There were 205 spoof news stories published in January 2020. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Cristiano Ronaldo: I Feel So Sorry For Wayne Rooney
They were once the scourge of many a Premier League defence whilst playing for Manchester United, but the careers of Wayne Rooney and Cristiano Ronaldo have taken different paths recently, with the Portuguese star saying he now feels sorry for the fo...
Read full storyLiverpool To Be Crowned Premier League Champions Tonight
In an unprecedented, and landmark action in the history of the Football League earlier today, it was announced that Liverpool are to be crowned Premier League champions at midnight tonight, despite nearly half of the season still remaining. The Re...
Read full storyCoronavirus 'Antidote' Found
Scientists in China working on finding a cure for the new and deadly Coronavirus have said they have already made a major discovery in their fight. They say that, as well as taking the regular precautions against a worldwide pandemic, people shoul...
Read full storyJohn Bolton To Replace Ole Gunnar Solskjaer As Manager of Manchester United
BILLINGSGATE POST: Rumors of Ole Gunnar Solskjaer’s demise as manager of Manchester United’s troubled team have been circulating for months. Just last week, crack Spoof reporter, Monkey Woods, predicted Ole would soon be beating the bricks looking f...
Read full storyManchester United's Harry Maguire Buys Custom-Made Captain's Armband Out Of His Own Money
It's a very big responsibility being the captain of any football team, and Manchester United central defender, Harry Maguire, set out as he meant to go on yesterday, after he found the captain's armband was not to his liking - he went out and bought...
Read full storyIntelligence quotient level at London Brexit celebration expected to mirror 1960s chimp's tea party
A recent survey carried out by Swansea University has found that the average level of intelligence per attendee at the forthcoming Brexit celebratory gathering in Parliament Square on January 31st will be roughly on a par with that of one of the chim...
Read full storyManchester United: Old Trafford Empty At Final Whistle
Manchester United boss, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, will face further pressure on his position in the morning, after his lacklustre side caved-in and lost at home to Burnley tonight, with the fans showing their total disgust about the performance by walkin...
Read full storyManchester United's Harry Maguire Challenges Liverpool's Andy Robertson To A Snooker Match
They played in the same Premier League team in 2017, but central defender, Harry Maguire, and left-back, Andy Robertson, have gone up in the world since then, and the two friends are now star players for Manchester United and Liverpool, respectively.
Read full storyManchester United: Defeat Against Norwich Will Be Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's Last Match
Manchester United go into a crucial match against bottom-of-the-table Norwich City at Old Trafford this afternoon, knowing that a defeat would almost certainly bring down the curtain on Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's managerial reign. After Wednesday's hu...
Read full storyLiverpool: Are The Wheels Coming Off?
They might remain unbeaten in the Premier League this season, but, after barely surviving a nervous last half-hour at Shrewsbury Town yesterday, some football pundits are asking "have Liverpool finally cracked?" The 4th-round tie at Gay Meadow aga...
Read full storyCristiano Ronaldo Scores Seventh Hat-trick In As Many Games
Former Manchester United star, Cristiano Ronaldo, is tearing up the record books in Italy, where, on Sunday, he scored three goals in a match for the seventh consecutive game, Juventus losing 2-1 to Napoli. Last week, Juventus beat Roma 3-1 to to...
Read full storyManchester United's Harry Maguire Victim Of Anonymous Prank After Someone Shits In His Football Boots
An investigation is underway at Old Trafford this evening, after it was found that Manchester United and England central defender, Harry Maguire, had become the unwitting victim of a senseless and evil prank, and that some filthy animal had taken a s...
Read full storyManchester United Want To Play Manchester City At The Etihad Every Week
They may be having a poor campaign by their own high standards, but Manchester United's season hasn't been a total loss - they've managed to beat their city rivals, Manchester City, twice at the Etihad Stadium, and would really like to play the same...
Read full storyManchester United: Tranmere FA Cup Trip Will Be The End For Solskjaer
Tranmere Rovers, who were playing non-League football as recently as , overcame Premier League Watford in their FA Cup fourth-round replay last night, and now have the chance to bring the curtain down on Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's chequered managerial ca...
Read full storyManchester United Boss Ole Gunnar Solskjaer Takes Responsibility For Piss Poor Show At Wolves
Manchester United boss, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, was quick to accept responsibility for his team's poor showing in their FA Cup 3rd-round tie against Wolverhampton Wanderers at Molineux yesterday, the match ending 0-0, with United failing to register a...
Read full storyHands Off The Threads, Creep
BILLINGSGATE POST: It was right out of Guys and Dolls. Nathan Detroit was Frank Sinatra, and Frank Sinatra was Nathan Detroit. This was in 1955, when girls were broads because they didn’t know no different. They smoked cigarettes, wore pink dresses…
Read full storyThe Queen To Take Over From Ray Winstone As New Face Of Bet365
In an effort to shake off her royal shackles, and to 'get real' in the world of work, Buckingham Palace has announced that Her Majesty the Queen has been offered a position in advertising, and will take over the role presently occupied by former acto...
Read full storyLiverpool Out To Get Manchester United Boss Ole Gunnar Solskjaer The Sack
It's one of the biggest rivalries in football, and when Liverpool take on Manchester United at Anfield on Sunday, the hosts will be putting in an extra special effort to put United to the sword, by trouncing them and getting their Norwegian boss, Ole...
Read full storyManchester United Captain Harry Maguire Seen Mincing In Arndale Centre
Excited and amazed shoppers stood and gawped in the Manchester Arndale Centre last Saturday afternoon, as the Manchester United and England central defender, Harry Maguire - ostensibly on a shopping trip - passed amongst them executing a perfect minc...
Read full storyFlybe To Offer New Service To Oblivion
Troubled UK airline, Flybe, in the midst of financial catastrophe, has, this morning, announced plans to offer passengers a new service with flights to an increasingly popular destination - Oblivion. The airline has crippling debts, and cannot loo...
Read full storyManchester United Boss Ole Gunnar Solskjaer Wants To Be Kept On 'In Some Capacity'
Beleaguered Manchester United boss, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, knows it is just a matter of time before he loses his job at the club, but says he loves being around Old Trafford, and would appreciate being kept on "in some capacity". The Norwegian, 46,...
Read full storyGugu announces rat killing wireless utility power at CES
Lost Vegas, Nervana - Today at the Consumed Electrocuted Schtick (CES) conference, on the strip, startup Gugu (trying to leapfrog off the Googoo name?) showed a very impressive wireless charging system based on military millimeter wave (MMwave) techn...
Read full storyJose Mourinho Admits Tottenham Hotspur Are A One-Man Team
Jose Mourinho, the Tottenham Hotspur boss is no stranger to controversy, making tidal waves of drama with every word he utters, but few can have been more forthright than his statement yesterday, that, without Harry Kane, Spurs are nothing, and a bit...
Read full storyHarry And Meghan To Do Promotional Work For H&M
Stressed-out royal couple, Prince Harry and his wife Meghan, have announced that, as part of their first foray into the world of work since stepping back from their monarchical duties, they will be signing contracts to do promotional work with clothi...
Read full storyNashville Man Admits Cat Can Be a Little Petty
"No matter what else I have going on, all she ever wants is to be snuggled and cuddled and stroked," said Wade Johnson of Nashville, Tennessee, regarding his beloved feline animal companion, Ginny. "I hate to say it, but honestly, she can be a little...
Read full storyNashville Man Questions whether His Cat Truly Respects Him
Although Trent Harwood of Nashville, Tennessee, does his best not to take things personally, he admitted to questioning whether his cat, Sheba, truly respects him. "Sometimes I feel like she's playing with me," said Harwood of the alluring Abyssin...
Read full storyConor McGregor Seen Carrying Women's Handbag
He may be a tough guy, and he may have knocked-out American, Donald 'Cowboy' Cerrone, inside 40 seconds in his UFC comeback fight on Saturday, but Conor McGregor also has his softer side, and this became apparent to fans when the Irishman was later s...
Read full storyDeath Row Cat Evades Man's Attempts To Capture It
A cat which bit a woman's leg for no reason whatsoever other than it is a very bad cat, has been accused, investigated, convicted and sentenced to death, and has subsequently been put on Death Row. The cat, which is a ginger color, bit my wife the...
Read full storySunday's Super Bowl Could Be Cancelled Due To Coronavirus
The staging of Super Bowl LIV in Miami this Sunday, 2 February, has been thrown into doubt this morning, after Florida health officials said that events at which there were likely to be large gatherings of people should be given "the utmost considera...
Read full storyTrump Orders Incarceration of All Iranians in U. S.
Mar-a-Lago, Florida. Woof Blister reporting for SIN, Spoof International News. In a terse tweet, issued in the wee, small hours of the morning, Monday, President Donald Trump directed Homeland Security agents to apprehend and incarcerate all Iranians...
Read full storyDonald Trump To Have Dinner With Greta Thunberg
Eyebrows were raised in Davos last night, when news emerged that US President Donald Trump had invited environmental campaigner and activist, Greta Thunberg, out for dinner. The two had earlier clashed on a number of issues, regarding the lack of...
Read full storyMike And The Mechanics Are Not Really Mechanics
A investigation by undercover reporters from satirical news website, TheSpoof.com, has revealed that not one single member - past or present - of the British rock group, Mike and the Mechanics, is a mechanic. Nor has any of them EVER been a mechan...
Read full storyChinese Germ Warfare Program Coming Along Nicely
Authorities in Beijing have said that the Chinese germ warfare program, one result of which has been the Coronavirus outbreak in the city of Wuhan, is coming along nicely, thank you. Details of the program are sketchy, but one of the agents being...
Read full storyTo End World Hunger, Vatican Scientists Replicate Transubstantiation
The Vatican—Saying “God has now miraculously revealed how to turn seven loaves and a few small fish into a worldwide smorgasbord,” a Vatican spokesperson announced today that their scientists have figured out the physics behind the process of transub...
Read full storyVegan woman feels 'cheated' following bubonic plague diagnosis
A 25-year-old woman from Whitechapel in East London has told a local newspaper that she felt angry and cheated after being diagnosed with bubonic plague, despite having adopted a vegan lifestyle 6 months previously. Tracy Dell, a legal secretary,...
Read full storySajid Javid May Have Stolen One Million 50p Brexit Coins
Master of the Mint, Sajid Javid, is being held by officers from Scotland Yard this morning, after it was discovered a huge haul of special Brexit celebration 50p coins could not be accounted for. The commemorative coins should have gone into gener...
Read full storyGolden Globe Goers Complain Vegan Opera Cake a Little Dry
At the 77th Golden Globes awards dinner, guests enjoyed an entirely plant-based feast which included chilled golden beet soup, wild mushroom risotto, and roasted Brussels sprouts, but some attendees reportedly found the dessert, a vegan "opera cake,"...
Read full storyBuckwalter “Bucky” Beaver Passes Away In Beaver Crossing
BILLINGSGATE POST: The Mayor of Beaver Crossing, Nebraska, Buckwalter “Bucky” Beaver III passed away at the age of 91 on January 1, 2020. He left three sons to share his estate; BuckaRoo, BuckaRay and BuckaRee. All shared the same nickname, “Bucky...
Read full storyNashville Man Vows to Come Up with Really Good New Year's Resolution(s) for Next Year
Frustrated at finding himself yet again scrambling at the end of the year to come up with a New Year's resolution worthy of his sincere intention, Edwin Wallace of Nashville, Tennessee, abandoned the quest for this year, but vowed to come up with a t...
Read full storyKindergartener Expelled for Saying "Maclunkey" to Classmate
Ever since Disney+ became active with a re-released and slightly edited version of the original Star Wars movie, A New Hope, the word “Maclunkey” has become the topic of intense discussion, debate, and emotional turmoil. Suddenly, in the ever-changi...
Read full storyRonnie Radford Reveals He Was Aiming For The Top Right Corner
Hereford United's famous FA Cup hero, Ronnie Radford, the man responsible for the 'missile out of the mud' goal against Newcastle United in 1972, has admitted, for the first time, that he meant to go for the top right-hand corner, not the left. He...
Read full storyQueen Elizabeth to Head Ku Klux Klan
Sources in the United States and Britain reveal that Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth is poised to be appointed as honorary figurehead of the Ku Klux Klan. An interviewer in London spoke with the Queen as she was preparing to fly to New Orleans to meet...
Read full storyThe Queen Reveals Liking For Throbbing Gristle
In the unlikeliest of associations imaginable, Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth, has revealed that she is a fan of industrial music pioneers, Throbbing Gristle. TG, formed in Hull in 1975 from the remnants of COUM Transmissions, stunned audiences with...
Read full storyWilbur Ross Has Lost His Marbles
The US commerce secretary, Wilbur Ross, has been speaking on television and appears, very much, to have lost his marbles. Interestingly, the top of his head looks a bit like a marble. Mr Ross, talking to Fox Business News, commented that the de...
Read full storyIran And Iraq Travel Advice Update
The killing of so-called terrorist leader, Qasem Soleimani, by US forces earlier this week has drawn stern warnings of revenge from Iran, and the British Foreign Office has issued new travel advice for Britons intending to travel to the area, and, in...
Read full storyBat Soup Taken Off Menu At Chinese Restaurants
Government authorities in China have acted quickly in the wake of the deadly Coronavirus outbreak, and have placed an "absolute and total ban" on the serving of bat soup in restaurants, it has been reported. The virus, which is thought to have bee...
Read full storyPresident Trump Diagnosed With Coronavirus
The White House is on a full-scale alert this morning after medical staff were called to attend to President Donald Trump last night, when the US leader experienced a 20-minute coughing fit. He was given a full medical check-up, and found to be s...
Read full storyHarry Maguire Wants To Score Goals
Harry Maguire, the Manchester United and England central defender, has told team-mates that, despite his success at the club, and his pivotal role in the Old Trafford back four, he harbours a secret desire to score goals, and lots of them. Maguire...
Read full storyPresident Trump Buys 13 McDonald's Restaurants
Washington, D.C. – Donald Trump has informed Ipso Facto Illustrated Magazine that he has signed an agreement to purchase 13 McDonald’s Restaurants. The president stated that he already owns 270,301 shares in the hamburger chain. “Look, it is no s...
Read full storyExtremely Talented Writer Good At Basically Nothing Else In Life Loses Entire Novel After Improperly Removing USB Flash Drive From Dell Laptop
Minneapolis, Minnesota. After pouring his heart into a fictional novel over a period of 7 years and 5 months, Roger Wall, 39, removed his SanDisk Ultra Duel USB Flash Drive from his Dell laptop last Sunday, only to notice that everything had been er...
Read full storyNewcastle United Boss Steve Bruce Admits His Team Didn't Know How To Handle Aaron Wilbraham
Newcastle United have come unstuck before in the FA Cup, being embarrassed by the never-to-be-forgotten exploits of Hereford United in 1972, and it was almost more of the same yesterday as the Magpies barely managed to scrape a replay with League One...
Read full storyNashville Musician Explains that notwithstanding Superficial Similarities, His Music Is Not Country
Nashville, Tennessee, musician Wes Woodward has a tough time categorizing the music created by his band Meridional Pyre, but he is very clear that it is most definitely not country music. "I'd say it's best described as southern Gothic with black...
Read full storyInternal documents reveal ice cream industry lobby behind Illinois weed legalization
If residents thought the effort to legalize weed in the state of Illinois was an entirely grass-roots-organized movement, then it might come as something of a buzzkill to learn that powerful ice cream industry lobbying actually spearheaded the push.
Read full storyManchester United and Liverpool To Play At Cowboy Stadium in Dallas, Texas
MANCHESTER – Plans have just about been finalized for the English football team, the Manchester United Red Devils, to play the Liverpool Reds this summer at Cowboy Stadium in Dallas, Texas. Cowboys owner billionaire Jerry Jones,77, said that he i...
Read full storyGreggs Staff To Get £100 Voucher After "Phenomenal Year"
Staff at Britain's best-loved pastry shop, Greggs, are to share in a £7million windfall bonus that has come after what the firm called "a phenomenal year" in trading. Shareholders received a £35m special dividend in October. Chief executive, An...
Read full storyHarvey Weinstein complains about prison treatment
Disgraced director Harvey Weinstein has been imprisoned in New York's Sweatbreak Prison for nearly two years, and is beginning to feel the heat. According to prison documents made public this week, Weinstein has made seven complaints about his tre...
Read full storyRicky Gervais To Host Next Month's Oscars
British stand-up comedian and failed pop star, Ricky Gervais, has, in principle, agreed to host the Oscars award ceremony set for 9 February. Gervais, who has hosted the Golden Globes event five times, had thought he'd done enough at that award ce...
Read full storyBurgers Infused with Pomegranate Cause Cancer and Heart Disease
For those eager to complement their burgers, ketchup or barbecue sauce may be a safer bet than pomegranate, suggests a new study by the Meat in the Middle Foundation. According to the MIMF report, ground beef that was infused with pomegranate juic...
Read full storyCrotchless Aliens Already Here Say NASA Scientists
BILLINGSGATE POST: Confirmation that aliens already have landed on Earth and may have been here for years, has been announced by NASA scientists. In the January edition of NASA’s respected journal “Get Outa My Space,” a picture of one these critter...
Read full storyTen Predictions Absolutely Certain to be True in the Next Decade
1. Baby Boomers, Gen Xers and Millennials will all age at least ten years, although everyone will be able to deny it, as the socialist administrations of Presidents Sanders and Ocasio-Cortez, will offer free botox to anyone who needs it. And they wil...
Read full storyWorld leaders agree that Iranian Revolutionary Guardsman accidentally picked rocket from store, accidentally put it into a rocket launcher, accidentally aimed it at Ukrainian passenger plane and accidentally fired – it was all an accident!
World leaders have refused to condemn Iran after the damning evidence that it had shot down a Ukrainian passenger jet headed to Ukraine and Canada in what appears to have been a clumsy response to the drone strike by the US military against a Quds Ge...
Read full storyCanadian PM blames Trump for downed Ukraine jet, and also blames Winston Churchill for deaths of Allied soldiers during WW2
Wacky Canadian leader Justin Trudeau angrily denounced Donald Trump for the deaths of the innocent passengers on the Ukrainian passenger jet blown up by mistake by an Iranian missile, saying this was caused by the US assassination of Iranian Quds Gen...
Read full storyTrump Says He Can Eliminate New Iranian General Whilst He's Having A Bath
President Donald Trump has flexed his military muscles in response to various threats of Iranian revenge, by saying that, if it suits him, he could eliminate the new leader of the elite Quds force, Esmail Ghaani, whilst he is in the bath. That's,...
Read full storyAnger as Harry and Meghan ghost the Queen
A Buckingham Palace spokesman said that the Queen was upset at being ghosted by Harry and Meghan. He said "The Queen is really, really annoyed. Her son and daughter in law haven't replied to any of her text messages or What's App messages, even ones...
Read full storyThick Bloke On Facebook Gets Meghan Markle Confused With Angela Merkel
A man, who may very well have had a low-standard education, became confused whilst using the Facebook social media platform this week, and inadvertently mixed-up the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle, with the German chancellor, Angela Merkel. Oh d...
Read full storyJuan Guaido climbs fence into National Assembly; rips ass out of trousers
Yesterday, opposition leader Juan Guaido attempted to climb over a fence around the National Assembly Building in Caracas, Venezuela. A vote was taking place to replace him as Speaker with former Guaido supporter, Luis Parra. A year ago, Guaido...
Read full storyMan Still Doesn't Know What He Wants To Do When He Leaves School
Leaving school and going out into the big, wide world is a huge step in our lives, and a choice has to be made about how we are going to make our way in life, but one man has revealed that he STILL doesn't know what he wants to do when he leaves scho...
Read full storyChinese New Year Called Off Due To Filthy Spitting Habit
Authorities in Beijing have called off celebrations for the Chinese New Year, due to the complete lack of hygiene practised by the greater majority of people in the country. The government said that they are especially concerned about spitting.
Read full storyGestation Crates Approved for Human Use
For new mothers seeking to give their offspring the health benefits of breast milk without having to get too close, gestation crates, commonly used in pork production, have now been approved for human use. "It's perfect," said new mom Kim Lowell,...
Read full storyManchester United Overseas Fan Clubs Challenge UK Fan Club To Online Quiz Night
Manchester United are, numerically, the most-supported football club in the world. They have fans in every country, and those fans' attachment to the club - even though many have no idea where Manchester is - is passionate. Many of them are so pas...
Read full storyDonald Trump will travel to Green Zone to rally the troops and deliver major address
Major news organizations such as Reuters are reporting that Melania, Jared, and Ivanka have declined Mr. Trump's invitation to accompany him to Baghdad this coming weekend. Mr. Pompeo has likewise declined, citing an important conference in Moose...
Read full storyNashville Man Considers Becoming Bipolar
"Emotions are exhausting," noted Ben Moffat of Nashville, Tennessee. "It would be a whole lot easier to have just two of them." For that reason, Moffat explained that he is seriously considering becoming bipolar. "That way, when someone asks me h...
Read full storyCorbyn and Cummings form Downing Street Dream Team
So, he's made it after all. Good ol' Jeremy! The PM's senior typist and telephonist, Dominic Cummings, landed a genuine coup when requesting applications to 'help out' with his chores at No. 10. Applicants were to be well-proven 'weirdos and misfi...
Read full storyGang Member Made Son Smoke Whole Pack of Fools in One Day
LA - Young Andre got a hard lesson in parenting last week after his father, Tré, a member of the Bull Creek Street Gang, caught him smoking fools. On Wednesday night, Andre was out on the town with his boys when one of them suggested they get some...
Read full storyWind Blew Fence Down
An extra strong gust of wind was thought to have been responsible for damage to the fence of a house in Nottingham this morning, after the owner of the property woke early to go to the toilet, looked outside, and saw a section of his latted fence lai...
Read full storyNashville Woman Dresses to Impress on Casual Fridays
While some of her coworkers might give her odd looks when she shows up in a fitted blouse and business skirt on casual Fridays at the office, Lara Revolinski has a plan in mind. "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have," is the motto adop...
Read full storyMeghan Markle found abandoned, tied to tree in Canada, hungry and with note saying “Sorry we couldn’t look after her anymore, please take care of her”
The RSPCA has been brought in after the discovery of the Duchess of Sussex tied to a maple tree in British Columbia, looking worn and haggard, and with a sad, handwritten note in her mouth. The note reads “Sorry, we couldn’t look after Duchess any...
Read full storyNashville Man Successfully Articulates a Feeling
Uncertain what to do about a physical sensation in his chest that seemed to resemble an emotion, Trenton Locke of Nashville, Tennessee, took a stab at articulating the apparent feeling - to great effect. "I told the woman I was dating that I was a...
Read full storyDesperate FDA Encourages Americans to Get Comfortable in Their Bodies Just as They Are
"Times have changed, and we need to change with them," was the New Year's message offered by Food and Drug Administration Commissioner Dr. Stephen Hahn, who urged Americans to abandon unrealistic expectations about living in a trim, fit body. "We nee...
Read full storyDrone Strike Takes Out Large Iranian Suicide Cockroach Suspected Of Biting Melania Trump
A military drone today took out several rooms of the world renowned Mar-a-Lago. The target? The most insidious weapon ever deployed by Iran, a large Madagascar hissing cockroach. "It was spotted by Mrs Trump in the laboratory of their master bedro...
Read full storyIt’s a Sad Sad Sad Sad World: A Review
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was sad. If anyone wanted to know why, she explained that impeaching the president was a sad but necessary thing to do. To reinforce the idea that she was sad, the Speaker of the House had donned a funereal, black mid-calf...
Read full storyNashville Man Rallies After Disappointing Trip to Grocery Store
Geared up to stock up on wholesome foods and fulfill his New Year’s intention of caring for his body in the way that it deserves, Nate Rudowski of Nashville, Tennessee, popped into his local Kroger grocery store, only to have a disappointing food-sho...
Read full storyNashville Man Thus Far Unsuccessful in Attempts to Devise Divisibility Test for Seven
"I wasn't trying to reinvent relativity or anything, but I did hope I could contribute a little something to the world of mathematics," said Carl Larsen of Nashville, Tennessee, of his efforts to devise a divisibility test for the number seven. "Boy,...
Read full storyBenefit Concert in Tehran backfires
Planned as a peace mission, a benefit concert hastily organized by stars from the world of music and theater got a mixed reception from the exclusively female audience at a huge barn on the outskirts of Tehran yesterday. "We want peace with Iran",...
Read full storyUK signs TRILLION POUND trade deal with Iran to sell Union Jack flags and wax figures of the Prime Minister
The Prime Minister is celebrating after closing one of the biggest trading deals in history with, of all countries, Iran! Under the terms of the 10-year deal, British manufacturers will sell British souvenirs, namely Union Jack flags and Madame Tu...
Read full storyNashville Man Reaches Compromise with Reality
After decades of pushing for better pay and overall conditions, Mike Chapman of Nashville, Tennessee, finally reached an acceptable compromise with reality. “Kind of a laissez faire approach,” said Chapman. “I don’t bother it, and it doesn’t bothe...
Read full storyQueen To Step Back From Royal Duties
As part of an ever-growing trend, Her Majesty the Queen has, this morning, announced that she will be stepping back from her royal role, and will gradually retire from public life, which she described as "ghastly". This follows similar recent act...
Read full storyNashville Man Narrowly Escapes Emotional Enmeshnent
When the woman he'd been casually seeing for several weeks suddenly, out of nowhere, proposed getting together somewhere outside of his house, Brett Crowley of Nashville, Tennessee, immediately recognized the suggestion for what it was: an invitation...
Read full storyPresident Trump Hard At Work On World War 4
After last week's airstrike that killed Iranian general Qasem Soleimani, and the fallout from that incident that has brought the world to the brink of a new world conflict, President Trump was back at his White House desk over the weekend, putting th...
Read full storyMeghan and Harry storm the job market
Yep, the finches had been warbling it for weeks. But no-one wanted to listen. And now, Meghan, or rather the cat, has been let out of the bag. The Duchess of Sussex and Prince Harry have had enough. Now it's official. Now there's no going back. Now l...
Read full storyPoll guru Sir John Curtice makes astounding predictions about next week in Westminster – Jeremy Corbyn will leave his wallet at home and Boris Johnson’s new puppy will shit on the kitchen floor
Polling expert Sir John Curtice, writing in Mystic Meg’s column in The Sun newspaper today, has warned that next Thursday, lame-duck Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn, will leave his wallet at home in a rush to get to work. The damning foretelling is bound...
Read full storyDonald Trump Impeachment Hearing Latest
After the latest news broke this morning about the one hundred lawmakers of the US Senate being sworn in on Thursday as jurors for the impending impeachment trial of President Donald Trump, TheSpoof.com has decided to provide readers unfamiliar with...
Read full storyHarry Maguire Scores His First Goal For Manchester United
The strong tradition of FA Cup giantkilling, and fans' love of an upset were not uppermost in Manchester United and England central defender Harry Maguire's thoughts this afternoon, when, after only 11 minutes of the FA Cup 4th-round tie against Tran...
Read full storyDictator Donald (3 Tweets)
I’m fit to be tied because Democrats like Schumer, Pelosi, Nadler, and Brickenheimer are trying to get your wonderful, handsome, non-colluding leader out of the White House. Well, let me tell the four titty babies that the White House front door has...
Read full storyKarmatic Alternatives To Impeachment For You-Know-Who.
Here are some possibilities for our Complainer in Chief to pay off his karma debt for throwing the Ukraine to the Russian wolves in not letting them have the military aid that was promised them when they needed it: Being embodied as a soldier at t...
Read full storyHarvey Weinstein To Claim Executive Privilege Just Like Trump
Taking a page out of the Donald Trump defense book, Harvey Weinstein is claiming executive privilege and is not allowing any former actresses, actors, anyone who auditioned for him, had dinner with him, gave him a massage, sat too close at a restaura...
Read full storyPresident Trump Impeachment Trial Has Really Caught The Attention Of The American Public
The impeachment inquiry into President Donald Trump's 'wrongdoings' has, despite concerns to the contrary, ignited an enthusiasm in the general public that is difficult to comprehend, with many people admitting they were "mildly interested". Presi...
Read full storyGeorge Orwell alive and well in undisclosed location now under investigation
Approaching his 117th birthday, on June 25, Mr. George Orwell has been discovered in an undisclosed location. Supposedly passed away on January 21,1950, this information is incorrect. US Special Forces kidnapped Orwell from the UK on January 20...
Read full storyRogue audio captured of Trump and Pompeo deep inside D.C. bar with major program discussion
The latest whistleblowing comes from an audio tape secreted in a booth deep inside a Washington D.C. bar called “Club Enobarbus.” How the specific booth was pinpointed for the listening device is, of course, known only by the CIA and such agencies...
Read full storyTiger Woods Announces That He Will Legally Be Changing His Nickname
MISSOULA, Montana – Eldrick Tont “Tiger” Woods was at The 93rd Annual Missoula Semi-Invitational Golf Tournament when he was approached by Ichabod Fernandez with The Vox Populi News Agency about a rampant rumor making the rounds (no pun intended).
Read full story