Harry Maguire Scores His First Goal For Manchester United

Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 26 January 2020

image for Harry Maguire Scores His First Goal For Manchester United
I didn't see it, but, apparently, it was a bit of a thunderbolt

The strong tradition of FA Cup giantkilling, and fans' love of an upset were not uppermost in Manchester United and England central defender Harry Maguire's thoughts this afternoon, when, after only 11 minutes of the FA Cup 4th-round tie against Tranmere Rovers, the Yorkshireman crashed a shot into the net.

It was Maguire's first goal for United, and could not have come at a better time, because they are shite at the moment, and manager, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, will almost certainly be sacked if they don't win at Prenton Park.

The ball was cleared from a corner, and came to Maguire. Defenders probably thought that they didn't need to close the brick shithouse down, but they were wrong.

Maguire looked down, then up, then down again, then creamed the ball of his laces, unleashing an unstoppable shot that produced a sonic bang, damaging glasses in the bar.

A few other players also scored.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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