BILLINGSGATE POST: Slim said he saw it coming: Pretty face, nice ass, low cut blouse with revealing cleavage; her 'come hither' smile said it all.
In the Looking-Glass War led by Comey, Clapper and Brennan, against the forces of President Trump, the stakes couldn’t have been higher. First, there was the phony dossier that had two Moscow hookers peeing on Trump’s hotel bed; classic and classless at the same time.
Slim Everdingle thought he had seen it all. The chick was right out of Playboy. Her bee-stung lips didn’t open. They didn’t have to. The “Hello Sucker” was implied. Her magnificent cleavage reminded Slim of the confluence of the Allegheny and Monongahela Rivers as they formed the Ohio River at Pittsburgh. Her name was Azra Turk. She had it all. More than enough to please a hayseed from Nebraska.
Dirty: “Do you think that she wanted to throw some leg on you, Dude? Maybe test your concupiscible appetite?”
“If that's what they had in mind, they should have set me up with Dolly the Sheep. I could have used my Montana Pole.”
“What’s that, Dude?”
“It’s an old pitchfork handle with a mirror dangling from one end. You hang it in front of the sheep’s head to see if she’s smiling. Invented by some cowboy from Montana.”
“Yo Dude. Sounds like fun.”
Slim: “Ezra was a real espionage pro. She knew my favorite cocktail: Bombay martini. A whiff of vermouth. Shaken, not stirred.”
“Everdingle, Slim, that is.”
Dirty: “How did you figure it was a honey pot scheme?”
“This guy, Stefan Halper. He said he was a professor at Cambridge. He was wearing a F*CK TRUMP baseball cap. A dead giveaway.”
“How about Ezra’s Honey Pot?”
“Smelled more of Hazelnut than honey. Very subtle. She asked me if the Trump campaign was working with Russia.”
Dirty: “Right out of the Comey, Brennan and Clapper playbook. What a collection of morons. Makes the Three Stooges look like geniuses.
Slim: “You didn’t ask. But no. I didn’t get into her knickers.”