Man Deliberated For Too Long

Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 1 May 2019

image for Man Deliberated For Too Long
He was forced to be philosophical as he lumbered off to the toy shop.

A man who was in two minds as to whether or not he should buy a pair of Adidas trainers he had seen in the window of a charity shop, decided to "have a think" about it, and was, subsequently left disappointed when he returned to the shop later to find that someone else had already bought them.

The man, Moys Kenwood, was in Hull town center during a short break in England, and saw the trainers - a pair of Adidas Handball Spezial - which appeared to be in pristine condition, for the price of only £5. They were even in a size 8!

He checked himself, however.

"Five pounds is five pounds," he thought, and multiplied this by one hundred to consider how many pennies it was.

Next, he calculated how long in 'minutes of work' the trainers were going to cost him. This amounted to 60, or, as it's sometimes known, an 'hour'.

He then equated the £5 figure with other things he could buy for the same price: a bus ticket to Phnom Penh; an intimate meal for his wife and himself; a doll with beautiful clothes for his daughter; a ride-on toy car for his son.

Finally, he considered whether or not the purchase of the trainers was absolutely necessary, bearing in mind he already had several other pairs of trainers, and that he never really got the chance to wear trainers much these days, anyway.

"But they are a beautiful item," he told himself.

He quickly retraced his steps, but sensed an impending disaster when he noticed the shoes were no longer in the window. A quick enquiry made to the olde bidus manning the counter confirmed his worst fears: some bloke had bought the trainers not five minutes since.

He had dithered, and the moment had gone.

He was forced to be philosophical as he lumbered off to the toy shop.

"Everything happens for a reason," he thought to himself, flashing glances of hatred at fellow shoppers.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more