A Buckingham Palace spokesman said that the Queen was upset at being ghosted by Harry and Meghan. He said "The Queen is really, really annoyed. Her son and daughter in law haven't replied to any of her text messages or What's App messages, even ones with cute emojis."
It was also revealed that Meghan had secretly changed the meeting point for a London girls night out pub crawl without telling the Queen, leaving the aging monarch waiting for two hours at a Soho Street corner before finally catching a cab home. The spokesman said "The Queen was like, WTF, you know? She couldn't believe it, and stuff."
However, friends of Meghan were quick to defend the American actress. Richard Gere said "The Queen knows she's partly to blame. She's always telling Meghan do this, do that. And the Primark socks she bought for Archie were in pink. I mean, who buys pink socks for a boy, innit?"
Public opinion is split on who is to blame for the apparent split between the Queen and Meghan. One person, calling himself Gotnolife from Myparentsbasement, wrote in the Daily Mail "What a gold digger. She should repay everything including the £2.5 million repairs to Frogmore Cottage, she and Harry should have their titles revoked, and they should be exiled." However, another, calling herself Levelheaded, wrote "Life's too short. They should sit down and talk to each other." A third, calling himself TheDonald, wrote "Sad, so sad. Particularly for the Queen. Great lady. So great. And what they're doing to the US President, it's fake news."