Iran And Iraq Travel Advice Update

Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 4 January 2020

image for Iran And Iraq Travel Advice Update
Soldiers checking out one of Iran's many beaches

The killing of so-called terrorist leader, Qasem Soleimani, by US forces earlier this week has drawn stern warnings of revenge from Iran, and the British Foreign Office has issued new travel advice for Britons intending to travel to the area, and, indeed, the Middle East in general.

Mr Soleimani, 62, was said to be head of the elite Quds group, but, as he was doing me no harm, his assassination during a US airstrike has left me baffled, and might prove to have been more bother than it was worth.

Except to weapons manufacturers, that is.

An unnamed Foreign Office spokesman said:

"Our advice is don't go!: I mean, why would you want to?"

He qualified this by saying:

"All that dust, and muck! And the searing, clingy heat! If heat is what rings your bell, go to Mallorca - it's lovely this time of year."

Another problem with travelling within the borders of Iran and Iraq, is that you're never quite sure which one of them you are in, and when the 'n' has changed to a 'q', said the official.

"Although, thanks to several interventions by the US and ourselves over the years, there's little to differentiate between the two. They're both a couple of bombed-out shitholes."

The food, according to the rather flimsy advice, will probably not be to everyone's palate.

"If you like rice and unspecified animal parts, you should be fine, but be aware, there are no McDonald's or Aberdeen Angus Steak Houses."

The official concluded by saying that the personal safety of travellers is also something that should be taken into account. He said:

"Extreme caution should be applied. World War 3 is not something to be trifled with."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more