Trump A Busted Flush In UK Premiership Football Club Scam

Written by queen mudder

Thursday, 9 May 2019

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Pssst....Wanna buy a top UK premiership footie club?

London, UK - (Offside Mess): Mighty property mogul Donald J Trump failed miserably in an attempted 2014 ‘compulsory purchase’ plan to take over a top flight UK Premier League club, a former linesman said today.

The scam started with a fake bankers draft in his Turdberry Golf Course purchase, drawn on Ayrshire’s mysterious - and bankrupt - Bonnie Prince Charlie Sperm Deposit Bank.

“Trump was quickly rumbled,” the ex-linesman explained as he recalled the escalation of suspicions about Trump’s supporting ‘Lordship of the Manor’ claims to a lucrative stretch of North London whose ancient manorial football kicking rights are enshrined in Royal Charter.

From none other than Good Queen Cess - uh, Bess - herself.

Of course that land-grab also failed with Royal Caughts of Justice judges describing the lawsuit as a ‘pile of stinking garbage’ - copied and pasted from a Thiefa - football’s international governing body - website.

Those sprawling North London acres now showcase what’s probably the world’s finest footie stadium.

“Someone somewhere has all the documentation proving Trump a brazen liar,” the former linesman added, “just in case Robert Mueller still needs a helping hand.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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