarketer Convention convened here this morning, opening with a rousing prayer, below, given by a minister ordained via email by the Internet Gospel church. "Dear Lord. Since the Fe...
Read full storyCalifornia Officials to Blow up Oroville Damn!
UPDATE: CALFISH is now evacuating the Salmon from below the Damn. According to spokes-fish Hal A. Bight, the fish, and their human worshippers, are stealthily exiting for high ground. “We like water, but a 100-foot wall of it moving at seventy-...
Read full storyTuva Airlines Recognized as Most INEPT in World
Lausanne, Switzerland - The Inter-National Evaluators of Passenger Traffic today awarded their infamous INEPT prize to Tuva Air for its persistently low rankings in on-time arrival, baggage loss, passenger satisfaction, and frequency of flight cancel...
Read full storyChina To Repair Ozone Layer With Steamed Minced Pork Buns
The disturbing news this week that dangerous chlorofluorocarbons (CFCs) traceable to China are directly responsible for damage to the ozone layer, has met with a swift response from the Chinese authorities - they are to repair the damage with steamed...
Read full storyTrump May Pardon Lt. Calley for My Lai Massacre
The White House. Special to The Spoof. A week after pardoning Lt. Michael Behanna, who was convicted by an army court martial and sentenced to prison for 25 years for killing an unarmed Iraqi detainee, President Donald Trump is reportedly considering...
Read full storyHospital Patients Willing to Stop Treatment To Watch Avengers Endgame
There are 16,500 hospitals around the world according to Cybermetrics Lab. Apparently, due to the fact that the Avengers franchise have created such a massive cult, 70% hospitals around the world had to stop their treatments, operations, medical supp...
Read full story"Lewis Hamilton Isn't That Good" Claims Ageing Scalextric Driver
"Don't give me that 'five-time Formula One World Champion' bullshit. Hamilton's got the best car and the Mercedes team manager doesn't let Valtteri Bottas beat him. It's a fix," claimed Mr Paxton Quigley, former number one driver for Scalextric Team...
Read full storyWombles In The Recording Studio Again
The Wombles, the chart-topping supergroup refuse collectors who had smash hit singles all the way through the 1970s, are back in the recording studios for a reunion recording that promises to eclipse everything else they've done before. Comprising...
Read full storyBritain's cummerbund industry expecting post-Brexit boom
While many are predicting doom and gloom after Britain leaves the EU, at least one industry is hoping that it will thrive in the new order. Cummerbunds are worn by everyone from waiters to butlers, to people who have to hire one for a formal event. T...
Read full storyOnce More, Bill Barr, Undo the Breach in the Mueller Report
From the quill of Nancy Pelosi, [with apologies to Henry V and William Shakespeare.] To Attorney General Barr: Thou should doubt not that your loyal opposition in this House will prevail in our effort to obtain an unredacted copy of the Mueller...
Read full storyNerds angry at ending of fantasy TV show
Epic fantasy TV show Wangs, Puppies and Other Mythical Beasts has come to an end after nearly 10 years. It has become one of the most popular TV programmes in the world, and has built up a fanbase so large that it even includes normal people. Nerd...
Read full storyDanny Baker Mulling-Over Spoof Invitation
Danny Baker, the former BBC radio presenter, sacked by the BBC on Thursday for tweeting an inappropriate picture of Prince Harry and his wife Meghan with a chimp, says he is giving "serious consideration" to an invitation to join satirical news websi...
Read full storyMan Judged Book By Its Cover
It's sound advice the world over, but one man disregarded it at the weekend, and went straight ahead and committed himself to something he might have been better advised to have put off until he'd had time to do some more research. "Never judge a...
Read full storyWorld's most hated whale safe from extinction
The South Arctic Thick-beaked Ass Whale has been registered as endangered since 1961, but is now safe from extinction, according to the UN Whale Counting Board. The Thick-beaked Ass Whale is peculiar for its hideous appearance and for being the only...
Read full storyPalestine To Compete In Eurovision Song Contest For The First Time
It's that time of year again, when Europe's best singers congregate in one place and sing their hearts out for no real reason at the Eurovision Song Contest, and this year, a historic occasion presents itself with the debut in the contest of a compet...
Read full storyBritain's toilet addiction is out of control
The toilet may appear to be an unassuming receptacle for our bodily waste, a friendly porcelain mouth ready to accept our vilest produce. Yet there are people for whom it can be dangerously addictive, to the point of obsession. Karen Jefferson, 47...
Read full storyFBI - CIA “Honey Pot” Operation Falls Flat On Its Face
BILLINGSGATE POST: Slim said he saw it coming: Pretty face, nice ass, low cut blouse with revealing cleavage; her 'come hither' smile said it all. In the Looking-Glass War led by Comey, Clapper and Brennan, against the forces of President Trump,...
Read full storySomeone At Uthiefa Got Massive Bung For Insane Baku Pick
London, UK - (Offside Rule): Football fans are rightly pissed at an insane Uthiefa decision to host this year’s cup final in crappy Baku. Azerbaijan’s capital city lies in a part of Western Asia best known for its lack of airport. Or a fixed runw...
Read full storyJoe Biden Proposes Tax On 4 Hour Erections To Fund Medicare For All
BILLINGSGATE POST: Live from Des Moines, Iowa: Former Vice-President Joe Biden, still recovering from a partial lobotomy and hair transplant, was asked by rogue reporter, Slim Everdingle, how he was going to fund his Medicare for all program. Po...
Read full storyHard-of-Hearing Prodigy Tribute Band Booed Off Stage
"I can't understand it, I am sure we heard somewhere that the late Keith Flint suffered from extreme flatulence," said Ryan Skint, vocalist and dancer with Prodigy tribute band Proctology after he and his three-piece band were booed off stage at Madr...
Read full storySpanish Squash Champion Unhappy at Vibrator Prize
Female participants in a squash championship in northern Spain were awarded a vibrator, wax and a kit to remove foot calluses, leading to a debate about sexism in sport. There were resignations at the organising club after the top women players of...
Read full storyMinestrone fad still spreading
To most adults, minestrone is a vomit-textured soup available in a packet from all cheap supermarkets. But to youngsters and hipsters, it is the latest craze in gaming. Minestrone is the world's most popular video game on mobile phones. The aim of...
Read full storyPresident Trump Has Forgotten About Mexican Border Wall
President Donald Trump, lately inundated with distractions, and literally besieged with problems, has, according to those closest to him, forgotten about the silly, old Mexican border wall. What with all the furore about the Mueller Report, redact...
Read full storyTrump A Busted Flush In UK Premiership Football Club Scam
London, UK - (Offside Mess): Mighty property mogul Donald J Trump failed miserably in an attempted 2014 ‘compulsory purchase’ plan to take over a top flight UK Premier League club, a former linesman said today. The scam started with a fake bankers...
Read full storyMosquito In Sink Was Already Dead
A man who went to wash his hands in a wash basin was surprised to find a mosquito, apparently sleeping but, on closer inspection, the malaria-spreading killer creature turned out to have expired. Moys Kenwood, 55, was rinsing his hands to rid them...
Read full storyBlacklisp Spoiler
Hollow Wood, CA - Our Blacklisp source, janitor Moppet Buckae, stopped by my desk this morning and dropped off a script copy of the finale of the Blacklisp. It’s the most ridiculous episode yet, but very believable. Dumboy returns just in ti...
Read full storyDavid Beckham Has More Points In The Last Month Than Manchester United
Manchester United's disappointing season finally comes to a close this weekend, with the news that former player, David Beckham, has picked up more points in the last month than they have. Beckham, 44, picked up six points at Bromley Magistrates C...
Read full storyStar Wars Chewbacca Was Really An Actor In A Monkey Suit
A myth that has surrounded the Star Wars franchise for more than forty years was busted wide open yesterday with the news that the Wookiee character, Chewbacca, was actually a man dressed in a monkey suit! The story broke after the sad news of the...
Read full storyAmazingly Mesmerizing Memes
Memes can make a mediocre memo mesmerizing. The mere mentioning of the mensches in a meme can motivate mental memories of magnificent majesty and motivate mockery of a magnificent magnitude. Memes can magnify malignant satire to a soaring scale that...
Read full storyMan Found James Joyce Novel 'Ulysses' Heavy Going, And Gave It Up As A Bad Job
There are books, and there are 'books', literary accomplishments that set them apart from the rest, that stand out like shining beacons of light on a hilltop, or a cliff's edge, or somewhere lofty like that. You know what I mean. 'Ulysses' by...
Read full storyMelania Trump Applies for Political Asylum in Mexico
Mexico City - Mexico - "I want to "Be Best" just like my program for youth in America, but sadly I cannot Be Best when I am with the orange moth. Like a moth he is drawn to every light and runs into walls and flails his wings until he hits the ground...
Read full storyPep Guardiola Told That Manchester City Must Improve If He Is To Keep His Job
Pep Guardiola, Manchester City's Spanish coach, has been warned by the club's owners that his future is 'in the balance', and the team must show a significant improvement next year if he wants to keep his job. Guardiola has brought unprecedented b...
Read full storyKraftwerk Gig Voted 'Best Of All Time'
A gig by electronic pioneers Kraftwerk at Berlin's Rockpalast venue in 1970, has been voted 'Best Concert Of All Time', by a man with a sense of irony. The gig, performed in front of an audience of around 200 unsuspecting German music fans, was th...
Read full storyNorth Korean Missile Lands In Man's Back Garden
A man in the Battambang commune of Tapon has told of how he and his family were rudely awoken on Sunday morning, after a missile originating from North Korea landed in the back garden of his property. Moys Kenwood, 55, was shaken from his slumbers...
Read full storyAyatollah Mocked For ‘Stupid Meghan Markle Hat’
Tehran, Iran - (Dire Straits of Hormuz): Iranian fashionistas are up in arms after their president was ordered to get a sartorial make-over by Tehran’s notorious Gast-e-Ersad morality police. An entry in their FarsiFarceBook page has slammed Presi...
Read full storyUnhappy Couple Role-Play Themselves into Relationship Success
After dating seriously for almost two years, Ray Campbell and Monique DuBois of Brooklyn, New York, found that their relationship had deteriorated to the extent that they could scarcely stand the sight of each other. Out of sheer desperation, they tu...
Read full storyFootball Gossip: Bale, Rangers and Jellied Eels
Gareth Bale has told his team-mates he doesn't care about manager Zinedine Zidane's treatment of him and intends to see out the remainder of his contract at Real Madrid. Bale says he will be happy to stay and 'play golf' if not selected to play as he...
Read full storyTrump Trip Off As Deadly Trompette Fungus Materialises In American Ambassador’s Plumbing
London, UK - (Trompe l’Oeil Mess): A lethal fungal eruption on Woody Johnson’s lush front turd - uh, turf - has thrown into doubt next month’s Trump visit the US embassy’s resident toxicologist said today. Spores from the ‘Trompette de la Mort’ (...
Read full storyAlabama Legalizes Rape
In a landmark ruling that is sure to have a knock-on effect all across the country, and possibly the world, the state of Alabama legislature today passed a new law that makes it now completely legal to have sex with a woman, even if it is against her…
Read full storyAd Exec Plans to Start Living in Present Moment Very Soon
"The present moment is the only place we have any hope of finding happiness or peace," said Olivia Mancini, a high-level advertising executive at a major Manhattan firm, as she explained her affinity for Buddhism and its teachings. "And I'm going to...
Read full storyMan Has Aspirations Of Being An International Spoof Playboy
A writer of online spoof stories says he hasn't yet given up hope of becoming famous and living the jet-set life of an international spoof superstar playboy. Others say he is wasting his time. Moys Kenwood, who writes endless pieces of pap for...
Read full storyAflac Duck Lays Egg, Files Sexual Identity Suit
Columbus, Georgia. Special to The Spoof. The duck who has served as the television commercial mascot for the Aflac insurance company for twenty years has started laying eggs. While ducks lay eggs, an attorney hired by the duck in a sexual discrimi...
Read full storyMidlands Couple Caught Shafting In Bus Shelter
There were calls for extra police patrols after midnight in residential areas today, after officers arrested a young couple who were 'doing the dirty' in a bus shelter on their way home from a night out. The couple - who have not been named, to av...
Read full storyTrump sits with hand on phone waiting for call from Iran
In an interview with The Guard Dog at The White House, Mr. Trump said, "All they have to do is call me,” Mr. Trump said. The phone was in his lap at this point. The Guard Dog then asked: “But, sir, there are reports all over mainstream media to...
Read full storyMan Might Have Fallen Foul Of Mafia Crime Bosses
Keeping one's head down and maintaining a low profile, especially when in a foreign country, is always a good idea, but one man thinks he may have overstepped his boundaries after he received an unexpected gift from an as-yet unknown benefactor. M...
Read full storyLone Ranger Admits to Being More of an Introvert
“I know I seem to always getting into the thick of things with outlaws and what-not,” said the Lone Ranger, “but at heart I’m really more of an introvert." The news came as a great surprise to the many who’d previously considered the legendary her...
Read full storyGareth Bale To Dispense With 'Man Bun'
Gareth Bale, the Real Madrid footballer who is looking for a new club to play for after rumours that the Spanish giants are to replace him, is to have his 'man bun' removed, and face the music of baldness. The Welshman has used the stick-on dollop...
Read full storyThe Wonderful World Of Uninteresting Animals #3: The Three-toed Sloth
Welcome again to the Wonderful World of Uninteresting Animals, and, for the third insipid instalment in the series, we're going to talk a bit about the Three-toed Sloth, and how it has come to be known as the laziest bastardo in South America. Ind...
Read full storyPep Guardiola Had 'A Lump In His Throat' For Watford At Final Whistle
Victorious Manchester City coach, Pep Guardiola, has said he had a lump in his throat "the size of a Seville orange" at the end of the FA Cup final, after his team had trounced underdogs, Watford, 6-0 at Wembley Stadium. City outclassed the Hornet...
Read full storyTrump Pardons Racehorse, Blames Robert Mueller As Maximum Security Bombs
Louisville, Kentucky - Racecourse stewards ‘in league with Special Counsel Robert Mueller’ likely robbed 9-2 Kentucky Derby pick Maximum Security of victory, a presidential spokesperson said today. Trump reportedly lost a packet backing the Jason...
Read full storyGame Of Thrones: Fans Will March On Winterfell If Final Series Is Not Rewritten
Incensed fans of Game Of Thrones, who have demanded that series 8 should undergo a complete rewrite because it's not what they wanted, say that, if the entire series is not rewritten immediately, they will join forces and march on Winterfell. View...
Read full storyGirl's T-shirt Was 'A Bit Much' To Be Honest
A girl sat in the waiting area of an internationally-recognized English language school, was wearing a T-shirt with a message that was, it has to be said, 'slightly out of the ordinary'. The girl, aged about 13, was wearing the white T-shirt embla...
Read full storyTartare Sauce Had Reached Its Expiry Date 'Some Time Ago'
There are some meals that are just not the same without their sauces, and fish and chips is one of these, but when one diner went to add his tartare sauce to his fish, he found something rather unappetising waiting for him. Moys Kenwood, 55, a fis...
Read full storyOur All-Hearing Drones Succeed Once Again! We Eavesdrop On The Latest Trump – Putin Phone Call!
Still undetected by the CIA or the KGB, our seemingly undetectable drones have this time crashed the phone call our feckless leader made to dear,old Uncle Putin the other day. We could analyze it and pre-masticate it before feeding it to you like FOX...
Read full storyLaw Firm Mistakenly Gives Company Umbrella to Non-Employee Cleaning Woman
Partners at internationally acclaimed mergers and acquisitions firm Shrinks, Globe & Greid, LLP, were chagrined when, as part of the firm's annual Employee Appreciation Week, an intern in their Manhattan office mistakenly distributed a company um...
Read full storyWay Is Now Open For Jussie Smollett To Become The New Chewbacca
When telecommunications pioneer Alexander Graham Bell spoke the famous words "When one door closes, another door opens", he couldn't possibly have had Jussie Smollett in mind, but those were precisely the words that would have been ringing in the dis...
Read full storyCerne Abbas Giant Downs Tool in Image Rights Protest
"If Premier League footballers can benefit from selling the use of their image, then why can't I?" asked John Thomas Hardwicke, alias the Cerne Abbas Giant, in conversation with The Spoof at his Dorset home. "For years and years, since the inventi...
Read full storyAnnoying Trend of Nationalist Machine Gun Talking
The smoke signal is one of the oldest forms of long-distance communication. It is a form of visual communication used over long distance. In general, smoke signals are used to transmit news, signal danger, or gather people to a common area.(source: W...
Read full story