Greggs Staff To Get £100 Voucher After "Phenomenal Year"

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 9 January 2020

image for Greggs Staff To Get £100 Voucher After "Phenomenal Year"
A man holding a Greggs Sausage Roll in one of the firm's paper bags

Staff at Britain's best-loved pastry shop, Greggs, are to share in a £7million windfall bonus that has come after what the firm called "a phenomenal year" in trading.

Shareholders received a £35m special dividend in October.

Chief executive, Andy Flakey, enthused:

"We've had a phenomenal year in the Land of Pastry, and we thought it only right that we share a little bit of that with the people who have been doing all the work."

Each staff member will receive a £100 voucher that can be used to purchase some of the many items the company has made favourites amongst the snack food and pie-eating shoppers on British high streets.

Included in these are the famous and now iconic Vegan Sausage Rolls, which have taken the country by storm.

Also available to be purchased with the vouchers is the Steak Bake.

Others are the Cheese.and Onion Bake, the Bacon and Cheese Wrap, and the traditional Sausage Roll.

No change can be given when the £100 voucher is submitted, so, unless the member of staff is absolutely famished, and is buying a lot of things, the voucher is virtually worthless.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more