London, UK - (Offside Rule): Football fans are rightly pissed at an insane Uthiefa decision to host this year’s cup final in crappy Baku.
Azerbaijan’s capital city lies in a part of Western Asia best known for its lack of airport. Or a fixed runway. Or, for that matter, any proper planes.
In just over two weeks’ time its famous Olympic Stadium will be swarming with 68,700 footie fans - 62,700 of them locals and the rest from London as 6,000 diehard Chelsea and Arsenal supporters arrive for the Cup.
The six-day, £10,000 journey from Wembley Stadium will likely be made by boat and train before a gruelling 48-hour donkey ride through the Novichok Peninsula.
Anti-rabies jabs are strongly advised.
Travel officials are also urging Brits to take precautions as they transit eastern Ukraine where Russian-backed rebels are pissing all over Ukrainian troops in a landgrab spat started by Putin.
Return journey coach rides via ‘picturesque’ Northern Siberia are available on request.