Trump Sparks Diplomatic Incident After Sumo Challenge

Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 26 May 2019

image for Trump Sparks Diplomatic Incident After Sumo Challenge
These blokes don't look very Japanese, if you ask me

President Donald Trump's visit to Japan got off to a controversial start in Tokyo today, when he sparked a diplomatic incident after a Sumo wrestler challenged the president to get into the ring with him, and 'have a grapple'.

'Have a grapple' is the English translation of the traditional Japanese term 'gurappuru o motte iru', meaning 'have a grapple'.

Sumo champion, 25-year-old Asanoyama, won his fight at the Summer Grand Sumo Tournament, and, with Trump looking on amongst the spectators, beat his chest and motioned to the US president to enter the ring.

He had a very serious face.

Mr Trump looked stunned, but quickly regained his composure as he said:

"I'd love to oblige you fellas. I've always found this sport fascinating - if, in fact, you could call it a sport - but the president of the United States does not wear a diaper - at least, not in public."

The crowd went silent. Then boos filled the hall, and spectators started to hurl chopsticks toward Mr. Trump. The president reacted my grabbing his crotch, and thrusting forward like Michael Jackson used to do, and the crowd whistled with derision, even though most Japanese are Michael Jackson fans.

Later, Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe notified the American delegation that a Diplomatic Incident had been sparked, and that they should all adjourn to a Grilled Fish restaurant to diffuse the situation.

Mr. Abe advised Mr. Trump that the Fugu is particularly good there.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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