Offending People Online - Your Guide

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 2 May 2019

image for Offending People Online - Your Guide
Have I offended you, or is this how you react when asked to kiss a cock?

Offending people, something folk once went out of their way to avoid doing, so unpalatable were the consequences, is no longer taboo, and is now a fashionable, not to say 'pleasurable', thing to do.

People nowadays become offended at anything.

With the advent of social media, and Facebook and Twitter, annoying other people has never been easier, particularly if you have a vile sense of humor, or a warped way of looking at everyday things.

Expressing your appreciation of a picture of a cute kitten is often enough to ruffle the feathers of some people on social media, and any kind of 'discussion' on the matter can quickly become an international incident.

People's dinners, too, can arouse fiery emotions in the unsuspecting.

A cherished photograph, particularly of the poster and one of the poster's children, can be a surefire opportunity to upset a sensitive person, and assertive opinions about the Royal family, celebrities, politicians, and TV or sports stars are the proverbial 'red rag to a bull'.

It's even possible that some sensitive people will have been mildly offended by the caption for the picture above!

In layman's terms, offering the merest mundane opinion on social media, has become the online equivalent of meeting someone's eyes across a crowded bar just before last orders, resulting in the obligatory:

"What you fucking looking at?"

Just as the swaying, drunken lout will not, under any circumstances, be persuaded that you weren't looking at anything, the offended party will always believe offence was meant, whether or not this is true. This is backed up by statistics. In a survey of sixty drunken louts, all said they would not be persuaded that you weren't looking at anything, and would become super-offended, which would probably lead to fisticuffs.

Online, of course, there are no fisticuffs, but the old adage that "sticks and stones may break my bones, but calling never hurts me" needs a further evaluation here. Calling, or to use the modern-day term, 'personal abuse', really DOES hurt, if we are to believe the reactions of some users online. The merest bit of name-calling can trigger a dispute, which then turns into an argument, a heated argument, more sustained and serious name-calling, warnings, threats of violence and so on, until either Facebook puts a stop to it, or 'an incident' takes place.

Some people go online expressly for the purpose of upsetting others - trolls. They roam around the internet picking arguments wherever they see an 'easy target', and let fly with their vitriol. Sensitive users quickly 'cave in', and the troll moves on, but, sometimes, the troll may meet a more worthy opponent, and war is declared.

Don't you just love social media?

You ugly turd.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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