Muslim Prostitute Arrested In West Yorkshire Town

Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 31 May 2019

image for Muslim Prostitute Arrested In West Yorkshire Town
The scarlet lady stands flaunting her wares

Police in West Yorkshire who arrested a Muslim woman on charges of prostitution after she was seen loitering on a street corner dressed in seductive Muslim-style garb, had to call for specialist lifting equipment when the woman steadfastly refused to cooperate, and stood her ground.

The incident took place in Dewsbury near Leeds, and eventually involved 75 officers, who had to phone their wives to say they were on a 'difficult case', and would be late home for their tea.

Two officers on duty encountered the woman in a residential area around 3pm yesterday, and initially asked her to move along, but when the woman neither responded nor acknowledged their presence, the situation escalated. Advice was sought, and back-up was called for, and a special Arabic-speaking mediator arrived on the scene, but the woman stood as still and silent as that big, black, stone monolith thing at Mecca, except that she wore red.

After two hours spent in vain trying to move her to get her into a police van, a local drilling company was called to excavate the area around the woman so that she could be taken away for cautioning.

She was finally unearthed from her position at around 7:30pm, and additionally charged in connection with attempting to steal the Queen's mail.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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