Extremely Talented Writer Good At Basically Nothing Else In Life Loses Entire Novel After Improperly Removing USB Flash Drive From Dell Laptop

Written by Wesley Janson

Friday, 24 January 2020

image for Extremely Talented Writer Good At Basically Nothing Else In Life Loses Entire Novel After Improperly Removing USB Flash Drive From Dell Laptop
FUCK!

Minneapolis, Minnesota. After pouring his heart into a fictional novel over a period of 7 years and 5 months, Roger Wall, 39, removed his SanDisk Ultra Duel USB Flash Drive from his Dell laptop last Sunday, only to notice that everything had been erased the next morning, and that all of his work was gone.

Feeling victorious, accomplished, and euphorically satisfied to a degree beyond imagination, upon writing the final sentence that perfectly tied everything together and provided the 'ending touch' that was needed, Roger forgot to hit the 'save' button before he pulled the device out, and went to sleep in his barren apartment.

Although Heavenly Angels were dancing in his dreams, and a feeling of blissful exhaustion had washed over him after uncountable evenings of hard work and mental exhaustion, Mr. Wall woke up the next morning only to find that chapters 1-30 of his 967-page literary masterpiece had vanished completely due to his untimely removing of the highly-advanced 'piece of technology'.

"I think it's OK that I spent numerous hours underneath a lonely lamp constructing a novel based on my own traumatic and heart-wrenching experiences only to have it disappear in an instant," said the aging, part-time administrative assistant, who noticeably trembled in a sincere effort to fight off an earth-shattering, nervous breakdown of epic proportions.

"I'm completely fine, and I simply can't wait to go back to my soul-draining and purposeless job in order to enjoy gossip that will ultimately mean nothing in the future," he confessed, while slowly falling apart inside as a human being.

"Ha Ha Ha," he demonically added, before solidly confirming that he would not resort to drinking Whiskey and Pabst Blue Ribbon on a nightly basis in order to blank out completely.

As nothing but sadness, pain, and darkness poured into the very essence of his being, long-lost family and friends began sending him text messages on Wednesday, sincerely begging him not to do something impulsive or desperate.

Despite their pleas, however, Roger cast all of his feelings and emotions aside and looked for a career as a Technical Writer.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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