Nashville Man Becomes a Stoic

Written by Chrissy Benson

Thursday, 30 May 2019

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"No problem, dude. I'm a Stoic," is Ben Foley's new failsafe response to the difficulties of life.

In the grand tradition of Roman emperor/philosopher Marcus Aurelius, Ben Foley of Nashville, Tennessee, decided to become a Stoic.

"I dig it," said Foley of his new way of life. "It's chill. Steady, as my man Marcus liked to say."

Foley explained that it was the general lack of pleasure in his life that prompted him to pursue this particular life path. "I wasn't getting the chicks, the dough, the flash, the fame, the kudos," sad Foley, one of the countless singer/songwriters struggling to make a name for themselves in Music City. "It kind of blew."

Marcus Aurelius's Meditations, however, taught Foley that he could be cool with the difficulties of life - and superficial external gratifications like celebrity and good fortune were to be shunned.

"I was already shunning them involuntarily," said Foley. "So that was no problem for me."

According to Foley, his new life philosophy is really working for him. "I feel much more Zen," he said. "And anytime someone blows me off or disappoints me in any way, I just say, 'No problem, dude. I'm a Stoic.' Pretty badass, right?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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