Man Still Doesn't Know What He Wants To Do When He Leaves School

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 1 January 2020

image for Man Still Doesn't Know What He Wants To Do When He Leaves School
It's not easy trying to decide how to fit into the game

Leaving school and going out into the big, wide world is a huge step in our lives, and a choice has to be made about how we are going to make our way in life, but one man has revealed that he STILL doesn't know what he wants to do when he leaves school - even though he's now 59!

John Penrose still remembers the day when the Careers Officer came to his school in 1975 when he was 15, and asked him about what sort of job he was going to look for once he'd finished his education.

"I looked at him blankly," says Penrose. "I had no idea."

When it was established that the student liked English, and was good at mathematics, the Careers Officer suggested that Penrose seek work in a bank, or in an office environment.

Right there, the scene was set for 43 years of misery. Penrose:

"I was never good with my hands, and, although I would have liked to have tried building, being a mechanic or something like that, I was told I should 'use my brain', and be a pen-pusher. I didn't care, back then. I just wanted to get out of school."

Since he left school in 1976, he's had a succession of unrewarding, meaningless and mind-numbing office-style jobs that have served only to make him resentful of work, bosses, and other people, and constantly wonder whether there wasn't something more interesting he could have been doing all these years.

He's suffered from depression for as long as he can remember, and does not mix easily.

"Still," he said, "I'll be retiring in six years, and then I won't need to think about making that tricky decision anymore."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more