Delia Smith Is Going To Bake A Special Cake To Celebrate Norwich City Being Promoted

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 8 May 2019

image for Delia Smith Is Going To Bake A Special Cake To Celebrate Norwich City Being Promoted
Only one of these birds was used in the baking of the cake

TV celebrity cook, Delia Smith, is to bake a special celebration cake for the players and staff of Norwich City after the Championship team secured promotion to the Premier League.

Norwich is in Norfolk.

Smith, 77, who has been a supporter of the Canaries for a long time, has a majority shareholding in the club, along with her husband. She said:

"I'm so thrilled, that I plan to make a cake, probably lemon sponge, topped with fondant lemon icing, with lime-flavored cream swirls on the top, and filled with lemon-soaked fresh cream! It's going to have lemon and lime segments around the top, and it'll be wonderful and fluffy!"

She denied there will be any canary in it.

Norwich City play at Carrow Road in canary-yellow shirts with green trim, green shorts with canary-yellow trim, and canary-yellow socks with green trim. It's enough to make you puke.

Delia, who has an exclamation mark after everything she says, has very helpfully provided the recipe for her cake, so that even those readers who don't support Norwich can bake one. Here it is:

15 cups all-purpose flour, (1900g)
10 tsp baking powder
5 tsp salt
5 cups unsalted butter, room temperature (675g)
10 cups granulated sugar, (2000g)
20 large eggs, room temperature
10 tsp vanilla extract
Zest of 10 lemons
Peelings of 10 lemons for extra zest
A canary (less the beak, eyes and legs)

Delia said:

"It's rather a big cake, but it is promotion to the Premier League we're talking about! I hope nobody gets nauseous and vomits!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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