MANCHESTER – Plans have just about been finalized for the English football team, the Manchester United Red Devils, to play the Liverpool Reds this summer at Cowboy Stadium in Dallas, Texas.
Cowboys owner billionaire Jerry Jones,77, said that he is really looking forward to having these two English football teams come down to Texas. He said that he has made arrangements for both teams to stay at the luxuriously-elegant Mrs. Davy Crockett Hotel.
The Cowboys owner said that he recently spoke with Manchester United manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, 46, on the phone. Jones remarked that he was truly amazed with Solskjaer, a native of Norway, and his complete knowledge for the game. Jones told him that when he visits in the summer, he will take him to the best Norwegian restaurant in Dallas, Fiord Thors.
Solskjaer mentioned to Jones that one of his players Phil Jones, a defender, has a cousin who once dated one of the Cowboys cheerleaders, Tiffany Wigfaust. Solskjaer commented that they ended up breaking up because his cousin became very homesick, and he really missed his mom's home-cooked Fish and Chips, Bangers and Mash, Bubble and Squeak Cake, and Beef Wellington Pizza.
Jerry Jones managed to get a hold of Liverpool manager Jurgen Kloop, who told the Cowboys owner that he would love to see real Longhorn cattle. Jones told him that he would personally give him a tour of his 19,000-acre cattle ranch, El Rancho Mucho Grande.
(IN CLOSING – Jerry Jones extended an invitation for Queen Elizabeth to visit Dallas, and attend the Manchester United vs. Liverpool match as his personal quest, but he said that she replied that she would be much too busy what with all of her queening duties and such.)