Elton John Carried Offstage In Copenhagen After Watford FA Cup Annihilation

Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 19 May 2019

image for Elton John Carried Offstage In Copenhagen After Watford FA Cup Annihilation
Elton left the stage without his trademark red spectacles

Sir Elton John had to be helped off the stage during a concert in Copenhagen last night, as updates he was receiving about the scoreline from the FA Cup final match at Wembley Stadium between Watford and Manchester City were making him more and more ill.

Elton has been the owner of Watford since he was a young boy, and cried when Everton beat the Hornets 2-0 in their only other Cup final appearance in 1986, or whenever it was.

Fearing the worst, he had decided not to cancel the gig at Copenhagen's Royal Arena and played to an ecstatic audience of 5,000 fans.

From the start, however, he was nervous, and kept glancing at the screen of a small laptop placed on top of his piano. He rolled his eyes as Silva gave City the lead in the 26th minute, and then looked visibly annoyed when Gabriel Jesus but them 2-0 up before the break.

From then on, it was painful. After the break, the lead increased to 3-0, then 4-0. Elton winced, and the singer's voice started to crack, and quiver.

Several incorrect notes were played.

Sir Elton drank some water.

He started to look dishevelled as Raheem Sterling put the Sky Blues 5-0 up, and tears welled-up behind his glasses, which needed to be wiped. The pianist's faltering fingers started to hammer away at the keys.

It wasn't over yet, though. The same player made it 6-0, and Sir Elton stopped playing, then slammed the lid of the piano shut as the audience tried to make sense of the situation. Then, Sir Elton put his head between his hands, and rested his elbows on his instrument, as he wept openly. He then slid to the floor, writhing, as if appealing for a penalty.

Security men leapt onto the stage, and carried the bereft Elton away, to boos from his fans.

Later reports said he was shaken, and stirred.

And annihilated.

The final score from Wembley Stadium: Manchester City 6 Sir Elton John 0

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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