Pep Guardiola Had 'A Lump In His Throat' For Watford At Final Whistle

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 19 May 2019

image for Pep Guardiola Had 'A Lump In His Throat' For Watford At Final Whistle
Guardiola was choking back tears after his team pulverised Watford

Victorious Manchester City coach, Pep Guardiola, has said he had a lump in his throat "the size of a Seville orange" at the end of the FA Cup final, after his team had trounced underdogs, Watford, 6-0 at Wembley Stadium.

City outclassed the Hornets from the start, and Sir Elton John's boys were lucky it was not more of a drubbing.

But Spaniard Guardiola was magnanimous in victory. He said:

"I felt sorry for Watford, and for Elton. It's the FA Cup final, and the whole world is watching. It was embarrassing for them. After the sixth goal went in, I just wanted the referee to blow the whistle, to end their pain."

But the referee didn't blow the whistle, and Watford fans had to endure several more minutes of torture, along with Guardiola, who said:

"It was sad for Sir Elton. I respect him. He's made so many great albums."

Sir Elton had been updated with scorelines during a concert he was giving in Copenhagen, but had to be carried offstage by security staff when Raheem Sterling cemented the crushing defeat by making it 6-0.

A philosophical Pep said:

"There has to be a winner, and there has to be a loser, but there doesn't have to be an annihilation. What you saw out there was heartbreaking. I know our fans were shouting 'We want 10!', but I think half-a-dozen was enough."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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