Someone At Uthiefa Got Massive Bung For Insane Baku Pick

Funny story written by queen mudder

Friday, 10 May 2019

image for Someone At Uthiefa Got Massive Bung For Insane Baku Pick
Baku Olympic Stadium a right old dump

London, UK - (Offside Rule): Football fans are rightly pissed at an insane Uthiefa decision to host this year’s cup final in crappy Baku.

Azerbaijan’s capital city lies in a part of Western Asia best known for its lack of airport. Or a fixed runway. Or, for that matter, any proper planes.

In just over two weeks’ time its famous Olympic Stadium will be swarming with 68,700 footie fans - 62,700 of them locals and the rest from London as 6,000 diehard Chelsea and Arsenal supporters arrive for the Cup.

The six-day, £10,000 journey from Wembley Stadium will likely be made by boat and train before a gruelling 48-hour donkey ride through the Novichok Peninsula.

Anti-rabies jabs are strongly advised.

Travel officials are also urging Brits to take precautions as they transit eastern Ukraine where Russian-backed rebels are pissing all over Ukrainian troops in a landgrab spat started by Putin.

Return journey coach rides via ‘picturesque’ Northern Siberia are available on request.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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