Vegan woman feels 'cheated' following bubonic plague diagnosis

Funny story written by Clive Danton

Tuesday, 7 January 2020

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A 25-year-old woman from Whitechapel in East London has told a local newspaper that she felt angry and cheated after being diagnosed with bubonic plague, despite having adopted a vegan lifestyle 6 months previously.

Tracy Dell, a legal secretary, told The East London Gazette: "When my doctor told me I had the bubonic plague and was going to die, I was fuming.

"I've eaten nothing but plant-based food for the last six months in the belief that it would not only improve my wellness, but would render me immune to disease of any description.

"When I think that I could have been tucking into hot dogs and shepherd's pie instead of kale and Linda McCartney sausages, it makes my blood boil."

A leading nutritionist said last night: "Not only does a vegan diet not protect you against disease, it also renders you 97 per cent more likely to be punched in the face by a friend who's sick of hearing about it."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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