Harvey Weinstein complains about prison treatment

Funny story written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface

Friday, 3 January 2020

image for Harvey Weinstein complains about prison treatment
Weinstein said that one masked prisoner whispered to him when he first entered the jail, "I can smell your guilt"

Disgraced director Harvey Weinstein has been imprisoned in New York's Sweatbreak Prison for nearly two years, and is beginning to feel the heat.

According to prison documents made public this week, Weinstein has made seven complaints about his treatment in the notoriously rough jail. In one grievance claim, he says that the other prisoners often exhibit "inappropriate sexual behaviour" towards him such as unwanted groping, exposure and even bum-rape.

"It's so unfair," whines the overweight criminal, who now has to walk with a zimmerframe due to a punctured anus. "Why can't they just leave me alone?"

Weinstein has requested a transfer to either the Herbert Hoover Prison for Wayward Celebrities, or to the Deathkill Prison - well known for being the place where Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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