Approaching his 117th birthday, on June 25, Mr. George Orwell has been discovered in an undisclosed location.
Supposedly passed away on January 21,1950, this information is incorrect.
US Special Forces kidnapped Orwell from the UK on January 20, 1950, and confined him in a basement dungeon at The White House.
However, shortly afterwards, he slipped away and eventually joined the more than half million homeless in America living under bridges and alongside ditches, in tent cities here and there.
According to scholars now dogging this case, Mr. Orwell has lost none of his visionary thinking.
In fact, it may have been enhanced due to his enjoyment of certain substances.
He has recently tweeted: “I can no longer keep silent. Look for more directly.”
Mr. Pompeo responded: “This man is second only to Soleimani as a threat to this country, and the free world! The bad guy we just exterminated!”
Mr. Trump came on, with a certain dreamy-sounding tone in his voice, as though somebody had hypnotized him:
“Under my leadership . . . we have spent trillions of dollars . . . to create the greatest military . . . the world has ever seen . . . What’s that? Who?”
Mr. Pompeo stamped his foot:
“We have drone activity on this problem as we speak! Mr. Orwell or whatever his name is had better get his flameproof armor on and avoid all commercial flights out of the country!”
Audio from one of Mr. Orwell’s locales indicates he had a response, with sound quality somewhat unclear--“Pass the bong!” could have been “Watch out for that dung!”
Whatever, Mr. Orwell’s baritone at this point was unmistakable:
“War is peace; freedom is slavery; ignorance is strength.”
Mr. Trump: “Who is this guy? Pompey, say something!”
Mr. Pompeo: “This is preposterous! The United States is a peace-loving nation which seeks nothing more than stability and promoting other nations in various regions of the world.”
Plus: "And according to their interests, not ours!"
Mr. Orwell (with the sound of applause and “Yo, baby!” in the background):
“And the stock market—oil and munitions specifically—has nothing to do with the US State Department’s foreign policy.”
Mr. Trump: “You see? Now he’s getting it! Am I good for the economy or what?”