Football Gossip: Bale, Rangers and Jellied Eels

Funny story written by Paxton Quigley

Thursday, 23 May 2019

image for Football Gossip: Bale, Rangers and Jellied Eels
Gareth Bale "Shitloads of money".

Gareth Bale has told his team-mates he doesn't care about manager Zinedine Zidane's treatment of him and intends to see out the remainder of his contract at Real Madrid. Bale says he will be happy to stay and 'play golf' if not selected to play as he is being paid "shitloads of money".

See: Winston Bogarde

New Scotland manager Steve Clarke has vowed to defy the people who warned him that managing the national team could be a "career killer". Clarke told The Spoof "I've been manager of Kilmarnock, so I can't go any lower".

Various items of food were among objects thrown into the disabled section at Old Trafford by West Ham fans during their fixture on 13 April. A Manchester United Disabled Supporters Association representative complained "The West Ham game resulted in a number of missiles being thrown into the disabled section, including jellied eels and a giant sausage."

Former Ibrox midfielder Charlie Adam has said that Rangers only need "three or four" signings to challenge Celtic for the title next season and those signings are Lionel Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo and Eden Hazard.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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